Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Big Brother 5 Update!!!

Big Brother 5 Update!!

Blonde Ambition, NOT.

Where-in... the votes are cast and the house gets a little smaller, Marvelous Marvin runs, the brainiacs use life-savers to count, we meet clueless moms and Julie blows one of her twelve lines. :D

Loser say what?
(aka "The WEEK in as few words as possible")
Things kick off with a bible verse that Adria guilt’s Drew with ... Diane having found the appropriate passage. Hmm... the bible being used as a guilt association tool to manipulate the innocents.... At least we see that some things are normal in the BB house. It’s all about the girls closing ranks and working on the weakest personalities. Adria’s many tears work just fine – thankyouverymuch - on Michael... although she has to endure a crying moment with her face squashed against Cowboys sweaty chest. Yummi. They work on Marvin too, but the real fun is watching the boys tax their mental prowess counting to eleven. Fortunately for them they have some colour coded lifesavers to help them sort out the more complicated mathematical elements. It’s a live show... so WallMart Shopper Julie gets to tell us how things work. She basically has about twelve lines she repeats each week and she manages to blow one of them... hahahaha... at least the editors are on the ball, as seen in their adding a whip crack to Cowboys gesture about Jase jumping whenever Holly sneezes. The spy TV puts Jase’s "Kitchen Kiss" with Holly on a big screen and that gets the boys in a snit about Jase’s focus. That crying jag they sent Drew on comes back to haunt Jase when the boys organize an intervention asking Jase to give up his Holly addiction... and it suddenly starts looking pretty damn good for Adria. BB brings us to Jase’s and Scott’s mothers... both of whom obviously have no fucking clue what their meat head son’s are all about. The votes are tallied and despite Holly’s obvious effort to scare the votes away from her with big goofy faces... it’s a 7-1 route and she is walking the plank to have a chat with Stick Girl. Holly bursts into cackles on several occasions but Diane with her "Thank God and Good Riddance" leaves her nice and bruised. An Den... An Den... An Den... Julie shows her the Adria-slash-Nathalie good-bye video moment... and Holly actually took a good 30 seconds to internalize what was going on... Click [ :: here :: ]*** to see a great snap shot of her moments of wild confusion (can you see the smoke coming out of her ears?) Holly is toast and it’s time to pick a new head boy. BB had earlier taken measurements of all the house-mats and this is what they were for. The kids have an endurance test before them and it’s all about standing on a spot, with an arm up holding a button pushed. The button was on the mouth of a giant cut out photo of themselves so basically they are all standing around with their fingers in their mouths. We’re supped to wait for Saturday to find out how wins the game. I wont give it away but after Cowboy slips off, Nakomas quits, Scott folds, Marvin caves, Karin drops, and Will walks... they all end up watching Jase and Diane hold out for the finish line. Nobody wins it for over nine hours... Think of it... Nine hours with your finger pushing a button. Of course, if the button was on their assholes, you know Scott would have been there all night.

Fav Quotes
Karen, in a moment of pure clarity, advises Adria: "Get to Marvin at the last minute... so he can’t be contaminated again."

And working her way into the hearts of millions, Karen: "I NEED chocolate ... in mass quantities!" And with that great little ass of yours... I can only assume you are deprived of your needs often.

Scott, stating the obvious: "I suck!"

Jase, typical macho dick smack... "hey camera... over here!" while he’s pumping iron.

Holly, in her moments before the votes are announced... "I love all of you... and I, like, totally, like, you know, totally, do... you know, squeak... pop... squeak, love you to itty bitty pieces, squeak, totally, like... oh ma gawd...squeak..." and then a rubber duck pops out of her ass. Oh wait...

That Holly moment is only outdone but her breaking into little piggy snorting laughs when Julie asks her about everybody accusing her of being the Twin Twist girl.

Most Memorable Moment
So Holly is gone... everybody comes back into the house... you know... the scene they will play in black and white to us on Saturday night. The mosey into the living room and start hugging each other. But Jase!!! Why he’s looking positively forlorn. Bwahahahaha... he breaks off and heads to the can to have a good weep. And we see Marvin running from the living room... Surprise surprise... the big lug has a consoling heart... a soft spot for his little Jasey-wasey... er... SCRATCH THAT. Jase steps out of the way at the last second and Marvelous Marvin dives into the water closet to drain off the last few drinks. Hahaha ... I was totally agog that he was running after a crying Jase.
And yes... it was a toss up between that moment and HOLLY’S FACE as they showed her the Adria-slash-Nathalie thing...

Live Feed Tid Bit
~ Michael, talking to Scott about their Uni-Brows actually says "Yeah, one eyebrow... I get mine from my mom." Gah!!!!

Estrogen Is Your Friend
Everybody gets a moment to say goodbye... so Holly watches Jase suck her toes some more, Karen bawls... and everybody does their thing... Then Diane! "Good Riddance" hahahaha... of course, we all know that Holly will go back to her mannequin, her little stuffed animals and her mirrors be just fine.

Team Testosterone
Scott almost talks himself into trusting that he can get Adria to commit to not putting the horsemen up next week if she wins HoH. The boys really are quite dramatically IDIOTS. They go back and forth and back and forth and really NEVER make their minds up about shit.
We endure a video montage of mommy segments with Scott’s mom and Jase’s mom. Both of these women are talking like they’ve never met the boys in this house... and d’uh. That would be because you both think of them as the six year old boys that helped you cut up the greens for the salad. Look at them!!! These boys are wieners, and while Jase may be almost anything including being a wiener... you know Scott is a total rot gut Jar Head. Um... yeah Scott... tell everyone that you make 750,000 per year... because then they wont feel threatened by you. This, of course, is the strategy that worked so well for Lori... you duffus.

The winner...
I am totally reprieved... Adria-slash-Nathalie is still in the house so I’m a happy fan.
And one of her will win!!

*** Go to to see loads of great screen caps from the live feeds.

[ click the banner below to link with the Big Brother section of my web site ]

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.