Survivor XI: Guatemala!
I'll See Your ADD and Raise You Two Roid Rages
Where in... Judd morphs into this Fred Flintstone on Crack guy that shows every sign of being the guy they chuck, but no... it's Wilma. She gets a few parting shots. Oh sure, there's food and beer, but not until the two cave boys do the "who's got the worst breath" game. Two people go tonight but the best part is Jeff trying to understand how the complex mind of Mr. Flintstone works.
Survivor 11... in 11 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
BJ still can't speak english and Marg has a big X painted on her face, but Jeff wants em to play games so it's a head bashing good time for the boys, a nasty time for Amy, The Swollen Ankle Girl and Cindy, Dani and Steph get their shorts rammed up their bony ass cracks like all get out and the cameras drink it all in. 1-800-feed-her scrolls past when the pan pan along the bone-scape that is Dani. Steph and the Naks get to feast and Rafe gets to be head boy... (how ironic). Both teams pop a pimple and Judd couldn't be happier to see Marg squirt away ... while Brian gets squeeeeezed out. Judd's the guy you're afraid of... and Jeff's the guy that can't believe his eyes.
Nak Nak is still the land of the bugs, and Captain ADD (Judd) is focused on Marg as his personal demon. Back at Yash, Brandon just needs a corn cob pipe to turn into a background character from a Norman Rockwell painting but he's ticked that Blake was tossed. He asks BJ about that... and BJ speaks in his special language for a while ... then it's off to Immunity. Jeff has this big ol'game of jungle Earth Ball sorted out with a giant solid cork, cloth wrapped ball. The boys see things differently and begin playing "run and smash your head into the cork ball" with gusto. There's a beer soaked feast of burgers and dogs for the winners along with the chance to play a game for individual immunity... why? you might ask... Because Jeff needs a fix, so both tribes kick someone to the curb tonight. Head Smash Ball is a big hit but it includes a total roll over on Amy's already sprained ankle... but being made of pure testosterone in it's solid form, she soldiers on and even kicks some butt. It goes well for the Naks, so no whiney Stephanie moments, but there is this mano-y-mano thing with Jamie and BJ chest to chest, screaming like agitated orangutans. The winners embark on a race to collect these twine-tied bags of big scrabble pieces and the deal is to untie 'em and arrange them into the secret words. Judd, incapable of manual dexterity below the two inch mark cannot possibly untie the knots but he does see the words in Rafe’s game piece mess and then tells Rafe the answer. This snatched victory from Steph and Cindy who were neck and neck. Mr. Immunity gets a pass at the kick-out party and gets to watch while the Yash do their moment of nasty. They (Nak Naks) go on to enjoy their feast... Judd barters for more beer and ultimately drinks more than his fair share (a big no no in jungle land). He begins his flip out here. Tribal council is next with Jeff incredulous about Judd trading food for beer and then standing back while Big, White and Stupid runs his mouth like a buzz saw at Marg. When he gets mad at her for calling him ADD on their fist day in camp ... well you'd swear the whole thing was scripted by the ADD Association of America. No I mean, he was really calling her down and she was totally calling him out and Jeff? Jeff was agog at the whole thing. They all vote and send Ms Happiness (Marg) back to base camp, where she will no doubt have plenty of beer on hand. Next up is Team Yash with a big warm happy vibe... all sweet on each other and full of compliments. Rafe gets to watch the Jeff interrogation but is then told to mark a secret ballot with one name representing a Yash immunity. He can either screw with them by marking the name of someone he's sure they'll try to kick out or earn their long term trust by marking the name of someone that looks totally safe. They all vote to fry the screamingly effeminate Brian - a total shocker for him - and Rafe gave the get-out-of-jail-free card to Gary. See ya Brian.
Horrid Ambassador Of The South No 1 (Jamie).: "BJ hit a new nut level today... Us southern people are crazy and we know it."
HAOTSN2 (BJ): "ya'da con supliac par doddles der combligate... ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!"
Fred Flintstone (Judd): "I got no worries... and everybody can kiss my ass!" or better yet... "I wouldn't consider myself bad sportsmanship (sic)." Unbelievably stupid maybe... but bad sportsmanship?... are you done with that beer?
Jeff: "I've never seen anything like this... "
Most Memorable Moment
Would definitely be when Jeff looked at Judd asking him if he traded food for beer. If he was allowed to pepper spray the players... you know Judd would be lying on the ground screaming by now.
Burn Baby Burn
(aka "Tribal Council")
Marg totally started calling Judd a poor sport and pointing out the obvious but untouchable things about what a giant blow hard jar head he is. Judd totally takes offense and does his level best angry-bar-patron impersonation. Jeff steps back a bit and everybody else is totally cowed. If there was a zero-bully-tolerance deal on Survivor... Judd would be on a time out! :)
Brian receives a fist full of compliments from BJ and the team... then they kick his ass out. wow. Jeff totally calls them on how they "pumped him up making him feel secure and then cutting his throat..." Who's next?
Oh now I'm thinking it's gonna be Cindy. Especially if they (as I suspect) merge next week. Judd will become enemy number one and the southern bumpkins will hurt themselves trying to out-idiot one another.
~ How in hell did BJ smashing into that ball not ring his bell medical style?
~ One can only imagine just how bad it could get with Judd... maybe Jeff will include some hard liquor in one of the rewards. :D
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