Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Big Brother 5 Update!!!

Big Brother 5 Update!!

Pinky... Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Where-in... Michael is possessed by ... someone with a brain, Nakomas has a rip roaring freak attack and the D&D show wend their way towards the last moments of this season. Julie, hoe’en it up in a see through top, drags us through tonight’s "special live show" and we are this close (imagine me pinching two fingers together) to the end!!

Loser say what?
(aka "The WEEK in as few words as possible")
Julie, effervescent in her (no kidding here) see-through black top (frilly black bra) and a skirt that must have been sewn into place... (no shit here... but no way could she walk in that thing... "are we done? Good...somebody unstitch me dammit...My ass feels like Dolly Partons tits over here...") introduces us to the end game. It’s the last week of BB and it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty. We get some set up with Diane – ever the fashionista with her jeans and dress thing... picking her nose – working her deal with Drew and Michael to get Karen gone and then lose Nakomas. But its post Nomination time and with Diane and Nak up on the block so we get to spend the night watching Mr. Genius at work. Oh and we get to watch Marvy being a poor sport over at the Loser Lodge making empty threats and talking like he’s a big scary black man... oh wait... hahaha...
Looking over Karen’s shoulder, we see a few drawings she’s doing of her friends in the house. No, really... she has a web site selling her art...
[ :: karens drawing from the show... No. 1, No. 2, No. 3.... Bwaahahahahaha :: ]
But enough about the losers... Back to the Monkey House!!
It’s veto time and the game is all about remembering who got the "power of veto" and laying that out in order from the first week of the show. Drew goes first...and spends 14 minutes trying to remember that he, in fact, held veto once... hahaha... Nakomas does much better... but also screws up one of the vetos and gets a 6 minute time. Diane, also forgetting that Drew held veto, gets a good time in the 4 minute range. But Michael... who was obviously channeling the spirit of an actual edu-macat-ed person, is given the instructions and blurts out "This is mine!!!" The game was to run around connecting extension cords between house-mat face signs arranged in groups for each week of the game to create a serial circuit. If you guessed the right people... the circuit completes and the lights come on. He blasts through the game and was the only player to get his lights on first try. His time was like 2minutes and 13seconds!! After everyone has a good laugh at Drew and his 14 minute mark... the uber powerful Golden Veto lands in Cowboys hands. The thing is... if he choose to not use it... he’d still be the only voter... so he’s not allowed to not use it... because the person he doesn’t save... LEAVES RIGHT NOW. Diane corners him to secure her support – they even pinky swear (hahaha... what the fuck is with them actually believing in that drivel? Diane is off camera saying "I’ll swear to give him my first born...") and Nakomas debases herself with silly promises and whining "I’m your sister" but this really gets her nowhere... except on the porch bawling her eyes out... bwahahahah... Diane’s veto ceremony speech is a spot-on drive-for-the-goal-line deal telling Michael that she "trusts he’ll honor his deals" and that she will "honor that right back to you!" This leaves Nakomas with nothing to say except maybe "Well now... I guess I’m fucked!" (which she doesn’t say, btw.). She’s pissed off but has enough class to not freak out. She is out! With that out of the way... all that’s left is to torture the three remaining house mats. This takes the form of a three part HoH game... Stand on these raised posts and hold a key... last one holding their key wins part one. The two losers of part one, face off in part two and the winner of that faces off with the winner of part one in part three. D’ya get that? Hahaha... well we only get to see part one start up and Julie... unable to move her thighs in that skirt is obviously getting wet with excitement as she tells the house-mats to hold on. The posts they are on are surrounded by soft squishy foam ROCKS (we see one get squished by Diane) and the whole affair is hooked up to a "shake you up" device... And of course this gets a "Yeee Hawww" from Michael.
The show is on Friday... and then ends on Next Tuesday!! J

Fav Quotes
"every time I see Natalie... I just want to spit on her!" Oh boy... Marvelous Marvy is one classy bitch...
And then, waiting for the next evictee to arrive at the loser lodge, he comments; "I hope it’s Diane... that way I can stab her in the eye with a chicken bone." Wohoo... so when I look up sore loser in the encyclopedia... I’ll be looking at your chocolate moon face huh...

Diane, in fine form, comments on Nakomas’s blow up in the yard by saying "I have never seen anybody cry so hard and not shed a tear." I’m thinking that’s a stretch... do you think Nak was being genuine?
And, when she confronts Michael about his vote...
"I completely win over her [ nakomas ] in keeping you in this game!"
... and she’s friggen right.

Most Memorable Moment
Hands down... the Nakomas blow up, and more specifically, Diane’s reaction!! When Nakomas, still reeling from debasing herself by lying like mad directly to Michael in a last ditch effort to hold some game... ends up curled on one of the chairs in the yard whimpering... the kids come out to see if she’s ok... (of course, Diane does this by saying "are you mad at us?" with a bit of a ‘tude on). Nakomas tries to put on a good face... and then... an den... an den... real or gloriously faked... she TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY LOSES IT. She’s screaming through her cries, loud enough to send everyone’s mics into feedback loops. She’s bellowing... and wailing... "I don’t know what’s going on anymore!!!"
Nakomas translator: "I have no control anymore so I’m really really pissed off..."
Now Diane and the boys came out to see if she was ok...and they got the Nakomas Freak Show for dessert. In the middle of her raging rant... arms flailing... screaming... the camera catches Diane hiding her face behind a cocktail napkin... laughing her ass off!
[ :: click me... I’m a link to a picture of Diane at this specific moment!! :: ]
~ that laughing thing... See, either you hate her skanky ass and hate her even more now... or – if you’re like me – you can see past your distaste for her and appreciate the notion that she is well and truly ALL GAME at this stage and is not going be distracted by a few screams from the resident goth-machine.

Well now... can you just freaking imagine... if, when the game ends... when it’s all over, they interview Michael and all of his Hic-Dom drops away and he suddenly morphs into some dude from Boston that was just acting? "April and the kid? They were rentals..." hahahahaha... NOT POSSIBLE... but it would be a scream. :D

The winner...
yeah... well I have no freaking idea who could win the votes... you know the jury will vote to give the money to Cowboy (all except for Nakomas...hahaha) in a heartbeat if their choice is Drew or Diane. So I can only imagine D & D ending up at the end and Drew getting the money... but but but...

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