Big Brother 6 Update!!
If Disney Cast Porn Stars...
Where in... we are shown the degree to which the brainiacs at CBS BB casting appear to have lost anything resembling "original thought". It's basically the same pretty, white, dentally abnormal crew they had last year... Hell, Julie "The Space Alien" made her series inaugural debut in another silver suit. Oh, they got a black guy ... and (ta da!) he's a flamer. But wait... what's this? Captain Uni-Brow, The Lone Muslim... AND he's Iraqi. You know... an average american dude to toss in with the Disney Cast of Young Dumb And Full Of Cum. No manipulation there. Would you like a drink? This year's catch is "Secrets" with every house-mat actually paired in real life by some thread to another house-mat, and each pair thinks they're the only ones... you know... hard-body white folk with perfect teeth thinking they're special.
Loser say what?
(aka "The show in exactly 150 words")
Again with the silver suit, Julie sends three groups of tanned, mostly white, toothy bags of twenty-something boobs and biceps into a house with one big bedroom. You expect Peter Laurie to step on screen every time they give a close up of "Kaysar The Iraqi", and the little fireman appears ready to explode and the first slammed door. They display their bodies and throw nuts at holes until one team is stuck to the roof of its mouth eating pb&j all week and Rachel "It’s nothing personal" is Head Chic with the gonzo bedroom. It's all about Secrets but it's so secret the house-mats don't even know, so they polarize and reform alliances until keys are being pulled from the giant nomination tank. Ashlea of the giant chin, bursts into crocodile tears, and Uni-Brow looks like he's about to say "Evict me and I blow up your fricking house."
"Are those space pants... 'cuz your ass is outta this world!"
No really... somebody said that...!!! Actually, it was Howie, who appears to be taking a break from auditioning for non-speaking roles in porno land.
Most Memorable Moment
Eric... the three foot tall bald fire fighter who looks sorta like Vin Diesel, hence forth known as Mini-Vin, is wound just a little toight for this game gets a couple of memorable video moments with his little eyes darting from side to side talking about who to trust... Of course, he pairs off with Uni-Brow... the other ball of human nerve endings. Then Mini-Vin say's... "I can't trust Boo, he's one of the girls." bwaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Tactics? what tactics...? "You Rachel... you be head of household... sucka! Oh and don't evict us this week if we let you be the queen bee!" And that's about it.
And enough with the HOH saying "It’s nothing personal" when they nominate... holy crap... how much more personal can it possibly be?
Ok, so who’s with who? I’m sure the live feeds and message boards know... but the audience doesn’t yet. (me either). Ashlea and Rachel both have no fav music, like lucky charms and snickers bars... So they must be lesbian lovers...
But who the heck came in with Uni-Brow and Mini-Vin?
April, the skinny Phoebe from Friends.
(but that’s just because I wanted to make the Phoebe reference...)
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