Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

The Amazing Race 6 Update!!

Amazing Race 6 Update!!

Like a Hut Facial!

It's all about... how stupid they can be. No really... this show was won and lost on pure stupidity.
WWKS... what would Kendra say?

Good Afternoon Race Fans...

Hiya... It's me, Kendra.
Geez... was this episode eva hard! We had to go the third world again...

Let's see... We all had to get up in the middle of the night and head to a ferry that doesn't leave till 11:30 in the morning. Aaron and Hayden have to (hahaha) beg for money... like they were poor people! But it's ok, they're models-slash-actors so they'll be able to get people to give them money. Gosh did they ever get a lot of money! Truth be told, Hayden is really looking tired... she's not holding up as well as I am. That may have made people feel sorry for her. Did you know that my eyebrows are always perfect.

Any ways... we're outta Corsica and into Nice to catch a cab. We all do that "talking English but with a French accent" so the cab drivers will understand us, and then boom... They hit us with another trip to Africa. Ethiopia!! Like on those commercials with the little fat kids... I never understood that... they say they're hungry but they're like... all fat. It's going to be depressing.

Rebecca basically finally told that pussy, Adam, that she's done with him. It's about time... She sure was lay'en on the tears thick. Now if she would do something with her eyebrows, she'd be good to go. That idiot, Bilbo or whatever his name is... butted in front of us at the air port and screwed!! us out of tickets. Next time he tries that... I'm going to kick his ass. Oh, and he walked into the air plane when he was boarding... so serves him right.

So we take little charter flights like those "group vacation" things for poor people, to this village of really poor people... but I can tell they're faking or something... "these people choose to be this way... The animals aren't as skinny." so they are probably hiding their food somewhere.

We had a detour in this place... it was "raise the roof" or "mud the hut". We didn't want to walk across the field with seven locals carrying a little wood roof thing, like Rebecca and Adam did. Nope... instead we spent forever throwing hundreds of handfuls of mud at this hut wall to cake it on... like a "hut facial!!" The most adorable little child in the universe was waiting on a path to say hi to all of us as we walked past...

My Freddy was wounded horrifically by some sharp thing in the mud... there was blood everywhere and I thought he was going to die. But they put a Band-Aid on his finger and he'll be ok. His face is fine... so it's all good.

That pathetic white trash Victoria cut her pinky a bit too... no doubt trying to copy my Freddy ... but god was she screaming... like... wake the dead kinda screaming. I suggested to Jonathan that he help her... and some spit shot out of my mouth when I was talking... It was horrible... I had to cover my mouth and go to commercial. He really is horrible to her... I think he's mentally retarded... and he has a very ugly blue hat.

So the clue tells us to take two donkeys to this black man... (who looked well fed, by the way) to get another clue (It's a Road Block) but there was a Yield there, and that Bitch Rebecca... with awful eyebrows... Yielded Freddy and I. I mean... US! They Yielded US!! We're models you know... I mean, look at us!

I had an asthma attack and was thinking of calling in a medivac team but some local kid carried my bag for me so I was ok. They were sooo helpful, "I want to take them home!" ... good help is so hard to find and I mean, this is Africa... they're black... Isn't there some tradition about that or something?

So any ways, Adam is so amazingly dumb that we manage to finish the Road Block ahead of them. HaHa... We had to take a pendant down into this underground mud church... (don't ask! Ug... you should see my nails) and find a person with a matching pendant in this group of people. Adam, hampered by having no brains at all, gets his pendant and takes off to check a bunch of locals for the matching pendant. Rebecca wouldn't yell to him that he was in the wrong place because it's a church (I mean, how stupid is that?) so Freddy was able to get through it first.

Jonathan didn't read his clue properly and only brought one donkey to the black guy... so they had to go back for another one. Then Victoria had a panic attack looking for the matching pendant.

I don't know how they did it but Aaron and Hayden came in first and won another trip (bitch)... and the good news? Those nut jobs, Victoria and Jonathan, came in last!! She let him hug and kiss her (ewwww!) and they got kicked out of the race. Yeah!!!!

Little secret? We all had a huge party to celebrate Jonathan getting kicked out! I have to work on my eyebrows for a bit and make sure Freddy's nails are perfect... so ... see ya.

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