Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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Another Survivor Update!

Day 25 (brought to you by the good folks at Doritos)

Ok lets just save the whole "woo-hoo the Witch is dead" thing for day 27 k? 'Cause day 25 was a peach for yours truly. There was so much to like about day 25 that I hardly know where to begin.

Lets start with the concept of "just deserts" and the poor poor pitiful Mr. Totally Useless, who is still on the show for no reason what so ever... However much fun it was to see Scari burn, I still cannot fathom how the hell Mr. TU, Mr. Nick-at-Nothing manages to avoid the swan dive off the cliffs of despair. "Just Desserts" were served - for me at least - watching him carp on about his 'swollen taste buds' and sore throat. "I can't hardly drink water..." HA! You're a lazy turd!

Now, lets move on to the reward challenge or "The Doritos' Cup", a playground obstacle course... the scene of the most rewarding moment so far on this show. My heart almost skipped a beat as I stopped, rewound and replayed the tape of Cheese Boi literally hauling Scari's sorry ass over the "wall" obstacle (by pulling her pants - wedgy style) and - the very best BEST part - throwing her down, body slam WWF style, flat on her back THUD. I mean, he prol'y didn't care one whit about the reward at that point - just having had the opportunity to beat up on her so completely must have made his day, week... heck, made his year!

So the whole trip… the Doritos' Cup was a fix… don't cha think? Our hapless members of Tribe Bare-Undies are asked to make boi-gurl, boi-gurl pairs for a game of some sort (the obstacle course) and while all the idiots immediately think about random selection, Scari is first out of the blocks with a hearty "bite that" wanting to pick her partner (Cheese boi - ahahahaha) to secure a win. She goes on to tell everyone else that she has no intention of being fair…. Umm… let's see. Your telling Farmer Joe, Mrs. Brady, and Coconuts (Lizzy, who should be squealing about seeing a spider in a dorm room somewhere), Miss Congeniality (Amber) - all of who would be right at home on an episode of Happy Days, and three other peeps that fricking hate you already that you don't wanna play fair. Obviously not a graduate of the Dale Carnegie school, don't ya think.

They randomly select partners… (yea right!) And we have Coconuts paired up with her buddy Farmer Joe - giving up all hope of this challenge, and other hobbled pairs (Sick Nick & Anorexic Mrs. Brady? … this is a physical challenge guys!) Anyways, the clincher was that Cheese Boi got saddled with Scari after all… to her obvious pleasure. Something I'm sure she tempered a bit following the whole body-slam thing.
And then comes the "honeymoon without the sex" reward… or at least that's how Scari referred to it. Cheese Boi quote: "That's how she's thinking… for me, nothing could be further from the truth." The kids get to go on a helicopter ride and feast at the Great Barrier Reef on yummi foods, and Champaign. When they got there you could just tell that Scari was ripping through stuff looking for the Chocolate Sauce. I seriously expected to see a segment dedicated to another pathetic attempt by Scari to jump Cheese Boi's bones. Given that there were various food groups represented at the reward, the requisite bag of Doritos got clear airtime. The topper? Scari goes for the booze before they go snorkeling… against Colby's recommendation. No worries mate… this occupied Her Trivialness whilst Cheese Boi collected little bits of the Reef as surprise gifties for the losers back at camp. That's what they call "trumping" your opponent. Scari returned empty handed. :D

Day 27 "Answer me these questions three… you great-big-loser you Scari" hahahaha…

So the immunity challenge was another playground game of "knock 'em off", except it was in the water… Stand here and there and try to knock each other down… Clearly designed by people fired from that show "American Gladiators" (remember that?). There was Tug-the-roap, Wiggle-the-plank, and Tug-the-rope again 'cept on a wiggly platform.

It got kinda cliché with obvious strengths paying off for Cheese Boi, Farmer Joe, and Nick, but in the end, surprise surprise… the producers, true to form, ensure that the obvious choice for expulsion (Nick, Mr. TU) gets a by-your-leave for the night. Nick practically praised god for his good luck… and the look on Roger and Elizabeth's faces was way way telling. She looked 'bout ready to break into tears…

Man, are these human-toys-of-CBS ever getting thin! They all - 'specially Tina - look like they're about to keel right over and die.

Us lemmings, continuing to be at the total-disposal of the producers, were lead to believe it was gonna be a no-brainer that Coconuts was about to become a Baby-Ruth bar… Heck, we even get to see Cheese Boi reminding us that he actually is unimaginably daft wanting to stick to some stupid-ass plan about nailing the KU's. How stupid is that? Chef Pierre wanted so bad to get in his face with "what? What? What!!!!! We can get rid of mouth girl! Lets go!"

Then at the Council of Dump, the cliffs of despair are looking hungry for some coconut, we are treated to Scari totally groveling in front of the troops… At that point Z, my better half, started saying that something must be up. Always insightful… she nailed it. Scari got votes from Cheese Boi, Mrs. Brady, and Chef Pierre (of course!) leaving only Amber - who by the way was looking remarkably cute tonight… - and Scari to follow the obviously defunct plan of ousting Coconuts. We got a great quote from Farmer Joe: "Oh baby, look out if she gets up in a bad mood." - as he puts a vote for Scari in the Jar of See-ya!.

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