Big Brother 5 Update!!
The Marvin Diaries
Where in... the end comes around right quick! Of course, we get to see the jury make like they give a care and ask a bunch of questions struggling desperately to squeeze a last little bit of drama out of the game. Sadly, all they needed to do was bring Jase out sooner... and imagine, he listens to Holly talk all day long... hell, he even hears her make that chipmunk noise you just know she makes when she climaxes. The jig is up and there's lots of hugg’en... why? Because somebody just won $500,000 and it's time to play "kiss ass!"
Now we all begin the five day cycle of totally forgetting everything about these people.
Loser say what?
(aka "The finale in as few words as possible")
No shit, the very first moment of tonight’s grand finale was Julie screwing up a line!!! hahahaha... she prol'y caught a glimpse at herself reflected somewhere and realized her shirt was unbuttoned to her lint collector!! She's holding down the outside crowd while they try and make us think the house-mats in the loser lounge - in front of an audience - are still in the Jury House. (lame guys!! come on...) while Marvin morphs into a strange crossing between Andy Rooney, Ted Koppel and Mohammad Ali and tries to emcee the jury talk. The talk among the Jurors is typically without consensus as they each take a turn and saying something that sounds like they give a care about who gets the money and seeing as it's not them... I wasn't convinced! Then they get to quiz the boys... Marvin drops a bomb... ("So Cowboy, are you a lying racist or racist liar?") bwaahahahahaha... what a tool. Cowboy is nothing... he's like a big empty milk bottle. You gotta have something in the bottle to be a liar. :) No seriously though... he tries to push this and Michael does a fine job of saying "what?" but with dignity. Everybody seems to be working Michael on issues like "so did you play at all or just ride along?" and you gotta wonder what the hell their problem was? Every one of them was hanging on someone’s coat tails at one time or another. Michael just did it better.
It's vote time and Will actually fucking gives it away when he steps up to Julie to vote... saying "Maybe I get to break the tie!" and Julie was mortified and silent. She gets all serious and reveals each vote telling us who voted and what their vote was... It comes down to a tie at three apiece (Natalie, Adria and Nakomas - told ya she's come around - voted for Michael, while Diane, Karen, and Marvin voted for Drew... leaving Will's vote as the tie breaker. Big Surprise! He voted for (drum roll) ... Drew. Then he and Michael hug and kiss for like five minutes. I expected them to wander into one of the bedrooms... but Julie calls 'em out!
The winning and losing is done... So Julie calls out the other house-mats. Lori looks as great as ever, although she was wearing some sorta pillow case thing... ick. Scott looked like... an idiot ... but the real fun was Holly and her pet dog, Jase. He harbors a big poopy log about Scott hitting on Holly or something and refuses to make up or deal with Scott... hahahaha... and Holly... OMFG!!! her voice... can you freaking imagine living with that voice?
Everybody gets to hug again... then the families come into play and there's more hugg'en. And with a great big honking smile ... Julie says "see ya next time". Fortunately Michael didn't win so I don't have to make good on my promise to never watch again. :D
Just say'en... This way, Drew and Diane share a shit load of money, and Michael gets something... ($50,000). I'm thinking they decided this or Drew decided this, before tossing Diane. Now... that ascribes a shit load more brains to Drew than he has earned... but it's more fun this way.
Hey... look, I just wanted to thank you for reading all these updates. I do this to exercise my fingers and that's reward enough. However when I get feedback (comments) on these things, it's just icing on the cake. I hope you enjoyed them and I'll see ya in the Survivor updates. :D
[ click the banner below to link with the Big Brother section of my web site ]