please welcome Penélope Cruz and Salma Hayek.
(applause applause)
S: "The movies dat we see... blah blah blah...
blah blah...
P: "Here are the nominees... blah blah blah...
blah blah...
S: "and the oscar goes to... blah blah... blah...
(cut to video segment, low light, mic's off)
P: "OH SURE... you and your tits..."
S: "wha?"
P: "Is nobody looking at me... at us...
only thing they look at is your stupit boobs!"
P: "... slut!"
S: "What? I kill you bitch..."
(muffled thud)
And now, to present the awards for sound editing,
please welcome Salma Hayek.