Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Amazing Race 7 Update!!!

Amazing Race 7 Update!!

Dr. Evil is in da'house...

It's all about... Boston frick'en Rob and his evil little self. Love him or hate him... - and I really don't like him... even a little - you gotta hand it to him for playing the game. The gang goes to Chili hunting for a virgin and while they all seem like so much putty in Rob's evil hands, I suspect that he's the only reason the show didn't just basically suck with boredom.

Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka “The show, in as few words as possible!")
Wake up in Cuscus, Peru and head by bus to Arequipe... the White City, and be a shoe shine slave. That's a Roadblock and it sets the pace for the outcome, with the fun bobbies (the brothers), the fun boobies (Heidi and Megan) and the fun bunnies (the gay guys) at the back of the pack...
~ Then it's fly time to Chili to get a clue from a big ass statue of the Virgin Mary. Patrick and his mom, Susan, display a dramatic flair for being remarkably stupid and fall rather behind... but the Carry Books or Get A Big Fish Detour pushes the fun boobies to the very back and leaves Boston Rob and his Trailer Hitch Amba wandering into first place.
~ POW Ron and his Tour Guide Barbie of a date come in second... much to her immense excitement... as was ever so evident. (wowzers!)

The Good
So bad that their good... The bus ride includes two solid Rob-isms; he finds that the later bus gets in earlier, in that it's not a milk run... and sadly, he can't manage to keep this info to himself, even though he pays a security guard to not tell the others. He forgot to pay the guy to not tell the others that Rob paid him to be quiet. (Bwaahahahaha) Then he takes up a collection from his minions to bribe the bus driver to only open the front door... and is all proud of not actually kicking in his share. The door thing works great but mostly because... the fricking idiots at the back of the bus can't walk to the front of the bus because....???? oh yeah, they're fricking idiots. Rob really needs a silver single suit and a bald head...

The Bad
Patrick, sporting an unexplained but large bandaide on his head, and his mom seem like the sort of people that get locked in a store because it never dawns on them to push the door they keep pulling on. First they don't have enough local currency to pay for a ticket up to the virgin mary statue, and then when they finally get there, the stand around talking to themselves while the lift departs on the return journey with the other players.

The Ugly
The irony of Joyce not being able to get anyone to let her shine their shoes in "White City" is only overshadowed by watching Gretchen (the six hundred year old lady) boot-black some guys yellow socks. Joyce and her dude, Uchenianchinaquinahanrahan, manage to not be last... which is as surprising as Gretchen and Merideth not coming in last... considering that they got lost walking up a flight of stairs to the checkpoint.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
Angry gay men yelling at foreign fish mongers... how fun is that? Almost as much fun as watching a room full of fish mongers boo and hiss a couple of flamers out of their fish market. At least Lynn (hard core fembot) is self deprecating with his "we're good at pulling up the rear" comment.

The Losers
All that potential... and simply no game. The two boobie girls come in last and are tossed... no doubt the old guys will be last next week and it will be a non-elimination round... hahaha. Heidi and Megan just never made any connection with the game. Although they did connect with the brothers... but girls... one million dollars versus two stoners with four testicles? I mean, seriously? What were you thinking?

The Winners…
Oh god... All I can think is that with his total disregard for morals and decency... Rob is bound to do well in the game. Knob and Amba come in first and get a vacation package... and, no doubt, a whole bunch of attitude to carry him into next weeks game.

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