Big Brother 6 Update!!
Where in... CBS completes their audience survey and decides to reveal the secret pairings, girls boobs jiggle, freakishly white teeth shine, the first house-mat gets booted to the loser lounge and Julie stumbles along trying to remember all 50 of the words she gets to say.
Offer: $50.00 to the first person that can cut off that fricking lock of hair that dangles into Julie's right eye!!!
Loser say what?
(aka “The show in exactly 100 words”)
Julie, resplendent in her calf length beech pants and head twitch, pops in on the house-mats in time to see Mike tell Jenny her boob is slipping out of her square inch of bikini top, (then he fixes it...) and Mini-Vin goes all Machiavelli with his dog, Bert (see below) about not telling Mike to cool it with the ten second count down to getting in Jenny's pants... So, of course, Bert tells Mike, who tells Mini-Vin and presto... we're officially all in grade ten again. Then Erni starts jumping back and forth over Mini-Vin saying "what we gonna do today Spike?". Back to Julie and her drives-me-crazy hair-bit while she again stumbles in her lines as she goes for the big reveal of the secret pairings. Evidently, James and Sarah are, in fact, the stupidest humans on the face of the planet, as a secretly-dating-couple begin life in Ho-Bag central. Unable to resist a chance to mess with the Iraqi guy, Julie reads the votes and gives Bert a scare then drags Chin Girl (Ashlea) to the couch in the loser lounge. After the horsy cries a bit over her fellow skank monkey's goodbye video message, we go back to watch Mini-Vin complete his power quest by snagging the title Lord God Little Bald Guy. How long will it take him to find the hidden spy screen?
James (about he and Sarah): "Well we've already used the L Word together..." So...? What? Now you're sure she's not a lesbian? er... lesbonic?
Jenny (on Ashlea*): "She's to egocentrical."
Howie (who else?), considers his voting options... "lets see... eye candy or a guy who doesn't shave his back?"
Julie: "By a vote of 9 to 2... (pause) ... Kaysar? (pause)... you are safe, Ashlea you are evicted from the Big Brother house...". (and was he mouthing... "I blow up your house bitch!"???)
* I wish...
Most Memorable Moment
Had to be the whole boob thing with Mike. He and Jenny are lying side by side and he reaches over, saying "um, your boob is popping out..." and plucks the fabric of her bikini top to stretch it over her boobie a bit more... she says "thanks" and he simultaneously thinks "cool... I'm gett'en some" and says "naw... i was just coping a feel." If the video was zoomed in any closer we could have counted Mikes nose hairs...
Beau and Ivette
Mike and Kaysar
Maggie and Eric
Sarah and James
April and Jennifer
Janelle and Ashlea
Howie and Rachel
Ok... I gotta say... so far, this game is Tactic Free!! The alliances are for shit, and Eric is a crazy person. Half the pairs are gonna be outted and Sarah will eventually go insane and kill one of the girls when they, yet again, puts a bikini clad ass in James's face and asks him to check her tan line. Or will she just get mad, get drunk, and try to sit on Howie’s face? Stay tuned! sheesh.
Sarah and James... a loving couple (she's absolutely mad for him) comes into the BB house with a bunch of hot bod boys and a gang of girls unencumbered with anything close to moral reserve, and have to pretend they've only just met? Jenny is already acting jealous, clingy and needy. They are totally toast!!
k... April is iffy now. She is Jenny's pal and sorority sister and while she may be a totally together social butterfly that knows how to not give it away... she's liking Eric and that's gotta hurt... but I'll hold on to her for another week and see what's what. :D
~ So... what's with Rachel... is she gay or not? Who knows this stuff? Tell me.
~ Two more shows and Ivette gets a hand towel shoved in her mouth. Bets?
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