Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor 11 Update!!!

Survivor 11 Guatemala!

No Soup For You... Now GO!

Where in... season eleven (The White Season) of Survivor kicks off with a wee twist and a better-than-average amount of suffering. The boys are dropping like flies and the nurse is picking them up again... If their goal was to impress us with the notion that this will be a tougher Survivor than that last ten seasons... then SCORE... I BELIEVE... no lets get down to business.

Survivor 11... in 11 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Two teams of eight, already selected meet at a Mayan ruin so they can meet their helpers... Bobby Jon and Stephanie from Survivor Palau...Clearly Endemol Entertainment received my letters. :D :D Two teams, silly names, Bj and Steph, and Dom Jeff kicks ‘em all in the ass, sending them on an eleven mile race – with luggage – to find the "better camp". First team there gets the camp and flint, second place... suffers. All the boys try to be impressive... get dehydrated, cramp and ultimately end up puking up last years Christmas dinner. No really, I thought they were gonna die. Steph and BJ are both ripe for a fall from the pedestals their reputations have built for them. Blake, model slash loser, loses a huge battle ... with a thorn bush (and yes, it was nasty as hell). Rafe, the girl wedged into a boys body and Brandon – Farmer Bob – provide running commentary (sound editing friendly?). They stay neck and neck across the Guatemalan terrain but Nakum aka The Nak Naks, win with Bobby Jon down puking, Judd heaving huge, Jim (300 year old dude) is dehydrated and dying. Meanwhile, the losers, Team Yash, comes in close behind but is told by Jeff to get out – and now! So they have to struggle a bit but they pull it together... and none of them is puking!! They wake up to an immunity game – again with the physical challenge – to paddle out, get torch, paddle back, haul boat on a log roll and when the boat gets to "X" ... light the fire with that torch and dance around. Steph (Y) gets her foot squashed, Margaret (N) totally beaned by a log, Danni (N) smashed foot, Cindy’s (Y) foot gets stuck under a log... That’s a lot of ouch!! But they struggle through and Team Yash wins it... marking the first time that Steph has played Survivor and not had to go to Tribal Council. (hahahaha). Jim, old dude on the Nak Naks... fucks his arm up (pulled muscle?) and when the old and weak get hurt... you chuck ‘em to the lions... and at council... that’s just what they did.

Fav Quote
Jeff, looks at the losers at the end of the 11 mile race and tells them to not get comfortable, "take your stuff and go." With pretty much the same voice he’d say ... ‘zip up that face mask and wait for me...’.

Brandon, current master-of-the-sound-bite: "The last time I hiked eleven miles was um... never." That was as a seriously grueling race!! When his team is close to the finish line (paddling into a silt laden shore) .. .Judd jumps off the boat and gets totally wedged in the silt... all of which prompts Brandon to comment "he’s had a premature evacuation." haha

Most Memorable Moment
I gotta say... Bobby Jon, lying on his back, dehydrated, cramped from the wet and cold, with his eyes rolling back in his head... looked a lot like someone about to die. Memorable!

Team Yash
Amy, Brian, Brianna, Gary, Jamie, Lydia, Morgan, Rafe and Steph...
Dudes got the crummy camp... basically some Mayan pots and stuff and a bare spot in the wilderness. Make a lean-too and kick back. Steph is mighty happy that they are not a team of slack ass losers... contrasting her previous experience. :D :D They (team yash) win Immunity so they’re off the radar...

The Nak Naks
Blake, BJ, Brandon, Brooke, Cindy, Danni, Jim, Judd, and Margaret...
These guys have Nurse Marg... and without her... they are all just so much dead white meat. Their camp is an actual Mayan ruin... with the pots and stuff... We’ll see how they do on the setup but for now... it’s all about the boys being either sick or exhausted... Mind you, they carried 35 lbs of supplies a piece across jungle terrain on an eleven mile race... (wow!).

Burn Baby Burn
(aka "Tribal Council")

Finally!!! A tribal council without Steph.. (and yes, the game is gonna be all about steph...get used to it... she’s hot, she’s tough and I want to each fruit salad off her tummy!) The Nak Naks show up and it’s really not a big surprise that they kick out the guy that (no really) looks like a dead person. "Hey... cool... a 63 year old man... lets give him a bag of bananas and race his depends clad ass through 11 miles of cold, wet, jungle. That was an obvious first out.

The winner...
A girl. That’s all I got... and considering the performance of the overachievers (boys) ... this shouldn’t be a stretch.

Two Things...
~ K... I’m sick of Rafe already and ... it’s only been one show!!!
~ there’s some serious eye candy here... but it’ll take a while before they show that off. J

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