Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 8 Update!!

Amazing Race 8 Update!!


You Hoo... Boys...



It's all about... blonds trolling for dollars on the streets of Panama, buses, volcanoes, San Jose, a big nasty Yield and a nasty little red bean that ruined everything!!!



Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
Late evening on the shores of Panama.
~ get yerself to Costa Rica, but with an evening departure... expect to be waiting somewhere.
~ the Weavers pray ... basically all the time.
~ and they pack cabs to the bus station... once again giving me the willies as a Branson girl wedges herself onto daddy's lap.
~ buses leave in three time slots, with little impact on the overall order of things.
~ a clue at a San Jose volcano sends 'em all to a road block searching for a red bean among eight million white beans... But first, the teams all trip over themselves to be the ones that get to Yield the Weavers.
~ from the bean search it's off to the world class exciting town of Jaco (???) and a Detour.
~ ripe or relics... moving 15 bundles of bananas or running around a rain forest and carrying some foam statues.
~ then off to the pit stop... with the retarded family coming in first - again! and with great, stupid sadness... (sniff)... the Gaghan's come in last and we watch wee little tiny Carissa trying to hold back tears.

The Good
"We have to run to Costa Rica Carissa... can you do that?"
"how far?"
"oh, about 200 miles... hurry up..."

After the volcano, the teams are sent to a plantation where they kick in on a Road Block to find a red bean in mountain of white beans... but there's a "Yield" at the beginning... and pretty much all the teams are hurrying to get to the yield board so they can nail the Weavers. As much as I want to like their steadfast, plucky efforts... I still cringe at the sight of Mommy Trailer Park and her daughters Box-spring and Futon. If it wasn't for the boy (Beaver Weaver) I'd be sticking pins in voodoo dolls by now.

I like how they all use pet names for one another... i.e. "Florida" for the Weavers, "The Powder Blues" for the Branson’s, the "Desperate Housewives" for the Godlewski’s. The Housewives tried to "work it" in a bar when they needed cab fair (remember they were robbed by Phil last week for coming in last... non-elimination). And "working it" only got them a drunk guy saying he’s got "love". Hahahaha...

The Bad
The number of times the Weavers pray for solutions... you'd think they expect god to take a personal hand in their Amazing Race-a-thon. Yes, yes... I know... they are a family of strong religious convictions. Whatever.
I am reminded of the joke about the priest in the row boat that keeps turning away help because he has faith that god will rescue him.... When he gets to the gates of heaven and bitches about not being rescued... God tells him, "I sent you that first police man, the national guard, a helicopter and three boy scouts... you kept turning them away!!"
Oh, and their sudden mastery of Spanish... telling the cabby "righto or lefto" had me laughing again at them... not "with"... "at!".

The Ugly
While the Weavers cool their jets at the yield... they take the time to diss out every other team and lament their poor standing among the other players.
(everybody hates them)
I'm just say'en... when you put five families together and one family is resounding disliked by the other four... there's usually a good reason, regardless of the editing.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
K... so everybody had to find a cab ride at the beginning to get to the bus terminal. This proved difficult and when the Bransons finally found one... they packed themselves in. Of course, one of the daughters scrunched over like she was right back at that kegger with the b-ball team, but she was 'scrunched over' on daddies lap. The look on his face... I dunno... I'm just still creeped out by him. (besides... they all have gas for life... so we're allowed to find fault with them!!!)

The Losers
"Come on mom... there's absolutely noooooo pressure...." (as the family amazingly does not explode in white hot flames of frustration)
"Where could this one be?" (as she searches)
I'm just say'en... this was clearly a chance to use some brains. Spreading the beans out over a huge volume of space did nothing to help the process of finding the red bean. Force them all through a narrow space... now that would have worked... but raking them out over half the parking lot took forever and then she had this huge space to search. GAH!! The Gaghan family lost as mom searched for that bean.

The Winners…
What? The Paolo family? Again? And they get the "Wild Ride" prize pack... selecting from a group of cool toys like a Jet Ski, an ATV, etc... Why did they win? Well they did well with the Banana thing while everyone else did the relics... but how the heck did Mom not keel over and die with the kids pushing her to run all the time? I was soooo yelling "die die die already' at the TV... (kinda horrid isn't it?)

With the Gaghan’s out... I'm just not sure I can stand to watch any more!!! hahaha...
So now I'm hoping for the Linz siblings to win... like there was ever any question about four strong sibs beating out families of oldsters and kids... sheesh!

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  • shiver

    You know that shiver you get through your shoulder blades and down your back when you feel cold. Maybe you’ve just left the restaurant and you’re…

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