Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Big Brother 5 Update!!!

Big Brother 5 Update!!

Lobster Mike

Where-in... they play veto, drive Mike nuts, toss someone out, and get a new Top Banana.  There is soooo much over the top vanity in this house that the Fab Five (QEfSG) almost look vanilla. Scott and Jase have ascended to self proclaimed god-hood after what? One week baby... just one week.  The game has hardly begun. Julie plays Twist'o'Rama with us and someone named Nathalie is playing twist'o'rama with all the house-mats.

Loser say what?
(aka "The WEEK in as few words as possible")
It's all about numbers... the number is two... and the two are Jase and Scott. Six days in and those two are completely full of themselves. It's pariah time for Mike, because Nephritis is this years first "pawn".  She's well liked, Mikes not, and he voted for the shrubbery. His ass is grass. So we see some conspicuous editing making like nobody will stay near him.  The days are long and the show is short so ... whatever, but Mike is basically OJ at a Take Back The Night Vigil. Jase, who generally appears to be strung-out-hoping-to-score, is on air diss'ing Holly. She will be so pleased.  They have a "thing" you see. Opy still has his bangs (sadly) and tells sis that they ought to lay low and hold a secret bond. Of course, everybody else talks about their oh-so-secret bond (yer siblings in a disney movie yo!). 
Veto is a new deal with the noms and the Head Boy and their selected three house-mats playing whatever game is afoot. The game turns out to be ring toss, "hula-hoops at flamingos" style and while Mike can toss, he is still out-tossed, so tossed-out is in the offing.  Scott, the closet bi-curious, high maintenance, walking abdomen is handed the veto win by Jase. Will outs himself and the only winner that didn't know was, of course, the republican... (holy stereotype, hahaha, go ahead, shoot me... let me guess, you own a gun.)  We suffer though plenty of Holly talking and making other squeaky like noises, and then notice that Jase does the same thing. There is green atop the goth (dye job), and CBS puts a lame effort into making us think she's a target. 
It's girls against the boys if Adria gets her way... and she's got Lori, Diane, and Nikomas for sure.  It's been boys against the girls ever since Jase and Scott started dressing each other but the girls would rather have Will than Holly (bwaahaha). Little do they know that Will plays both sides of the street... oh wait.
We meet Opy's folks... and... I'm sorry, but Dad has one of those looks that is just made for black and white FBI surveillance photos.  Very nice man... with a three foot beard.  They vote and they vote hard... unanimous to shove Mike out that door... hanging chads and all. Scotts video-byte is basically "I am a god!" so we get to hate him some more.
The next Head Boy game is the "what will the majority say" Q&A game.  The stand out question was "Who would you rather let baby-sit your kids? Scott or Holly." We both agreed that we'd have to go with the dick head, because Holly would probably forget them somewhere. The first round drops three of the four horsemen and in the end... Marvelous Marvin takes the key.
Finally, it's Twist'o'Rama time, when they reveal that Adria is actually Adria and Nathalie, her twin.  They swap places via the diary room and get 15 minutes to transfer data. The one on the outside is sequestered and if they can keep a secret till half way through... they both get to play. Exceptionally cool beans! Finally a worthy element to the show! Julie had sparks shooting out of her ass as she made this revelation.

Fav Quotes
Destined to be portrayed as the bumpkin, Opy gets a sound bite with "That was nervous-ing" after the nominations... and they subtitle it... twice... bwahaha. 

Holly is incredible... like if she just sits still you could probably hear air escaping. But ol'Shaft is all about the conspiracy and says "I think that bitch is a MIT grad!" (no really, he said that…)

Scott, who moments later pats Jase on the ass with a nicely cupped hand (we get slow-mo from CBS on that one), is talk'en Will gayness with the Upper Body Crew (UBC), and performs a little character suicide with "And he's not being so gay that it freaks us out." because, you know, only acting half gay is cool, but once you throw on the red feather boa, the gold lame hot-pants and walk around making an O out of your painted lips, then that’s just too much. wtf?

Jase: "I think I have the intellect to be the puppet master."... Oh my. You are Holly with testicles.... shut up.

Mike and his problem with commitment... "I'd just like to see anyone else win but them... kinda." are his final words to Julie... who, btw, goes on instantly to say the twist'o'rama stuff about the twins.  He must have been like "gahhhhh!"

Most Memorable Moment
Wow... toss up.
Mike doing a convincing, albeit unconscious, George Constanza.
or Will commenting that the Veto game zone (pink flamingos everywhere) looked like a "compact retirement village".
But seriously though, I was stoked by the Twin-Twist. Go Adria SLASH Nathalie.!! :D

Estrogen Is Your Friend
The editors gave us several Holly moments, which all seemed to be ripped from the script of Dude, Where's My Car? She is remarkably whacked out... She arranged a date between her mannequin and some other dudes mannequin.
Karen seems to be lying low and how the hell did Lori get away with fucking everyone on the food/$10G's deal?
Will, of course, has wonderful fashion sense.

Live Feed Bits and Pieces
~ Marve... hard core sexist bastach...
~ Jase and Holy have weird ass romance and end up fighting like an old married couple.
~ Everybody goes idiot on Holly as if she's smart 'nuf to be a mole and a twin sneak. (aka the "big twist")

Team Testosterone
It hurts to watch Michael... still... but Jase and Scott are stealing the show as they are set up for a huge fall. As a lovely foil to Will and his fashion sense, the rest of the guys are abso-fucking-lootly idiots. Enough with the bandanas and hair.  Drew continues, btw, to drip apple pie every time he is on camera.

The girls got a good thing going, but I have no expectation that they can carry it forward. They never do.  Holly is unplayable, and Karen is untrustworthy.
The guys tend to naturally fall in together... no doubt drawn to one another’s testosterone  puddles. But the girls seem to have to work at being cohesive. 

The winner…
Adria (or Nathalie) all the way. I instantly love her.

[ click the banner below to link with the Big Brother section of my web site ]


  • shiver

    You know that shiver you get through your shoulder blades and down your back when you feel cold. Maybe you’ve just left the restaurant and you’re…

  • selfie

    as I read and read and read about "Selfies"... I quietly say to myself... "um... yeah, tell me again how selfies are a new thing." lol. :)

  • Monday, February 17, 2014

    Hiya. :) Today was one of those “oh look… LJ is still there” days. Oh how I miss the old days when LJ was pretty much a playground filled with my…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.