Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Big Brother 5 Update!!

Big Brother 5 Update!!



Button Button,Who's Got The Button



Where in... cowboys cry, white girls dance, and a couple of seriously burned boys have a great big X painted on their heads. It's nomination night and there's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Reggy Hammond... er... sorry, wrong movie.  No, her name is ... well, wait, read the update... then all will become clear. :D



Loser say what?
(aka “The WEEK in as few words as possible”)
When last we saw our motley crew, all but Drew were perched on lighted pedestals, holding a finger against a button on a life size cut-out of themselves. This was the game... hold that button or your illuminated perch goes out, and you go eat pizza.  Nakomas manages to garner "first" off the perch by a nasty slip of her digit after an hour, and, three hours in, Karen elects to bail. We watch various video bits of the players saying how "crucial" this HoH game is to a backdrop of them screwing it up. None makes a bigger deal of winning than Michael... who goes on to slip off, then cry his little eyes out about it. And because I'm keeping score, that's Diane crying over everyone picking on her, Drew crying because the boys lay a guilt trip on him, Adria crying because Drew turned on her, and now... the cowboy bawling because he, um... isn't so hot at pressing that little tiny button. Scott fucks up and breaks a rule at four and a half hours, then, an hour later Marvin, then Adria have their own slips... but neither of them cry about it. Will would rather be sitting with Drew... so he caves. In the end, it's Brad Pitt's stalker and a little cocktail waitress holding out for the long haul - and a long haul it is.  Nine and a half hours later we watch while The GDH (Giant Dick Head) Jase yucks it up making barn animal noises and manages to muff a rule, leaving the head boy job to ... Diane.  So I guess it's time for a girl to get... er.. be head.  She is understandably in heaven, and the girls are a-plott'en.  Scott fancies himself a samurai, for some ridiculous reason, and Jase is one toe suck’en wanker as he makes a fool of himself (surprise) trying to tell Diane how cool she is for winning the game.  (Dude, she hates your ass!)  They blow some time showing us her room, talking about Karen's husband, Larry, and then Michael starts try'en to show them city folk how to be cowboys... and, remembering he's a security guard that has fallen off a bull a few times... he kinda sucks.  There's another big Adria-slash-Nathalie switch, and then it's all about how bad Diane hates Jase.  She does the nominations and our neighbors could hear the cheer when Dee Dee puts up GDH and Scott... the man with no brain.

Fav Quote
Scott: "My arms are like eighty pounds each!" Um... yeah, and you have a big penis too.

Scott, when Diane notes out loud that Scott broke the HoH game rules; "Her pointing me out...was just asinine!" and, you know, Scott wouldn't have said boo if the roles were reversed.

Jase; "I didn't go to survival school to lose to a girl!" WOW... that is, in reality TV show circles, what they call the ultimate JINX.

Apparently Karen talks about her hubby, Larry a wee bit in the household...
Will: "I could recognize a set of Larry's finger prints!"
And, thanks to some insight shared by Karen, we also know that he only has one kidney and that the other was accidentally stabbed... How this happened is left up to our imagination.  Oh, and did we mention that Karen recently stabbed herself in the finger?

AND Karen delivers the best line of the season so far, after Jase tries to make nice with Diane before the nominations; "So, is it hard to sit down with his nose in your ass?" bwaahahahahahaahhaa....

Most Memorable Moment
Because I'm really liking Karen's ass, her stuffing it in the camera at the end to tell us what Scott and Jase can kiss, stands out rather clearly. :D

Estrogen Is Your Friend
Mr. Invisible... aka William, Male Nurse, is laying low and playing the waiting game, while Karen, Adria-slash-Nathalie and Nostrodomas do little happy dances all over the place with the Head Girl. I gotta hand it to Karen, because she's really working the numbers and offering up decent advice.

Team Testosterone
The four well-screwed-pooches are kinda busted.  Drew is sick of them and is probably spending his mornings trying to hide morning wood over Diane, and Jase is giving us loads of "I hate Scott" moments over the ouster of his little cuddle muffin, Holly-Went-Quickly.
Michael seems altogether animated in his efforts to be the Side Show and Marvin? He's trying to lay low like William, but being a) not gay and b) a giant fucking black dude, is gonna have trouble with that little plan.

Tactical
Diane nominates Scott and Jase.  So regardless of the Veto, one of those two dick heads is gone.  I mean;
Karen, Adria, Will, Nakomas... that's four votes for Diane to count on.
Drew will play along, and Marvin needs to cover his ample self... so really... what can Jase or Scott hope for? Michael to come to their rescue? He might be too busy crying to do them any good.

The winner…
I still think one of the twins.  I suspect a backlash, unless there's some new, more evil twist in store for them, but the backlash will only get Nathalie out of the house and then ... Adria will kill everybody.

The last line goes to Karen (who really is little miss sound-bite), when, after Jase and Scott are nominated, we get some Karen in the Diary Room; "They can kiss my..." and she hops up and shoves her ass in the camera making all these little smoochy noises. :D

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