Survivor X : Palau
Wherein... the kids at camp brainiac are feasting on the bounty of the sea and a bounty from the sky. Meanwhile Stephanie is about ready to swallow a bullet having surrounded herself with Charles Manson and a K-mart model. It’s dark days for Ulong... and Jeff keeps putting out their fires.
(the show in as few words as possible!)
Ulong, no longer able to field a volley ball team, sits around camp loser looking rather strange as a party of three, to say nothing of Bobby-Jon looking like Charles Manson! But it’s ok... they catch a slimy looking fish the size of your hand. So, that and eighty seven pounds of coconut, and they’re good to go. Meanwhile, Koror is trying to not get sick on all the clam meat their fricasseeing and then Tom walks into the water and hacks a shark nearly in half... that’s thirty more pounds of meat. Toms head grows two hat sizes and now it’s time to play Reward. It’s the old Build A Signal for the passing airplane game, and with the improbable combination of arch enemas Katie and Caryn with Greg, Koror snags the airdrop-feast without even lighting their damn signal!!... and then horseshoes start raining down all over the place. er.. ok, no. Despite what must be horrific sea food burps, and smelly camper bodies, Greg and Jenn still decide forget the million and play with each other (d’oh). At Immunity, Jeff takes a moment to poke sticks in Ulongs eyes when he gets both teams to talk about their sea food banquets, and then we all watch helplessly as Bobby-Jon freezes up and Team Loser heads back to the pit of despair with Jeff. After a concerted effort to convince us that Ibee and BJ were in each others pockets and Steph was toast... they toss Ibrehem the fuck off the island and head off to be the first tribe of two I’ve ever seen on this show.
Most Memorable Moment
Okay, so after the Immunity game, the desperate and dejected Ulongians head back to camp and the camera switches over to an underwater view of this big ass fish... that - and I’m sorry but - totally looked like Ibrehem. I swear, if the next scene was a close up on Ibee I would have wet my pants laughing. It wasn’t, I didn’t, but that black fish with the huge lips looked exactly like Ibrehem.
A Bug Flew In Your Mouth
Ian, El Magnifico with the fishing derby thing, sits back after Ahab bags a flipp’en shark (sharks, with fricken lasers!), and comments "I guess the next step for me is to bring in a hump back whale..." LOL!
"do you think our relationship is affecting, you know, other peoples perceptions of us as players in the game?" Oh my god... I never realized that Greg was an invertebrate... Dude? Why are you here?
The officially tired game of "build a signal for the airplane" is trotted out for the default air drop of wine and snacks reward. The best part of this game was watching Captain Ahab going mental not being able to say anything or help with the signal fire as Greg, Katie and Caryn zoomed around building it. They left the "lighting" part too late and when the plane came their modest effort to light it fails... so we think, you know... cool, they’ll lose and Ulong will get some food. But no, Bobby-Jon’s fabulous signal thing spelling ULONG in flaming letters was built practically under the forest canopy. I swear... how dumb are these people?
Food, food and more food. And then Greg sucks on some part of Jenn for a while and everyone watches then gabs like hens when the love birds wander away. It’s basically, band camp.
Ok, camp is just a dent in the forest with two scary looking guys, a fire pit, and Stephanie - who continues to look like she’s about to star in a milk commercial - sitting there wondering how the fuck she’s going to survive.
They get a little "slide the square into the empty spot" puzzle to play with and tons of warnings to actually pay attention. Step two? Go to the beach and do the same puzzle with floaty things in deep water. So Koror puts Coby up there to call out instructions which he does admirably. Ulong, on the other hand, puts Bobby-Jon, the human fire hydrant, up to call instructions. He basically stands there with spit dribbling out of his slack jaw for half the game when it dawns on them to switch Steph in. She takes of like a rocket and gets things going but it is officially too little, too late and they are fried!!!
The Darwin Affect
I was sure Stephanie was a gonner when she approached Ibrehem with a "look, if I can’t get an assurance from BJ, I’ll take one with you" speech. I was thinking Ibee would take that to BJ and they would be done with her. It just seemed like such a desperate move and such a big potential for back-fire!
Every single show I say to myself... "self! When they go to this much trouble to make you think so-and-so is getting kicked off... it’s gonna be the other guy." And it’s usually spot-on advice. Jeff drags it out by asking BJ why he would vote for Steph and we're convinced even further. But it's Ibrehem and he gives a nice speech that did include a look of total surprise at being kicked off. Dude!!!! Stephanie carried your ass from day one! Good bye!
~ I can't see how they can't merge. There would be no way to deal with a two man tribe and tribal council.
~ man, maybe I'm just getting stuck on Stephanie, but to my way of seeing it, she is the total survivor chick. She deserves the money already!
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