Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XI Update!!

Survivor XI: Guatemala!

Oh Yeah? Well You're a Big Lying ... Liar.

Where in... the kids play trivia games, smash jugs of corn, point fingers, call each other liars, and Rafe - self proclaimed gay mormon - cops a feel in a waterfall. We're rushing towards the end game and the personalities are starting to fall away revealing the inner shit heads. Stephanie's shine is dulling, Judd is just kinda scary and that Lydia is one creepy-drama-low-fat-latte.

Survivor 11... in 11 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Lydia looks freaky in night vision video, and Gary knows he's only here because Jamie was a head case. Judd makes a lousy spy and Gary has no idea how to whisper. Jeff sets them about the trivia game with the "smash the other players jugg" feature that sets the strong players against one another leaving the under-the-radar-crowd (Cindy and Rafe) to share in a fancy spancy reward. Lydia goes a bit mental and Jeff feeds them a Moon Goddess story for a trivia Immunity game. Rafe wins again, Lydia falls apart, and Gary ... screwed himself. He knows he's hurting and lets it all out at Tribal. He gets a good dig in ... but goes ten seconds later.

The Details
Night vision video (that does nothing for any of them) camera after they chucked out Jamie, watches Judd scratch his big squishy head in confusion. Gary gets up early to work on Lydia's small ego and Judd wakes up quietly to spy on them... and everybody ends up at the Reward Game. This one is a trivia game where the winners get to smash a players jugg. Unfortunately this doesn't mean smashing Judd in the head.... Each player has three jugs of corn and if all three get smashed... yer out. So, of course, all the attitudes come out... Lydia knocks out Stephanie so Steph wears a Lydia pin up her ass for the rest of the show. As happens ever year, when they play this game, the quiet players get overlooked and end up winning... So Cindy - the Zookeeper - gets a "final question" about crocodile behavior and wins. She gets to take someone with on her "Spa Adventure" of food, waterfalls and massage. Lydia looks like an escaped cop killer as she waits to get picked to go with Cindy... Cindy picks Rafe (bwaahaha) and it's all downhill for Lydia after that. Rafe enjoys being touchy feely with Cindy... and the freak-censors get the editors to fuzzy video a brief edge-of-boob squish of Cindy laying on her tummy getting a massage. This all ends and we get to see just how "outsider" the rest of them are treating Lydia. She's sitting alone on a stump at camp as the returning spa kids explain their pleasures... Holy flipping pathetic Panamanian. Yo Lydia... go buy some shoes and try to relax for chrissake! Jeff, having whipped out another blue shirt / beige pants combo (surprise surprise) takes the gang through more trivia for Immunity. It's story time and he tells them about the Mayan Moon Goddess. Then they run around putting together puzzels and answering riddles about the goddess. Rafe kicks ass and Lydia falls apart. It was kinda sad... she had the big puffer eyes going on - she needs some sedatives... and Gary - try as he might - just cannot win Immunity. They go to tribal council and the gloves come off as Gary calls out Jugg-Head-Idiot boy about his b.s. claims that he'll have to "start lying"... hahahahaha... He nails him and he sends a good zinger at Steph too... but he knows the writing is on the wall for him and he gets tossed with a solid vote.

Fav Quote
Gary: "Jamie did a big favour by driving everyone crazy!"
Gary: "Some people are star struck... but they can get [Steph's] autograph after the show..."
Gary: "That's not a lie... you know what's a lie? 'Hey you guys, the idol is on the ground!'... that's a lie."
Yeah... Gary was facing his exit and taking a few shots on the way through it.

Most Memorable Moment
Has to be when Gary calls out Judd on the lie over the location of the mini Immunity Idol. Judd is such a blow fish.

Burn Baby Burn
(aka "Tribal Council")
Jeff asks all the right questions to get people bitching and arguing... nice. Donny (Osmand) and Jamie - the Jury - actually bust up laughing when Gary digs at Steph with a crack about how peeps can get her autograph after the show. It was a no-brainer as the votes came and went to fry Gary. I had some hopes that Judd would go... but that'll have to wait till next week.

The winner...
I'm still seeing Cindy in the money but if Rafe can get to the final two... he may well win on the "earned it" vote.

Two Things...
~ no really, Stephanie... ease up there sugar. Your not doing yourself any favours by acting like such a whiney bitch.
~ how the hell has Lydia managed to make it this far in the game????? geezus.

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