Amazing Race 5 Update!!
God's Promise huh...
It's all about... Colin, the boy with the pouty face. Don't ya just wanna poke his eyes out? I swear he's looking a lot like Damien in Omen I these days. What could be worse? Why his lovely date... the eyebrow girl from hell. And if you're paying any attention what so ever... you'll notice... They're both IDIOTS!
Good Afternoon Racefans...
(aka “A speedy rundown of the show mechanics")
Mirna and mini me foreshadow the shows conclusion when they can't even manage to open their first clue... The teams all cab it to the airport for what appears to be a big show down, but the flight is delayed so they all bunch up again. We get to watch Mirna do her "Charla ... come on..." thing again, and the midget looks basically like a pack dog zipping along the sidewalk. Christie (team CC) puts her narrow ass and outstretched arms in the way of a door at the airport ... because she's really only six, wets the bed and just found out it feels good if I do thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis. Mini-Me just scoots under her arm while Mirna prepares to drive her palm into Christies kidneys but Eyebrow girl relents to bubble about her bravado to her girlies. The teams polarize with the freak show and the Rosie’s on one side and Team CC leading the others. Colin shows his superior intellect by booking everyone on the wrong flight but alas, Mirna, Charla and the Rosie’s don't get an uber lead... in fact that risk it again and land on a bum flight catching serious lag on the race. The Detour is dumb! Nobody goes for the Bee's and in the end it's just a time killer. The bus drivers in Nairobi have totally got the travelers numbers, burning Blue Lagoon and almost knifing his date. Mirna, of course, gets away with the lowest fair. Her good luck kicks in and out and while everyone but Chip "Mr. Hoover" has trouble with the Road Block, eating an ostridge egg, Mirna can't fan Charla fast enough to get the dwarf to suck back her egg fast enough (I swear I was expecting Mirna to have Charla covered in Bee's a while ago). Mirna and Charla are last to the post and I laughed when she put on the teary "look at me go" show. You're extra's from a Terry Gilliam movie... admit it and move along.
Technically Speaking
You all done socializing? Good... get out!
~ taxi to Airport and fly to Cairo
~ get yer best flight to Nairobi, Kenya
~ board one of three (consecutively later) charter flights
~ and ride a local bus to some punk location
~ Detour to play with Bees or hustle a cart around
~ and then it's a Road Block... Eat a scrambled Ostridge Egg (about 12 chicken Eggs)
~ zip line (flying fox...) to the checkpoint.
The Good
When Colin spills his bowl of Ostridge Egg the second time... I cheered. Loved that bit... and watching him take a tantrum... The preview for next week shows him going to jail... I hope he gets a new friend named Bubba who thinks he's cute.
The Bad
Ol Pretty Boy Brandon and his chick Nic-oderm, need to smarten up or they're going to get eaten by a local soon. They get smacked for 40$ to ride the bus that Mirna paid 3$ for... hell, even Chip had to pay 5$. So first he's a patsy, (Brandon) but worse still, he's an aggressive patsy, and his boss, Nicole, is just... something. "It's a symbol of Gods promise!" when she sees a rainbow out an airplane window. Scene change and some black dude with 44 on his ball shirt is poking a bus schedule into her chest and threatening to eat her boyfriend. bwaahahaha...
The Exceptionally Pathetic
Christie and her door blocking thing...
Oh look, a boot wedged in yer ass.
shit.
Um... and btw, watching them almost wretch while eating the eggs... or imagining the spew from some of 'em when they went across that zip line... sick!
The Losers
When Mirna talked Arabic to that ticket agent telling him to not help this "americans"... bwaahahahahahaa... oh god, that was great. Alas, her antics and her slave driving ways with the dwarf are no more. Last in and yer toast. No non-elimination round for you. (although they tried to make us think... for a second.)
The Winners…
Chip and Dale are looking good, but the I'm going die hard and sticking with the Rosie’s. Maybe they'll pull something out of their granny panties next week.
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