Survivor XI: Guatemala!
The Quidditch Cup
Where in... we get treated to this years version of the blind fold game, and... and remember when the camp councilor explained why the rule was One Person On Trampoline At A Time.. yeah, well Jeff was off at Dom school that day.
Survivor 11... in 11 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Brian, at Camp Yash, is practically vibrating with his gayness... and Rafe is still eating bugs, Lydia is slaving like Slavic au pear in a British household. But they got nothing on the Naks with their friendly neighborhood Howler Monkey screaming his head off in the trees directly over their camp. The zoo keeper is practically creaming herself with ‘smartypantness". They play the Blindfold Game for blankets and rope, and while you'd think having the same physical mass as a strand of twine would make Danni a hard target ... no dice baby... three bonks in the head for her and the Naks still walk away with the prize. Everybody is hungry but the most fun is watching ungrateful fucks bitching about Hello Nurse at camp Howler. Immunity is a traditional Guatemalan game of smash-into-each-other-on-a-net and get the quaffel through the hoops. Once again, stick girl pulls off some decent athleticism and Brianna comes pretty darn close to being beaten up by her own team. The Yash are back to council and Miss Useless (unless the game is "who has the most demonic sneer?") gets her beady little eyes sent home.
It's day seven and over at camp Yash, Brian is all a flutter. He may not actually be gay... he could turn out to just be a fag, but either way, Brian – the Ivy League white-bag-of-intensity is acting like he'd be fine wearing pink hot pants, a freddy mercury muscle shirt and rushing about with a feather duster. He's decided that Lydia (fish monger) is his new best friend, so they get together to trash Useless Brianna, who seems to have the social skills of Barbara Bush. Meanwhile back at the farm... er... at Nak Nak Land they are putting up with the constant braying and screeching of an animal that is sadly having trouble finding it's own kind. However Cindy does try and educate the other Naks about that Howler Monkey in the trees overhead. It's also making a god awful noise that threatens to unnerve Judd completely. Everybody gets together for a Reward game based on the old stand-by of "one person is the yeller and everyone else is blindfolded collecting stuff". This time, for fun, Jeff has ‘em tied together in pairs and the "stuff" they are getting is big long poles bwaahahahaha... whack, bonk, smack, bonk... whack. After three solid head shots to Danni, she says "Next time you pick up a pole, tell me so I can duck!". The project is to collect everything, then put it all together building this tent, shelter thing. Team Yash, with The Top Secret Ex-NFL QB doing all the screaming, does great... way ahead... but then comes building time. The Naks seem a tad bit more spatially adroit, so despite being behind in the blind folded segment, they pull ahead and race to a win. To quote Stephany-the-yummi, "It was just like a big cluster... mess." (and I was sooo sure she'd say fuck!). It's hot in Guatemala, like 114, so everybody is a bit whiney. The Naks risk it all and get in crock infested water for a cool-down.... and Bobby Jon is working overtime at being a dick head, complaining about shit, and trying desperately to have any athletic ability but at least he's not putting dirt on his corn to get a different flavour. The Naks make ... a useless tent out of their Reward winnings, (versus something to block mother nature who will surely visit soon). After serving every guy in camp like their own personal Nurse, those same guys bitch out on Marg for offering up opinions on how to work with the tent building exercise. She's totally together... while the boys are... complete morons. This will end badly. Then comes Immunity. This is quidditch ... without the flying brooms. There's a big quaffel of a cocoanut, and hoops to throw it through at each end of a court. The "court" is a big supported fish net. So three on three action is all about trying not to bonk into each other too hard. Amy (Team Yash) manages to sprain her ankle in the first five seconds... and Brianna's version of playing is to stand by a post and stare intensely at the ball. Her team mates were yelling themselves horse at her. Stephy starts to despair as the Naks fight their way to yet another win. Besides watching Amy spit out a big honking loogie, the game was good sport. Back at Camp we get to see psycho boy (Jamie) commenting on his taste in women and then it's back to the pit of aggravation (council) and Jeff calls them all on their attitudes. "Steph... you must be frustrated?" "Amy, think your screwed with that ankle?" "Brianna... do you know your fucked?" (ok, so I paraphrased!!)... and Brianna is voted out!
Rafe "Even throwing dirt on the corn is good... because it makes it taste different!" ... This from the guy that decides to EAT TERMITES. Ick!!
"Nobody's gonna tell me what to do..." (Judd)
"Don't you tell a grown man what to do..." (BJ).
Ok... so what I'm hearing is... petulant children need a good whipping!!!!
Jamie tends to have this dark, Damien Omen II thing going on when he gets a sound bite... "I like ‘em crazy and pretty" kinda sums this boy up, don't ya think?
Most Memorable Moment
Had to be watching Danni getting whacked in the head over and over during the Reward game. :D
Burn Baby Burn
(aka "Tribal Council")
Lydia is expecting to go again... she's in a constant state of panic... meanwhile, everyone votes to fry Brianna (the useless fluffer). Jeff takes the time to make them all feel uncomfortable and asks all the mean questions... Jeff points out, after they chuck Brianna, that playing the game based solely on physical capabilities will backfire... and so, I'm expecting next weeks Reward game to be this Put Makeup On Dead Howler Monkey thing.
Danni may surprise everyone with her combined athletic ability and mental prowess... Sadly, I can't past her looking like she needs food aid, but that's my problem I suppose. :)
~ does anyone know if Jeff is still dating the girl from survivor 9 ??? was it 9?
~ Bobby Jon is surprisingly USELESS ...
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