Survivor X : Palau
Tears, Beer and Backstabbing
Wherein... the battle of the tube tops versus the testosterone never actually materializes although Jeff does sell them overpriced snacks and envelopes stuffed with love. Everybody has a good cry and then the shit hits the fan as little miss swing vote opens her pie hole and spews out enough crap to make good plans go bad... What exactly is it with the people that end up on this show? Do they have to be missing the "intelligence" gene or something?
Survive This!
(the show in as few words as possible!)
It's day 27 on the island and the editors put on a good show of the moments that make plot twists and alliance sneakiness seem plausible, despite Greg's now standard lines about how Stephanie has to go to ensure the purity of the Koror tribe. Me-thinks his island bigotry has clouded his judgment or he's generally stupid because three days from now is gonna come quick and with Stephanie gone he's gonna be hard pressed to maintain the purity of squat. The girls, all with their hair buffs squeaked down over their malnourished torsos, sit about and plot about girl power and the need to rid themselves of Tom. The Reward game is the de'rigeur Food Auction with a few letters from home thrown in for good measure. Jeff gets an up-close whiff of Ian... and just about shrivels up from the smell. The letters come out, there's many tears and then it's back to camp to watch Ian and Greg caress one another in sloppy soapy naked goodness ... and you just know Coby was having a shit fit about missing this. Katie talks to the swing vote (Caryn) about girl-power only to touch off a game of telephone that includes Caryn to Tom, Tom to Ian, and Ian back to Katie... and just like that... the girl alliance vanishes in a puff of burnt coconut. Immunity becomes important but Steph totally sucks at the game of busting thin ceramic tiles with tossed coconuts. Ian ends up with the magic necklace... and it hardly matters. Everybody marches up and takes Jungle Queen Stephanie out of the game. (bastards! :D)
Most Memorable Moment
Had to be when Tom sloshes past Ian in the lagoon after the little blue nuit love scene with Greg and Ian asks "Is the back of my neck dirty?" The walking, talking, cant-hold-its-liquor bag of testosterone, Tom, comments "Naw it's fine and I'm not washing you!"
A Bug Flew In Your Mouth
"You wanna think I'm a threat? I'll show you how big a threat!" ahh... Stephanie... such bravery and confidence. Only to be undone by the harsh slap of reality.
While taking a moment to embrace her latent homophobic tendencies, Jen comments "I think they could have asked a girl to luffa their backs..." as Greg and Ian share a Village People moment, washing one another in the Lagoon. One might think she was a tad bit embarrassed to see her own little Survivor Palau squeeze-a-snack attending to Ian’s dirty bits. :)
Reward
The show is at it's best when they do new stuff... and at its worst when they perform the same-ol-same-ol... and this was the "here's $500... lets auction some mystery meals" game. Ian dodges to boobie prize meal by some serious dumb luck (it was a bottle of live crabs) and Jeff hauls out letters from home that some of them buy and cry over. boooooring.
Koror
The rain dynamic is curious... as Tom explains, when the rain stops everybody zooms away in little groups to plot and plan. Sadly, most of the good idea plott'en is undone when Caryn plays her "both sides of the camp" swing position. The swing voter is always toasted... so I'm betting her number is coming up. Despite a working shower... Ian washes in the lagoon and has Greg wash his back. Jen is literally acting embarrassed about this and a wee bit homophobic... Then Toms nutz shrivel a bit as he worries that Ian will ask him to wash a body part too.
Immunity
Ok, Ian is freakishly tall and thin... it's quite something.
The kids line up and chuck coconuts at a big checker board thing made up of ceramic tiles in colour codes matching assigned colours for each of the players. The goal is to be the first with five broken tiles in their colour. Yawn... You know, the girls would have been smart (had their girl alliance thing been more than vapor) to gang up on one girl's tiles after round one and ensure a girl had immunity. Stephanie... who really needed Immunity, does terrible in the game and Ian walks away with the necklace.
Resident Evil
Tom sure does lie easily... just say'en.
The Darwin Affect
Dear Caryn; Thanks for yapping away and making yourself a target by virtue of demonstrating your two faced nature. Thanks not at all for screwing over Stephanie. :) or to paraphrase... "Caryn, you ignorant slut... die die die die die die"
Tribal Council
As seems to be a consistent thing... with the whole show dedicated to making it seem like Tom's neck was being stretched out... we could safely assume that he was NOT getting tossed off. That leaves Caryn and Stephanie... and the whole "purity of koror" thing comes back to haunt as they all vote to fry Steph.
Two things...
~ Ok... now that my most favorite Survivor ever is gone... who to root for now??? I like Ian, and pretty much dislike the rest of them... so ... there you go. Go Ian Go. :)
~ have we had the boring "mid season" recap episode of the show yet? We must have...??
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