Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

The Amazing Race 5 Update!!

Amazing Race 5 Update!!



The Finale Legs



It's all about...  two shows, back to back and reaching a really rather exciting conclusion.  Amazing Race is, without question, my favorite formula show and I had a great time watching this finale.  We get Christie and Colin being totally evil Borgs, and we watch as the other teams take turns driving them up the wall... Brandon and Nicole? well, let me just say, Nicole, lying in the snow on the side of a Canadian mountain, bawling her head off... was worth the price of admission. The Rosie’s and Chip'n'Dale played good games and as I type this... I have no idea how I'm gonna explain both shows... :D



Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "A speedy rundown of the show mechanics TIMES two")
The Killa from Manila;
~ get to some monument (Jose Ruzel) then...
~ charter a boat in el Nido to get to a buoy at sea to score a clue.
~ pic out the Philippians’ flag and find another clue
~ snorkel out to open a big prop clam for yet another clue
~ Road Block: have vertigo? don't go!
~ And of course, nobody knows what vertigo is...
~ scale a 150' wall on this pulley-climber for a clue
~ then kayak to the checkpoint!

The Island Adventures' Done;
~ early versus late charter plane to Manila
~ then go international fly time to Calgary, Alberta, Canada
~ pull your head out of your ass and put on a winter coat,
~ zoom to Banff, and then...
~ climb to the top of The Continental Divide (great movie btw)
~ Beauty view, eh?
~ clue it to the Olympic Cauldron,
~ Detour: Slide (two man luge) or Ride (studded mountain bike slalom)
~ Fly yer ass to Dallas
~ cab to Fort Worth stockyards
~ maze game for clue
~ and you are da winner!

The Good
Well there were a few stand out moments... The Rosie’s lost it in the first half of the show when they had to do the pulley-climb thing.  This was a nearly impossible task, and Karen? (the dark haired one) was sick like a dog at the get go! This was their undoing but the point is... they got to the climb challenge ahead of Team CC by outsmarting them!! oh, and she ultimately did manage to finish the climb and you gotta give them big creds for getting this far, despite their nearly constant forays into a kind of bowling mom insanity...
Brandon and Nicole went for the mountain bikes in the detour and she was not into it... so much so that she was not just crying. She was fucking losing it with snot and everything... lying in the snow, flipping out.  Can you see her as a) a model? or b) as a parent? Now... imagine if this was Christie (partly because it would just be fun to imagine Christie suffering in this particular way) and how Colin would be reacting.  Well Brandon was nothing like that.  He was very calm and supportive. Props to him for the way we saw him handling this.  Now this is the same guy that was telling Nicole to "Imagine it's Jesus and rush to his arms" as he coaxed Nicole up a hill. So he's a nice guy... and a crazy person.

The Bad
Team CC is broke right... non elimination round last week. Yeah, well, Christie gave some Asian man in a restaurant a kiss for 20$.  And the joke goes, "so he asked her 'how much for a blow job' and she demanded 'what type of girl do you think I am?'.  To this he replies 'well we've already established that... now we're just negotiating."
Brandon elects to simply follow Chip and Kim when the have to island hop looking for the Philippine flag.  You have to jump in the water and get to this clue box to find out if you've hit it or got the wrong flag.  So we're talking Brandon stays in his boat and waits while Chip does the deed and heads out to check the next island. Lazy little punk. So, recently awakened "evil Chip" (aka: GameBoyAdvanced), seizes the opportunity to make like it was a miss and take off with the clue... Brandon asks him point blank and he lies (I cheered at my television like a shut-in).  So Curly Sue gets suspicious and finally checks, and gets to talk mean about Chip. Weee. 
And speaking of Bad!! All of them had to have Mother Nature tell them they needed to wear actual warm clothes to climb the mountain. You'd think they'd have had this idea before they end up dressing in cabs and on gondolas.

The Ugly
Watching Nicole quietly bad mouth Chip as her boy Brandon gains on him climbing the rope was what made it especially comfortable watching her bawling on the ski hill later. :D
Karen, (Team Rosie's) had almost no voice and a cold of some sort... and she's trying to climb this rope thing.  You're in a harness and you hold a cantilever that allows the gear hooked to your feet to "pull" you up the rope each time you push your legs out. push-pull-push-pull-push... etc. She endured Chip passing her, and then Colin showing up and passing her and knowing they were last... and still finished it. This built up a good climax to part one of the show, but ... in the end, it was still watching the Rosie's get booted... waaaaaaa! :D

The Exceptionally Pathetic
Colin and Christie did not win!!!! Excellent! hahaha... and they didn't win specifically because Colin stopped playing the game.  Meanwhile Chip is coming into the airport way last (after having a hard time with the mountain climb, and the Detour). He manages to scoop everybody on a better flight when it turns out the first flight was going to be delayed.  Chip and Kim absolutely bamboozled the gang and it was the game winning moment.  The other teams got on one leg of the flight but couldn't snag the better connector that Chip and Kim had because they had checked their luggage all the way through (and you can't fly a diff airline than your luggage). Chip'n'Dale had a 17 minute advantage over the two teams and this put them in position to wend their way through to the finish line.  Team CC was frick'en beside themselves when they realized the flight situation was as grave as it was.  I was worried Christie was going to burst into flames.  They made a big deal out of having Colin pre-book a town car and entice his driver to drive ... aggressively... but that was all editing as Chip and Kim squirmed through traffic to the finish line.

The Winners…
All the guys are asked, point blank, to say something about "that fabulous woman at your side..." blah blah blah... and we get a great speech from Chip, then we sit back thinking how much the other two couples frigg'en deserve one another.  Chip and Kim win and it was an earned run to the end. 

See ya...
Boy, was this ever a fun show to watch. :D I get my kicks writing these updates but I wanted to say a sincere thank you for reading them and for the comments.  I heard somewhere that there will be another AR starting ... in like a month? Is that right? I think so... so any ways, I'll see ya next time.

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