Big Brother 6 Update!!
Oh look, there's a line behind us...
Where in... everybody runs up the edge... and jumps off. It's party time at the mouse maze and these is some piss'en mice yo! If BB lobed in a few gloks you know they'd be busten caps left and right... bwaahahaha... No seriously, it's time – apparently – for a new strategy... and that would be... flip out non-stop until they crack up. Works for me. :D
Loser say what?
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
"Hi I'm Julie... I like to think of myself as something like a journalist... except I really like having this hair hanging in my face, so I can't get a real job..." gah!!! Never-the-less, the fun is in the watching, and Julie let's us do lots of it. Remember Jennifer and her complete and total burn of Kaysar? It's like... when you hear the words "you are totally safe, I swear on my life..." it's time to pack your bags... period. So it's eviction night but why hurry to that when we can look back over the last few days in the crazy people house. Kaysar, taking the prize for receiving the biggest burn ever, is quite the bummed out Iraqi. "I'd blow up your house... if I could reassemble my shattered ego!" He calls out Jennifer on her exceptionally in-your-face back stab and she's all about admitting it... game on brown boy!. But then Howie's new strategy kicks into full gear. That would be the "make April cry" strategy. He starts giving her shit... calling her "busto" for Busty Gold Digger (or something) and insulting her fat husband, her dog, pepperoni ("Pizza anyone?")... all the while Janelle is stone face with perfect bright slut red lips staring at April across the table... bwaahahaha... Cut to diary room and we've got what appears to be Pipi Longstocking after three years as a crack whore, bawling her eyes out. But she recovers as Janelle kicks in with the same shit on Beau. She's in his face with lovely, classy stuff like "you suck older men for money" and "whore", while her tears into her with "you have polyester hair" (???????????????????????– can you spell pussy?) He leans into her and she pushes him back and it gets highly weird with the girl that tries to look like Bimbo Barbie in a fist-a-cuffs with the gingerbread man. "Not my bum drop buttons!!!" The kids pull Hansel and Gretel apart and then we see Ivette trying to hold their crumbling alliance together. BB does a little time shifting to get through the night. They don't show Beau crying like a little girl on Jen's bed... or Beau barfing his guts out on her pillow (bwaahaha). Then it's morning... and time for Howie to start yelling about Busto again... and she's saying she's immune right up until we cut to Pipi on the HoH bed gasping for breath between sobs... bwaahahaha. Oh my god I thought I was gonna wet my pants watching this shit... Hair-In-Her-Face girl interviews Jennifer, who manages to sound perfectly reasonable in her game play, and then it's time to evict Kaysar (can someone explain why it was a unanimous vote?) and he has his second interview in the loser lounge – where he looked mightily stoned, btw. It's HoH game time... or in this case Ho game time... Janelle handily wins a who did what in the competitions trivia game and she's called into the diary room pronto-veto. I was hoping they were gonna issue her a hand gun, but alas, they only explained that she must immediately pick two noms and in a few minutes go and let ‘em know. It's double eviction week at the BB house or as they like to call it on the production floor, it's the "Basketball starts when? Shit we gotta hurry this show up" week. Janelle is all about the big grin at this prospect and goes on to gleefully nominate Jennifer and Maggot, then hug Howie and say (on national tv) "Bye Bye bitches!!" and laugh.
Meanwhile... James is wondering around in the background trying not to burst into tears of laughter.
Janelle: "fucking whore..." Beau: "polyester hair"
This is how weird people fight.
Janelle: (walking ...er strutting, along the hall) "Rachel... you're so beautiful... Maggy? You're such a bitch."
Howie: "Anyone up for Pepperoni Pizza?" (gahhhhahahahaha... bwaahahaha!)
Most Memorable Moment
Despite all the excellent shit going down here... I gotta say, the switch from Kaysar in the Diary room at the beginning of the show to James and seeing James just killing himself laughing in the DR was flipping priceless.
I, for one, think Jennifer played a perfect game of cat and mouse with Kaysar. She wins, he loses and that's the way the BB cookie crumbles. However, I also think Beau is a useless lump of pooh, and seeing Janelle fight him was fabulous... Howie admits clearly that his goal is to destabilize the opposition so that when game time comes they will be so demoralized that they choke! It worked... considering Janelle is the new Ho. But man... imagine Aprils husband watching this episode... (let alone watching the live feeds as it all went down ... and you know he was doing just that!!!)
"Trust me"... the first words your enemy will whisper in your ear. Kaysar took his finger off the button and that's that. Sucka. And nominations??? Why did she put Maggie up? She should have put up either Beau or Ivette to ensure that one of the teams gets broken. No
Did you watch James last night... holy fricking horse-shoes batman.
~ I guess it's telling that my favorite episode of the show (this one) is the one with most name calling and cruel punishments... haha...
~ no really ... didn't you just laugh when the cut to Pipi on the bed bawling she was just saying to him that he couldn't get to her again? Hahaha...
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