Amazing Race 5 Update!!
It's all about... the Rosie's thinking they’re in last place... The model slash zealot team is in training to be a WatchTower couple... begging for cash. Oh and Brandon pulls a "shirpa monks making the sun rise by banging on a drum" thing...
Good Afternoon Racefans...
(aka “A speedy rundown of the show mechanics")
Escape from Calcutta!
~ book an international ticket at an agency (not the airport) and drive 22 miles to airport...
~ fly to Auckland, New Zea and find Rotarura (multiple flights)
~ Yield anyone?
~ Detour: Clear or Dirty (and no, Snagulara wasn't there...)
~ Clean? Sledge diving white water raft thing
~ Dirty? Look for clue in mud... d'uh...
~ Clue it to Matapara Farm and find...
~ Roadblock: pump up and ride a zorb to a finish line (and I want to do that!!!)
~ From zorb to checkpoint and this one is an actual elimination round!
hahaha... my girls (the Rosie's) are doing fine!! They've made it up to second place... and even manage to flop their bowling bums down a little white water action to boot - Groovy little hand held mini sled thing called a "sledge" that you suit up and ride down a rough water course on. One of them - of course - does the zorb thing and boy it looks fun. You inflate this giant donut like thing, except it's a 360 donut instead of a 180 donut... do you understand? You climb in via this little orifice (sphincter?) and sit in water surrounded by a plastic bubble and it rolls down this big ass hill... then you "walk it" to the finish line like a gerbil wheel. They kept thinking they were in last place after an unfortunate experience with ticketing their flights to Auckland but Brandon really is stupid so they were able to pull ahead.
Geez Chip... he's going to get burned soon... he had the twins on his ass (um... look, you gotta know what I mean there, because the alternative is just too horrific to imagine) and he hits the Yield... and does he yield them? Despite the Yield being invented exactly for this situation he doesn't. The twins fry, btw, so it doesn't matter but it was a very poor game decision. Oh, and when they hit the Road Block... and it say's "Who's up for a wild ride?" Kim is like "you're doing this regardless..." (insert sound of whip cracking).
Man that freak'en Colin and Christy deal is getting old. They try and wow us with him caving on some issue and her background chatter bringing us the "we're growing as a couple" crap. He's a control freak with a temper and she's a bad-boy huntress that lost her way and ended up with the guy the other guys beat up in high school. However, they still managed to pull off first place AND got another freaking trip out of it... (That's three... but who's counting) When this is over I hope he has trouble getting those horse shoes out of his butt. They ride their lead all through this episode and his pushy personality got the ball rolling with the best air link out of sickening Calcutta.
The Exceptionally Pathetic
After blabbing that he was worried more for Nicole’s safety, he elects to go for Dirty at the Detour. His face said he was shitting bricks about the white water thing. So they go and try to find a clue in this mud spring. Of course, it will probably have given then lovely supple skin... They freaking hunt and peck away at the mud for ages... then he's all "Do you want to stop and pray?". hahaha She comes back with "just pray out loud" ... and dig!!! you chicken shit. He starts praying... and like the Shirper Monks that beat the drum to make the sun come up, he prays through the rest of their effort and eventually finds the clue... of course, it's god's work. Oh and watching them beg for cash ... was like watching WatchTower ladies in training... Note: the shirper monks have ALWAYS beat the drum to make the sun rise, so I guess we just don't know if they're for shit or not now do we?
Kami and Karla finally screw up enough to lose. Thank goodness. The also dig in the mud, but manage - it seems (thank you editors) to find the clue quickly. They are, however, "zorbing" in the dark and are rewarded for their effort with a ticket home.
Yeah, well Team CC wins tonight but look at those Rosie’s... all the way up in second place... of course there's only four teams left so that's also third from last. I hope they somehow jump Team CC next week! :D
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