Like a personal sense of fulfillment?
I mean... I stopped trying to find that in my work... years ago!!!
I've sort of always known that you can't find fulfillment in someone
else... it has to be something within you.
When I realized being a parent was what I wanted to do...
it got easy to stop stressing about "ambition".
Then the writing came... and I don't profess to be so shit hot at
writing... (poetry, rants, discourse, entertainment, etc....) but
you cannot imagine how much enjoyment I get out of it...
Money... is a big issue and most of the ambition stress was due to
the lack of it... but we managed to make it through the years
before the children were both in full time day school.
Our agreement was that suzanne would be a stay-at-home-mom
up until the kids were in full time day school. So now, with two
incomes, we're doing well enough to contribute to retirement
savings, take small vacations, and save for the kids education.
So... that's enough.
I'd love to be able to afford the toys I dream about... but doing
what I would have to do to be able to reach for that... would
dramatically reduce the quality of my life... and that feeling that
"fulfillment" thing would be like trying to hold smoke.
Don't wait till you're half dead to realize that ... it's more fun
if you live for fun... for personal enjoyment instead of living
to fulfill someone else agenda.
Nobody will come to your almost dead body and give you a prize
for living unhappy.
Does that mean "happy at the expense of others?"
Of course not. Don't be foolish.
I just mean... find your "thing" and do it.
It may take you thirty five years to find your "thing",
but you will... and when it comes along... don't let it slip away.