Big Brother 5 Update!!
Get A Clue Drew
Well, Julie's up to speed with the whole "mess with their heads" thing, but she's still dressing like a throw pillow. Lovely ruffles Jewels. Lets look inside the Big Brother house and wait, somebody cut me a line! hurry! It's eviction night and the 4H club smells blood. Marvin is having his 15 minutes, and you'll never guess who the fag is!
Loser say what?
(aka "The Live Show in as few words as possible")
The curtain opens on the boys as they decide to put the hit on Marv while Lori and Karen get to work on Michael. The girls have do classic high school girl "we'll just sit beside Micky and talk about what losers the followers in the house are" thing... Little sparks start to come out of Michaels ears... and I'm thinking this is just the beginning of the torture he has in store for him. Julie kicks off her bit with a question to Diane, the abused trailer trash chick, asking "what do you miss the most from the outside?" (I swear, it would have made the series as an all time fav quote if she had said "my gun!") She missed her car... typical. Jase makes fun of reading the bible - prophetic, I think, of a potential rift between Drew and the horse’ies - and Marvin drops all pretence of mental acuity when he says that he hopes Scott wins HoH because he's "the only level person here." ahhhhhh! We waste time with a "here's Will" video segment and then a "here's Adria and Nathalie’s family. Then it's back to Julie. Having once again fought off the people that must be on the set trying to feed her something, Julie prepares to address the house-mats and the eviction. You know she's hurting to have a real job when she talks about Lori and Karen’s friendship, saying "and tonight that friendship will be torn apart." Julie needs a soundtrack. Lori gets the boot with her ten G's and everybody but Holly blows her some sugar when she sits down with the crack head to say goodbye. Did you see Lori almost curtsy when she met Julie? We round off the show with the HoH game, played with blindfolds and steps up and down to indicate answers. Bottom line? Drew and his apple pie win the day. Jase immediately turned into some kind of a Reese monkey and began bounding around making noises. When asked what he is looking forward to most, our dear Drew outs with "Going to sleep with my bed mate, Scott." oh puke... Get a clue Drew.
Scott-o-matic is having a quickie bathroom conference with the scary headband gang. Today’s topic... Get Marvin. Why he's out there right now plotting against us! The testosterone is just dripping off these guys as Scot gets dramatic with "we have to fry him!" and he's about to say something else but then notices this thing in Jase's hand. He stops, moves onto one leg, raises a hand to his hair and asks "Is that a crimper?" I fucking shit you not! We're talking the segue zone from American Psycho. I can just see Scott standing there in plastic rain coat.
Jase to Lori: "You're the girl version of me!" But Jase... she's not a delusional smack monkey with a jock strap on her head?
Julie to the nominees: "By a vote of 7 to 2" (pause) "Karen" (pause) "You are" (pause) "safe... Lori you are evicted." One of these years they're going to make one of the nominees puke on national TV doing that...
Most Memorable Moment
For my money the clear winner was the moment Julie flicked on the TV so Lori could watch Adria and Nathalie’s farewell message. How friggen fun is that... Can you imagine if they make it to the five week mark. Marvin will ejaculate on the spot and Will will faint dead away. Er... assuming Marvelous Marven makes it that far.
Estrogen Is Your Friend
The two girls, stuck to their seats as Julie talks them through the eviction bit, get to talk and say their finals words. Karen goes first... and basically sings this love song to Lori. I swear, I expected them to start making out (which would have been exceptionally funny, I might add).
Holly, in her farewell tv sound bite to Lori actually bitches her out about the "I don't want to go before Holly" comment... bwaahahahaa... It's like she turned into that tour guide Barbie at the end of the Toy Story 2 outtakes... you know, right after they told her she could stop smiling? "my cheeks are killing me..."
It's like they are all being secretly fed hormones or something... one minute Scott is about to burst a muscle through his flesh pumping iron, and the rest of the upper body crew are talking hard ass trash about everyone else, and looking they want to bite the heads of some chickens. The next minute Jase is nibbling his baby finger wishing he had a big ol'silver suit, Drew wants to sleep with Scott, and Scott is prancing around trying to tease his hair into a pom-pom. It's whack man! Will is acting like a gay man... word, but Scot is totally acting like a fag. Oh, and they've siphoned off the last few grams of respect that Michael had, draw your own conclusions but I think he's toast.
So the boys have HoH again... Will, Karen, Diane and Nic are a force but two of them will go up... unless the boys are serious about offing Marvin.
You know it... I'm still thinking Adria. I figure if she can pull this off, she will have the advantage over the gang in terms of mental training. When they're both in, there's the worry of a backlash, but that would mean putting them both up. If that happens, one will live and she will chew threw cast iron to get revenge.
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