Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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Outback Sports!!!

Another Suvrivor Update

"Let The Games Begin"…. (Mrs. Brady - Tina)

(Note: Special Protocol Number 4 : CBS Authorization to restrain or otherwise incapacitate a survivor.)

Somebody pinch me! Was that fun or what? I can so clearly remember the clockwork precision of the editing from S1 that produced alternate winners each week… and here we have the OG's suck'en eggs big big time three weeks in a row! We got dead pigs, dead chickens, dead fish, and dead tall singers… more fun than a barrel full of totally psychotic 'internet project leaders' with blood on their faces. ROTFLMAO!

OG's: superior losers… no decent food, fire encroaching on their camp, no pigs in site, and they get Scary-Jerri!

KU's: High protein diets, and an entire tribe of future prozak addicts…

Big bonus from last night: How do they settle a tie? Finally a tie in the voting. And right when I was so sure Chief Pierre (Keith) was gonna lead the screw-scary charge (in a way totally different than the 'screw scary' charge that Cheese Boi - Colby - is leading…) we see Scary rescued from the edge of that tribal council cliff by a little common sense. Mrs. Brady reveals that on the road to council, a plan hatched…

Lets, see… what should we do tonight? Well we have to kick someone off… Lets not toss anyone that manage to walk un-aided all the way to tribal council… CAN YOU BELIEVE suck boi singer dude Mitchell? "I am a ginormous total suck hole and you guys ought to kick my sorry ass right over that cliff, cause I AM WEAK, I AM A LOOSER" And then… even after that, Scary and Amber still vote for Chief Pierre… ??? wtf. So a second tie and down to sudden death - which seemed imminent to ol'malnutrition boi Mitch any ways - and thank the stars that Chief Pierre had a moment of doubt about the Mitch at a previous council meeting… seems to break a double trouble tie they tally the history of votes, hence Chief Pierre's single previous vote against Mitch struck the killing blow.

I am reminded - at tribal council - of the scene in Monty Pythons The Holy Grail where they travelers have to "answer me these questions three" and when they get one wrong… "ahhhhhhhh" they get tossed over the cliffs of despair!

Symbolism: I physically flinched! They're talk'en to Chief Pierre and he's going on about how much in love he is with Scary (LOL) and right when he's saying basically that she's the devil the camera pan-zooms down to his knife penetrating the neck of a fish in a death blow THEN switches to lock on to Scary's face elsewhere in the camp. Oooooohhhhhhh!!!!

My favorite player, Amber, is starting to have some colour… so far it's looking like the reflected colour of Scary-Jerri. She did however, manage to say something about how easy it is to convince Cheese Boi of anything. I just can't decide if she's a player that is smart enough to hitch up to the cannonball (scary-jerri) or if she's just another lamb heading to the altar.

So, who else is sick-to-death of The Mouth going on about meat issues? To paraphrase the local paper… Does she crash her car every time she drives past a McDonalds? Get a grip Mouth baby… Now, that said, I can't understand why Ms. Silver Panties didn't go with The Mouth when she needed to walk out of camp while they ended the dreams of a career in medicine for the that first chicken. Talk about heartless… then again, she (silver panty girl) does have all those cold sores to deal with… I guess she's a little tapped… or wait… maybe she's just dy'en to ram a piece of dead pig down The Mouths pie hole and watch her squirm… Don't cringe… just watch next week!

Alrightty then, if the OG's lose another critter they are gonna enter the "merge" woefully outnumbered. Just on the strength of that I'm thinking that the KU's are going to have to lose a little… maybe the challenges next week will be like Pie Eating contests… the KU's will be so full from their high protein diet and the OG's will be famished… you know, the guys with the CHIEF, the ones that are starving to death.

Farmer Bob (Roger) was doddering about helping with the slaughter house activities, much to the chagrin of Coconuts (Elisabeth) who looked ready to either barf over the kill or pop her eyeballs out of their sockets with every bite of chicken or pork… - she bugs me, not sure why yet, but … none the less.

The Hatchling (Jeff) managed to say "Pig" in that goofy southern rather effeminate drawl of his a couple of times last night but otherwise… managed to shut the phuque up for a change… LOL… in the face of the completely psychotic behavior of Gone-Native-Boi (Mike) I don't blame him. I can only imagine the frantic walki talki calls going on between the camera crews and the production execs when they sleepily started rolling film on Gone-Native standing over the sleeping forms of the tribe mates holding that knife looking like Nurse Ratchet should be along in a moment to administer the morning 11 million volt wake up call. What a whack job. "Hmmm… I need to kill all the EGG LAYING chickens real quick so the gang will want me around to kill a pig later…"

(camera man pulls out his radio… crackle crackle… "base, this is crew two… base, you there…", "we have a situation here…" "we may need to implement special protocol number 4" looking around for a big-ass club!)

Next week has got to be a hard time for KU's … I think Scary may just rip someone's throat out if they lose another immunity challenge. I'm watch'en for total Mouth melt down, and something… anything, to happen with nick… Oh wait… he did have a moment last night… They're eating some chicken meat and Nick says (no, really he does) "Once you eat black, you never go back!" AND THEN HE turns around to lear at Ms Silver Panties… OMG.


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