Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Big Brother 5 Update!!!

Big Brother 5 Update!!

The Big O 

Where in ... the stars collide, the moon turns blue, the devil jumps out of a man hole with icicles in his beard and my boss must be going to give me a raise, because all kinds of good shit worked out on the Big Bro show tonight!

Loser say what?
(aka "The WEEK in as few words as possible")
Julie, wrapped in a panel of drapery she pulled off the window in her bedroom (can you just see her? "nothing in this closet fits me!! It all just hangs there...") kicks off the Live Orgasm episode of Big Bro. She tells us that we get to see Adria and Nat do their thing and then she delivers one of her many But First’s. The boys put the screws to Adria over swing’en onto their team to fry the Marvelous Marvin, and The Diane Show cast members all buy into the drama. Karen gets a dig in at Scott, live and in colour, and we get another But First.  Diane and Drew’s twins get a little air time as Julie gets Days Of Our Lives over the D&D romance angle, then it’s Diane and her jumpy eyebrow in the HoH answering dumb questions and looking silly.  The axe comes down and bounces off Marvin, embedding itself ever so deeply in Scott. He is flabbergasted and with a four to three vote, and his "oh they all like me" brain begins a nasty meal of reality that leaves him pretty damn close to tears on Julies sticky sofa. The good-bye messages include Jase talk’en trash ‘bout the Holly loss and that leaves Scott thinking Jase nailed him... he didn’t and Julie used all her giant teeth to tell him so. Then the moment I was waiting for... Watching Scott process the double Adria. It was grand. He was freaked and pissed at the same time.  But he was chicken feed to the banquet burger that was served up as Jewls told the house-mats what was coming.  They were pointing fingers at each other, guessing Holly and being generally traumatized, with nary a poke at Adria. Cowboy and Jase actually thought it was Scott’s twin on the way in for a minute but that just highlighted their conceit.  Out walks Nathalie and pandemonium erupts. Everybody totally ignores Julie, blowing her big line and it was an absolute blast watching everyone go through their own head fuck.  Jase took it way hard, falling back catatonic at first and looking like ... well basically like his heart had stopped.  They recover and kick it back to the yard for the Head Boy games... It’s trivia about the house and on question number two... Marvin, Drew, Cowboy and Jase bite the water buffalos dangly bits and end up on the sidelines. They are totally out! Jennifer – Nakomus – wins the day and gets the key so it’s a brand spanking new day.  Jase is right royally fucked.
And the sound of million little voices saying "wheeeee" could be heard throughout the land.

Fav Quote
Karen: "There is a relationship going on between Scott and cowboy that I haven’t figured out yet..." to Julie in the live show and you hear Scott-o-matic giving her the "oh thank you very much..." as they cut away from the house-mats and back to her Drapery-ness.  Always thinking of the dig this girl. I’m totally betting Larry listens when he’s spoken to...

Scott: "I want to clarity that I like women!" when we come back from commercial... because we were all suddenly, like convinced he was a dancing and leaping nancy boy...
Then he helps himself some more with "and Cowboy... I will always remember our time together in the bathtub."

And after the big moment of Nathalie’s intro... Julie is bouncing on her toes, foam coming out of the cuffs of her pant legs... dying to deliver her big line. So she does; "Everyone... meet Nathalie, but then again, you already have." AND NOBODY WAS LISTENING. Bwaahahahaha... nothing... The hg’s were climbing over the furniture, gasping for breath, slapping themselves in the forehead, or, as in Jase’s case, waiting for their hearts to restart.  Listening to Julie was the last thing on their minds.

Most Memorable Moment
Well d’uh... !!! Watching the gang trying to process the data as Julie made these statements... Like "There have been 14 house guests playing this game." and "one of you has been switching with their twin since the show began".  And with Michael punctuating the passage of another ten seconds with "It’s Holy" (even after Julie basically said, "and now both of them will be in the house together"), we get this great montage moment of lightening bolts of possibility jolting absolutely everybody... except, of course, Adria. She stood up and screamed when Nathalie came through the door. Peoples reactions were absolutely gorgeous. It was easily my favorite moment in the full run of the show’s many seasons... surpassing Chicken George when his soda rockets when off in the shower. 
There will be backlash I suppose...
But with five girls... well, six counting Will, that kinda skews things hard core.  I’m guessing next week we’ll see a game like "roaping the bull" or some shit so Opey can win one.

The winner...
I’m still on Adria.

Oh... and Survivor Vanuatu was advertised... starting on September 16. :D

ps. I'm away on vacation starting tomorrow... see you in a couple of weeks.

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