Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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Survivor Update!!!!

Survivor 11 - Guatemala

Here we go again!!!!

Go to [:: Survivor Maps :: ] to see where this is all going to take place!

Then we can start getting ready for the festival of human torture and emotional suffering that we have become so fond of....

Camp Yaxha and Camp Nakum (to be renamed just as soon as we see who is where...) will be the host base camps for a new gang of sixteen people that worked hard... damned hard!!! for the chance to be punished, abused, ridiculed and have really bright white teeth on national television.

I aim to deliver on the "abused and ridiculed" part of that deal and you'll find my efforts ... right here... every week.

The "survivors" are playing in Guatemala... ancient home to the Mayan empire and, despite it's lush green environment, is a harsh and unforgiving part of the world - sounds perfect! Of course, with Dom Jeff there handing out torture ... it can only get better

So lets have a quick look at who will be playing this season?
~ and before you say it... let me say... "what??? no token black guy? no asians?" Wait... are we supposed to pick out a melatto or two??

AmyPolice Sergeant... 39 years old and all cookies and masturbating over Tom Cruise. She looks like a female fun bobby. :)

Blake 24, Real Estate Agent "slash" model... uh oh... "slash model" (shouts BEND AND SNAP!!)

Brandon, 22, Farmer !! phew... a farmer. Either leaves first or wins.

Brian, 22, Ivy League Student (fav movie: zoolander) Hmm... I wonder if he'll do "blue steel" for Blake?

Brianna, 21, sales / make-up artist... yeah, right... how about "stands around at JC Penny in a white lab coat? She lists Britney Spears as an Actress!! We're done here.

Brooke, 26, law student, Loves computer card games... so I'm guessing her boyfriend is a computer nerd that plays WoW all the time...

Cindy, 31 ZOOOOOKEEPER!! Dude!!! She is a zookeeper... "ah the guatemalan bush monkey... I recognize the feces... "

Danni, 30, Sports Radio Talk Show Host, and collagen tester. She'll have the twenty-something boys dangling off her pinky in 24 hours.

Gary ... The Daddy. 47 years old and an ex-nfl quarterback... When he asks everyone to "take a knee" I'm going to throw up.

Jamie, 24, Water Ski Instructor... or as my dad would say... a slacker. (neck, thigh, same size... )

Jim, The 300 year old Retired Fire Captain and depends customer...

Judd Is 35, likes to play donkey kong and is a professional Doorman. and has said "dude... where's my car?" with feeling!!!!

Lydia She's 42 and lists her profession as "FISHMONGER" ... fishmonger? Fishmonger?

Margaret 43, and she's a Family Nurse. Which is significantly more useful than a Fetish Nurse but maybe not as much fun at a party...

Morgan!!! Morgan is 21 and is a Magicians Assistant... So I'm willing to bet she has a great ass. :)

Rafe (RAFE???) 22, Ivy League Student... and will be having several fist fights with Brian, the other Ivy Leaguer.

There will be twists and there will be empty threats (like last time: no food... until they give them a whole bunch of food) but mostly there will be human stereotypes pushed around by that sadist Jeff. Yuppers... I'm happy. :)

* please be reminded... I love writing these...I do it for fun... and I don't much care if it hurts your feelings when I diss these guys, their religions, their sexuality, hair style, accents, ass size, etc... just so we're on the same page.

** pps... what are the active Survivor Communities here in Lj?

I will be reposting Survivor Updates in survivorjunkies, survivor11 and _survivor11 unless the moderators of those communities give me a hassel. :)

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