Amazing Race 6 Update!!
Start your engines... because SheRa is gonna do some ass kick'en, Rebecca's give'en out an ego smash'en, the old guy cries.
Good Afternoon Racefans...
(aka "The show mechanics...")
Rousted out of bed on a ship perma-parked in the port of Stockholm...
~ get yerself to the top of the town hall tower...
They roust last week’s winners (Aaron and Hayden) out of bed at 2:04 in the morning to send 'em off in search of the first clue... which is in this tower that is closed till morning. Idiot boy Aaron accepts some cab drivers suggestion that the tower doesn't open until 10:00 am. He tells the next team ... and so on, until four teams are crashed out in a hotel till ... 10:00 am. Meanwhile the bottom half of the race-lineup get to the tower and see that it opens at 7:00... so the order shuffles...
~ clue it to Dakar, Senegal... one of the many arm pits in Africa.
So they screw around in the Airport and all end up on the same flights.
~ grab a shit box... er.. a cab and find a dead guy in the "Bel Air Cemetery" that wrote the poem in your clue and you've got your next clue.
It's like, the middle of the night again, and they are all fighting with cab drivers in a strange country about cab fares, flat tires, and bad smells.
~ dead guy tells you to go a fishing village called "Kayar", just east of bum fuck...
Of course, the Cemetery is also closed, so they bunch up again.
~ Detour: touch hundreds of sickening, nasty, yucko fish as you "Stack 'Em Up" out to dry or puke your guts out in a local fishing boat as you "Pull 'Em Up" with a line and hook deal...
No really... Hara (Fat Albert’s spineless daughter) and Don (old guy) talking to Huey over the edge of the fishing boats was... really gross. Not as bad as that kid towards the end of Detroit Rock City but still... Oh, and those Senegal’ese Fish seem to like barf... MJ: "Every time Don threw up... I caught a fish".
~ clue it to Lac Rose and do a Road Block: digging up salt... a lot of salt.
The Road Block clue reads "Who wants to bath in rose water?" and, of course, it's all the girls that dive on it. Suckas!! And the locals laughed and laughed.
~ boogie to the checkpoint at Il de Goree... and old prison colony island... from the slave'en days.
And why the fuck couldn't it have been a non elimination round last week? The non elimination thing saves the old guys from obscurity this week.
Watching SheRa haul salt like she was mainlining black beauties while The Human Pussy (Adam) was crying in the water and yelling at Rebecca... was fucking glorious. Watching Rebecca diss the crap out of Adam was kinda groove station zero too.
What is with the game sorting shit out at night and having the best "gotcha" moments go to waste because they just bunch up waiting for things to open?
Gus and Hara... are clearly two of the dumbest racers I've ever seen on this show. It's like every choice they make ... sucks! The fished in the Detour and he ends up in the water at the salt lake...
Frigg'en Fat Albert in a cab, with his shirt off... his bitch tits hanging down to his liver, and one big ass roll of flab filling your television screen. How was that necessary?
The Exceptionally Pathetic
Adam... you must search for your wee testicles ... and soon.
Rebecca starts the show with "When I met him, his mom cut his toe nails." And she's riding the "sick of him" bus all through the show. He is a total pussy at the Road Block yelling at her to "SHUT UP" every time she yells out encouragement. But then... when she's had enough...
Her: "I don't have time to baby-sit my girlfriend."
Him: "You want me to jump off this boat?"
Her: "That would be great!"
I bet the guy has "Fry Cook For Life" stamped on his ass.
Oh, and they had this moment with Enormous Dick Head (jon) and his Skag (vic) talking about wanting to have babies... Who knew Amazing Race would rate as Horror TV.
Us! Lena and Kristy left last week... and we get stuck with Gus and his ugly man boobs and Don puking and crying. Cut us some slack here... geez. Oh, and Team Attends came in last but it was a non elimination round so they lost their cash but still get to play.
Kris...(aka Britney) who looked delightful soaking wet hauling salt, and her plastic thing, Jon, came in first, got the trip and can look forward to being woken up in the middle of the night for the next show. :D
The money team...I'm still thinking Bilbo is way too stupid. Hayden and Aaron... money.
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