Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XI Update!!

Survivor XI: Guatemala!

The Mud Bowl!

Where in... Jeff obviously gets his way.
Mark: "you want to what?"
Jeff: "Look... they're all still healthy... with a little meat on them... well, except for that Danni stick."
Mark: "But mud? wont that be a bit obvious?"
Jeff: "What? Throw in some ropes, make 'em struggle... no wait, make it so they can actually attack one another. Everyone will be fine..."
Mark: "... and you'll get to feed that twisted little mind of yours..."
Jeff: "Hey... fifteen obedient subs? A giant mud bowl... Dude... this is heaven and you know it."
Mark: "... fine."

Survivor 11... in 11 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
The Naks live at Camp Bummed while Team yash yucks it up at Camp Happy. The sick guys' still sick but Hot Lips is taking care of him. This, of course, leads to bitchiness over Blake’s lazy ass, but he pulls his weight at a reward game that has Rafe looking like ass, Danni like death and the Naks like the winners. Everybody is fishing and foraging but they end up eating bait and bugs. Immunity looks a bit like a porn movie with mud, ropes and skin but Brian cant beat the stick girl (Danni) so Judd drags the Naks to victory here as well. Now Yash has to toast a player and the editing points to Lydia so that must mean it's somebody else... The only other name on the table is Miss non-helpful at camp, so Morgan, the magicians assistant, "disappears" in a puff of votes.

The Details
Night three and the returning... demoralized, Nak Naks find their camp, then piss and moan for a bit. Hot Lips (nurse Margie) is still servicing young swarthy and barfy Blake, and Judd is a getting a little tired of the drama. Team Yash, over in Happy Land, are all fun and friendly together, building, cooking, working, licking Steph’s toes... while over at Nak, Farmer Brandon wants Blake to "man up". But all is not as it seems and it only takes my little finger to blow you away...... er... one mistake. In Yash's case, the mistake was not dropping and mortally wounding Rafe during child birth. Reward is all about the athletes... running over a net, climbing under a rope-link dome, retrieving a package and swimming. All difficult, but - for yon pussy Rafe - the real hurdle was climbing the three step ladder out of the water. A 1-800 phone number keeps popping on-screen when ever Danni - who is currently channeling an Auschwitz survivor - comes on screen and shows us her ribs and the outlines of her internal organs. This massively hard challenge ends in a completely neck and neck race but Team Yash is going home empty handed. The Naks get fishing gear... which they use to catch what? like three minnows. However, food is food and the Yash are fricking hungry... So hungry that they bust open an ant colony and Rafe proceeds to chow down. Lydia, no slouch, makes a fish trap on the beech and catches ten little fishy minnows... Meanwhile, Judd is still bumm'en over in Camp Downer, with the whole "Blake does Zip, but moan and sleep" vibe. Sick or not, Immunity is next and this one has Dom Jeff writen all over it. It's a tribal tug of war though a vast mud field. Players may "elect to stop pulling and try to stop the opposing team from pulling" ... aka ... "attack". Fuzzy video covers naked ass cheeks within seconds, Brian attacks Danni, they brawl, and both teams stalemate. Although Danni takes a moment to tell Brian that Gary is an ex NFL QB - something he ridiculously wanted to hide. Stalemate leads to one on one challenges and Judd is unstoppable. Team Yash is heading to council. It plays out this way... Jamie campaigns to dump Steph. She hooks with Amy, Gary and Doesn't-Do-Ladders Rafe against Lydia, and then Brian turns 'em all to Morgan... She's good at challenges... and small... but Lydia gets food and actually works at camp. Morgan had no clue... and she fried.

Fav Quote
"They have a nice little zing to them..." comments Rafe as he eats some ants.... Oh puke.

Most Memorable Moment
and to keep the Rafe theme going... That flipping moron can't climb a three rung rope ladder. If he hadn't blown such horrible chunks at being physical, Yash would have walked with Reward. However, laughing at him as he tried to climb that ladder was kinda worth it.

Burn Baby Burn
(aka "Tribal Council")

So Steph is back at council... but thanks to an alliance of sorts with Gary the "outted QB", Amy and Rafe, she's not up on the block. For some obscure reason, nobody talked about frying Rafe’s useless ass but focused on Morgan and Lydia. Lydia should be pissed. And Morgan? Had absolutely no idea she was going home. She's even talking about how honest everyone is while Jeff is doing the pre-vote grilling.

The winner...
Right now? nobody sticks out.

Two Things...
~ No really... why wasn't anyone talking about kicking Rafe to the curb? blech.
~ I'm not a fisherman by any stretch... but shouldn't they be putting those little fish they're catching with the worms, back on the hook in hopes of landing a larger fish??

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