Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

The Amazing Race 6 Update!!

Amazing Race 6 Update!!



The Little Ones




It's all about... getting lost... apparently. I mean, we're down to the wire here and basically they are all being a bit dim. The models (slash actors! gag), the Odd couple (aka "the little ones"), and then there's Kris and Jon... who appear increasingly normal as the crowd thins out. Oh, and do you ever sit there, watching the show, wishing a sixteen ton anvil would drop, bugs-bunny-like out of the sky, and land on Adam? I know I do...
WWAS? What would Adam say...?



Good Afternoon Race Fans...

Oh my gawd! I am going to just freak right out if she calls me Honey one more time! er... Oh, yeah, hi... it's me, Adam, and I'm going to give you the run down... mmk? AHHH REBECCA! Ok... I mean it this time. The next time you call me Honey, I'm just going to... That will be it... Next time! No! I mean it.

Okay, so we're in Sri Danka but we have to go to the airport again and we're like, last. Of course, everyone is together at the airport so our "start time" was meaningless. I sent my fiancé, Rebecca, to go get the tickets... what? Yeah, well that sounds better than "my race partner... who hates me, won't let me handle money or buy tickets... because I am a stupid little girl."

We fly for like... ever... and end up in China! Shanghai... so I have to listen to Debra Messing here, drool over Sean Penn and Madonna from that movie. Everybody is lost... It's late, the cab drivers only speak some foreign language... it might be Chinese... and we end up walking some back ally in the dark, with strange men around, and it ... sorta turns me on... but whatever... it turns out to be one of those opens at 8:30 am things. So we all crash at a hotel.

The next day we all race through this complicated Confusions Says garden thing looking for the clue box. We are all sent to this place downtown, but everything turns out to be in the hands of these crazy cab driver dudes that either wont stop for us (of course my hair horns have nothing to do with that) or drive us to the wrong places. Freddy and Kendra, those absolute pooh heads, yielded us... as pay back. I mean, they should have yielded Jon and that girl or Aaron and ... whats-her-name... So we have a chance to talk about things but Rebecca, of course, just wants to argue. In fact... we keep arguing... after the little hourglass yield thing finishes. The others get ahead of us here but fortunately I didn't have to yell out to all of shanghai to tell my mother that I love her. Rebecca did the scary "repel down a forty story building" thing.

Did you know... Kendra calls Rebecca and I "the little ones"!!!! Oh my gawd she is so condensations! It just makes me so angry. Any ways, we have to go to this special place and find a Tai Chi master in a group of Tai Chi dancers... So it's back to the stupid cab drivers again. When we get there we noticed a few teenagers sitting on the curb in grubby clothes... so we asked them if they were the Tai Chi masters. We did this because I am actually only slightly more intelligent than a discarded ice cream cone.

We eventually find the master... dressed in a white suit in a crowd of people in white suits carrying ornate swords. So, you can see my confusion with those teenagers. Rebecca told our master that he looked like her Yoga teacher. I'm sure this made him feel very special.

Our new clue sent us chasing after everyone else on three mile hunt for the next clue. That one is a Detour but man... those cab drivers are just evil. Three miles might as well have been "the moon" with some of these guys. The Detour is to either carry 300 bricks from here to there or this big complicated thing with a ginormous block of ice, a strange bicycle and interacting with locals. So, like, everyone else, we did the bricks.

The editors made it look like Kris and Jon were neck and neck with us... but seeing as I have to carry Rebecca everywhere, we had to be, like, a half day behind them. Fortunately this editing thing means I get to pretend I know about Kris and Jon almost getting spammed by a taxi and then by a bus as they cross the road at the pit stop!! The models made it ages ago... Kris and Jon are like third, so we ... just... suck.

It is, however, a non-elimination round... so Rebecca had to give over all the cash... and we have to beg for money on the streets of shanghai!!! Eat that Sean Penn.

* Next week... The season ends!!

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