Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 8 Update!!

Amazing Race 8 Update!!


I Come... I Show You The Way


It's all about... every possibly bit of crap-tastic luck washing over the Gaghan family as they push forward. The Linz brothers show some true colours and ... finally, someone screws those Branson Sorority Hot Tubs.!!



Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka “The show, in as few words as possible!")
Wake up in the twilight zone of pre-katrina New Orleans and take off for bunch up land!
~ airport time... (bunch up!) flying to Panama City, Panama.
~ wait for morning to take a boat to some island across the canal and find a slacker in a hammock (bunch up again waiting for the boat). The leader positions all switch as the front runners overshoot the dock and have to double back.
~ A bunji Fast Forward and a Detour... finding jazz band instruments or spotting fake birds.
~ Road Block at a baseball stadium trying to hit a pitch, and the leader board swaps again.
~ From B-ball to the Panama locks and visiting the "Phil-limin-ator!" (haha, I think a Linz boy coined that).
~ it's the first non-elimination round and the four blond Godlewski's, coming in last, get robbed by Phil and will have to figure out how to turn blond american boobage into cash on the streets of Panama. Hmmm... wonder how that will work out.

The Good
As much as I dislike the walking trailer hitch crew... The Weavers, they have been doing really well in the game overall. And they take a phenomenal amount of abuse from the other players...

When they get the road block clue... they have to navigate this bus from the canal to a baseball stadium. So some of them ask taxi drivers to lead the way... cha-ching... and the Branson girls ... ask this huge local woman the way and she says "I come... I show you the way...". The girls are all excited... although I don't think they show the lady their bums. Any ways... the "good" part was when they get somewhere and the local-helper-lady starts yelling about getting off the bus, and ... bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! (we were dying on the sofa laughing)... it turns out that the lady had basically just used them to drive her to work! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The Bad
What the hell is with the horrible luck the Gahgan’s are having? First, mom and dad have to do double the work at the physical challenges, they get the crummy boat and the crazy "I'm gonna go and pick someone else up" boat captain and then they have to suffer the humiliation of being beat by the Reject Family (Paolo's) at the Fast Forward, but then after they nail the Detour and catch up to the pack at the Road Block - with dad smacking the first pitch out!! - then their bus back to the Pit Stop gets blocked by some jack off stealing a pinball machine in an ally... gah!

The Gahgan’s ... always racing to catch up from behind... are running to get to the Fast Forward... and mom trips and face plants into the back of a mini van...Dude!!! I thought she was off’ed right there!! Fortunately she seemed to bounce (no pun intended) back.

The Ugly
Yeah... I'm right sick of listening to the Linz boys... if they're not making inappropriate jokes ("wohoo... I wanna check out the sixteen year old girls!!") or ragging on the Weavers... (very nasty, actually) and then the kicker when they start trying to psych out Beaver Weaver as he tries to hit the baseball. They can fall off a cliff any day ... mk?

The Exceptionally Pathetic
K, I like nothing about those flip charts, the Paolo family. The "happy mom" moment they manufactured was lovely and totally pathetic. Old rusty fire hydrants have superior intellects to the people in this family... let alone the amazing post like nature of mommy-arm-flaps.
And I wanted to kill them all dead when they got to the Fast Forward first. The Gaghan's were on their tails but missed by mere seconds... and then had to bail and race back to the Road Block. grrr!

The Losers
The Godlewski sisters... hung up at the base ball park, come in last but seemed to know it as they approached the pit stop... dressing in all their clothes against the hope that it's a non-elimination round. They appear on the mat with four bras on, shirts pants, shorts, thongs all over the place - bwaahaha... and they are indeed last... and it is a non-elim. Phil takes their packs and their cash. So... they'll have to scrounge up some money on the streets of Panama City. And I'm not thinking this will be hard, considering their combined breast volume. Bottom line: people give hand outs to old people, and breasts.

The Winners…
The idiot family came in first after bunji jumping off container ship loader cranes and they win a "travelocity trip to..." (wait for it) "Panama City, Panama" (bwaahahahaha... WFT???) suckers.

The Gaghan’s are so hugely underdog city... I want them to win... period.

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  • shiver

    You know that shiver you get through your shoulder blades and down your back when you feel cold. Maybe you’ve just left the restaurant and you’re…

  • selfie

    as I read and read and read about "Selfies"... I quietly say to myself... "um... yeah, tell me again how selfies are a new thing." lol. :)

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