Survivor X : Palau
Fucking Ibrehem!
Wherein... the relentless torture of Team Loser steams ahead unchecked. Jeff pulls a couple of rats out of his hat when they play one of his sadistic games and what’s left of Ulong is kicked in their collective nads. Two people get kicked out tonight but sadly neither one is the dead man walking that should have gone... It's clearly kick-em-when-they're-down time in Palau.
Survive This!
(the show in as few words as possible!)
Night eleven and Koror, snug in their palace, has to listen to Jen, aka Betty Rubble, laugh all night long as Greg plays "I'll touch this and you tell me if it tickles". Fun for them, painful for the rest of Koror. Meanwhile Camp-Kill-Me-Now is busy wandering through dense jungle to find the caves and escape the pounding rain. Sadly Bobby-Jo - the food god - is also quite dense and they only manage to find a really big rock. Morning is video moments with water logged Ulongians and Angie is more than a little down.... cute like cakes, but down none the less.
James, aka Dobby (somebody pointed this out to me last week and I now I can't stop laughing every time I see him!!)
... James continues to be up on everyone’s face about being quitters, but he didn't drive the point home enough with Ibrehem the K-Mart Shirt Model.
Willard, the seven hundred year old dude on Koror - who, btw, happens to have a nicely waxed torso and kick ass muscle definition... WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?? - is one lazy piece of elderly poo... Tom and Greg plot Willard’s ending, and then it's Reward Time. The game is simple enough... from a big raft, hop on a little one that is pulled via your team to a marker where you jump off and collect a bottle from 15 feet down and return. Repeat six times and yer done. The Reward, however is complicated, and it guarantees someone goes home from each tribe and one tribe gets to suffer BIG. Ibrehem reminds us all that he is a totally useless hunk of dark meat and Stephanie wants to gouge out his eyes... Needless to say, Ulong lost again.
Strangely, Willard wants to give Coby his pants, and Greg wants to give Coby an alliance promise, and then it's time to let Jeff has his way. The council is a two party game with Koror up first. They chuck the old fart and then chow down on chili and various yummi bits while Ulong comes in, sits down, and gets the living crap kicked out of each and every one of them. It's twist-o-matic time with the Koror's voting immunity for the Ulong tribe, which lands on Dead Man Walking (Ibrehem) and a tie vote. In the end, Angie, her ink, her tiny panties, and little red bra has to go and hang with the people that hopefully are dropping food bits down the hole they stuffed Wanda in.
Most Memorable Moment
After getting two bottles in a row (physically challenging) Steph is sitting back on the raft being pulled back towards her just-lost-again-tribe. She's gorgeous and seriously angry. What a fabulous combination. I thought perhaps she might leap off the skiff and attack Ibrehem right then and there.
A Bug Flew In Your Mouth
"Why do I have to wander around, lost in the jungle with you guys?" Nasty bit of foreshadowing there Angie... as Bobby-Jon drags the semi naked losers through the dense jungle in the rain, in the middle of the night.
"And that kinda lost it for us." Ah yes, Ibrehem, mastering the art of understatement... Obviously, he has a special way of interpreting "kinda" in his world.
"I don't even care how far I get in this game, but if Katie gets further than me I will puke... puke... puke!" This from Coby as he poses in his mini-shorts, looking pretty much like you'd expect a Saturday Night Live take-off on a Calvin Kline perfume commercial to look.
"I'm very social with this tribe, which could bite me in the end!" hahaha you wish Coby (hi Cowboy). :D
Basking in the glory of all that it is to be "Master Jeff", Bringer Of Pain, he prepares a new torture for Ulong and says "We'll now bring in the Ulong tribe... who I'm sure are going to enjoy this!" (sicko)
Reward
So the game was cool... a little rope thing to pull a wee floater out to a buoy and then you dive down to get a saki bottle tied to a Japanese ship wreck. You yank the bottle off and return to base. However all-your-bases-are-belong-to-us because Ibrehem dives down twice and returns... empty handed... even after having a bottle in hand at the bottom. I dunno what his problem was but he really appeared to be a total wanker. The Ulong's had a clear lead and were going to win... and then came Ibrehem.
Winning, however, was not all you might hope for. You get a big meal for winning, but you are to eat it from the Jury box at council after voting one of your team off. While you eat ... the loser tribe comes in vote someone off too. The deal is that you get to listen in to their conversations... but the twist is that the winning tribe gets to select a loser for Immunity AFTER listening to their conversations. Sweet.
Koror
Well Jeff was finally sick of them being a group of nine so tonight’s show was geared to getting rid of a Kororian. Willard goes but that's basically because he is wicked lazy, old and as Katie points out when she holds up her vote for him "crabby and bitter". Good riddance. The camp is nice, with their new bitch’en shelter... but comes equipped with Greg and Jen giggling like school kids all night. (weeee).
Ulong
Stephanie sits around wondering if it would be ok to just kill each of her tribe mates ... one by one. :D They have no shelter, no brains in charge (it's James and Bobby-Jon who lead and between them they couldn't outsmart a gerbil), and they are seriously bummed. A morning after video moment with Angie shows her being very depressed but otherwise exceptionally cute. In their post reward/immunity game time, we get to watch Stephanie try desperately to morph into Cyclops so she can laser beam Ibrehem with her eyes.
The Darwin Affect
How big a dick can Ibehem actually be? "I hope they will consider my performance in all the challenges and not just this one!" (Ibrehem with his voice actually cracking!)... hahahaha ... you mean the other challenges where you got your ass kicked? or failed or gave up or just generally was a smack-monkey? You suck!!!! suck suck suck!!! and now? You've been rescued!! and Stephanie has to look you in the eye for another few days.
Tribal Council
It starts with Koror voting off Willard and then heading over to get some good eat'en done. Then it's Ulong, who brings everything they own to Tribal hoping for a merge. Jeff basically says "HA!" and they carry it all home again. But not before they all get a chance to rag hard on Ibrehem, whom they are certain they will be sending home. Then it's twist time and thanks to Koror voting to give Ibrehem immunity, he is saved for another day and the Ulongians end up tossing Angie. (bummer!!) Angie was crying as the Koror's chowed down on their chili and Steph was doing her Cyclops thing.
Two things...
~ They'll merge next week... (guess)
~ Man is Ibrehem ever gonna hate the next few days in camp loser!
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