Survivor XI: Guatemala!
Lies, Damn Lies...
Where in... some of the most seriously deficient human beings evva attempt to crap their way to a million dollars. Big, drunk and stupid versus blind ambition, dumb-as-a-post versus as-thin-as-a-post, or just plain ol'stooooooopid versus... itself. The nit wits chuck arrows around, eat like pigs and paupers, misunderstand one another, lie like rugs, walk thin lines and then to top it all off, one of them snookers the rest... but good. They send the first person to the jury tonight and feed my constant fear... that Jeff will have to start shooting these guys just to put them out of our misery.
Survivor 11... in 11 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Jamie gets a blast but then he and BJ start to emotionally sixty-nine each other, and then they whip arrows in a dart game thing for increasingly excellent meals... with booze. Judd lets us know what he must be like in his street clothes - waking up drunk having barfed in the shelter, and Jamie can't hear for shit and needs subtitles when he ... speaks... english. Judd lies about how his cool clue tells him the idol is on the ground then goes and searches the tree tops. It's a balancing act to get immunity, and we get great face plant action watching Jamie take the prize. Then, when it's all about sending the quarterback to the outback, Gary whips out the "found idol", securing immunity, so they turn on BJ and make him the first member of the Jury.
Rafe can't stand conflict, so he goes for the Peace Maker job... Jamie acts the wounded puppy over BJ dissing him at the council and the two of them have to kiss and make up. Now it's all about finding the little idol in the jungle because Dani, Gary, and BJ feel mightily done! Day 22 dawns with a Reward game where they chuck an arrow at a target using this ancient Myan stick thing and thus sort themselves into a rank. The best gets a kick as steak, lobster and open bar meal while the worst gets dirty water and some nuts. (and various degrees of food in between) Captain Transparent Plot Boy Jamie appears to want to atone for his sins by taking last place when he earned fourth doing everyone a big favor but really buying nothing in the way of support. Judd slips back into his natural state as "Big Drunk Doorman" and ends up barfing in the shelter... and laughs it off. He got a clue about the hidden idol which tells him it's not on the ground. He shares that with Steph because he wants to fuck her, then tells everyone else the clue says the idol is on the ground... because he wants to fuck them too... just ... in a different hole. Gary tries to mollify Jamie by promising to vote with him no matter what... and idiot boy Jamie hears "... vote against you" and thus begins another journey to his personal dark side. Immunity is a three stage game starting with a "walk the balance beam and pick up two boards" thing... there are spectacular wipe outs... Steph, Gary, Rafe and Jamie advance and they do this two step thing on boards balanced on ropes... Gary takes a nasty spill. Rafe and Jamie advance. Then it's this "walk on one rope, holding another rope" thing and while Rafe ends up suspended head first in the water... Jamie slips on the Immunity necklace screwing the obvious plan to fry him. So that puts Gary in the slip knot... He watches El'Supido Judd search the tree tops for the Idol that is supposable hidden on the ground and takes his clues... Then they go to council and Jeff asks the all about lying. Judd, of course, stone face's his next lies and when the time comes to vote... Gary screws them all by whipping out the secret idol. Huge surprise and Jeff practically creams himself on the spot at how that gimmick worked out. With Gary off the block... and "no talking" allowed, they all file up and fry BJ.... who becomes the first member of the jury.
"NO TALKING"... say's Jeff, after he recovers from making his "O face" when Gary hands in the idol at council... The idea being that they can't replot their votes... bwahahaha...
Most Memorable Moment
The easy item here would be the look on Gary's face when he whips out the idol at council, but for my money the most memorable moment was when Rafe fricken face planted on that rope walk thing... feet on one rope, hands on another, walking over a pool and he falls, yet holds on to the rope and flips upside down with his head under water and body stuck above him.
Burn Baby Burn
(aka "Tribal Council")
Dude! Jeff calls them all out about lying. He asks Judd out-right, who lies like a pro in response. This goes on until Cindy points out the obvious that everybody is gonna lie or has lied at some point in this game!! Gary and the idol move all the votes over to BJ (how come Dani is not even considered?) and away he goes!!
K, did you see how cute Cindy still looks ... after 22 days with crap for caloric intake?? And... And she's the only one that is not acting like a complete dip shit. I'm cheering for her... and, of course, Jamie will probably win...
~ The Jamie / Gary misunderstanding comes to a head next week... neither one of them kills the other and there are no broken bones... so it wont actually be that exciting. Although there's a helicopter involved at some point... so it might be fun! :)
~ Why did they ("crummy meal getters" in the Reward game) sit and watch Judd get hammered?
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