Amazing Race 7 Update!!
London Calling
It's all about... the god damned horseshoe factory in Robs ass settling their labor dispute and getting right back into business! It's off to the land of people speaking english for the last eight racers... and we get to watch what must be the absolute last word on Kelly’s value system as she begs an airline ticket attendant for a quick application of her lip stick... ewwwwwwwww!
Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
Get back across the sea... and find Abby Road.
They all clue it to the airport and while the absolute dough heads, team black and team old, sit on their asses feeling like their shit don't stink, Ramber is beating the bushes to find a better flight. They do. Team Idiot (Ron and Kelly) beg their way into play and follow Ramber. Oh joy. With Ron's xenophobia getting head from all the english voices and Ramber parlaying their celebrity into yet another slave assistant, they chug along to clue through the "London Eye" (big ass Ferris Wheel that must be the apple of every terrorist eye from Belfast to Baghdad) then onward to the Detour. It's a Brains vs Brawn thing and with stunning irony, Ramber goes for Brains and makes it... Martin, their slave boy, makes this possible. Ron and Kelly get through Brains too... following clues to Sherlock Holmes fictional address on Baker Street. The other guys get to London and end up at Brawn, moving row boats down a long haul... and dude...Meri and Gretchen... geezus. Now they're off to the "Millennium Dome" to a Yield (last in game - and Rob yields Ron... with little actual impact) and a Road Block. Kelly, Meri, Rob, and Joyce (bwaaahahahahaha) all drive these honking big double decker buses through a pylon course and they can't hit any... so they end up stressing through do-over after do-over. From there it's a trip to Potters Field Park and the checkpoint. Ramber fricking scores a home theater in first place, while Meredith and Gretchen pull in last and get sent home.
The Good
A notebook with Turkish phrases, i.e. showing a cab driver "Go faster"!!!! It's not fair when he does stuff that makes me like him... Then he snags "Martin" and has him race along with them to solve Detour clues. The guy has the game by the short 'n curlies.
The Bad
Uchen and Joyce sitting down at the airport and letting Ramber find an earlier flight was just bad! When someone tells them to cross town on a train and they don't think subway, so go to an actually railway station... well, that was really baaad. But Uchen and his "Morning... might you summon a cab for us?" was just taking the flipping cake. Dude kept feigning a marginally horrible snooty brit accent (versus a normal brit accent) ... gah!
The Ugly
Ugly? Well... Kelly, for one. Just say'en...
The Exceptionally Pathetic
Rob and Amber win a fucking Home Theater system for coming in first? WTF????? They should have to let Uchen and Joyce beat them up a bit! How amazingly unfair is this?
The Losers
Meredith and Gretchen totally rocked for a couple of old, relatively insane, white folks. They did great in the game and gave us an endless stream of "Oh God" sound bites that always made me smile. :)
The Winners...
Shut up!
I hope Uchen and Joyce win the money!!! I mean... she shaved her head man!
Next time, we get Ron and his ugly little opossum cry and argue, Uchen gets a flat and (ding ding ding) Rob gets pulled over by a cop!!! (wahoooo!)
[ click the banner below to link with the Amazing Race section of my web site ]