April 6th, 2010


Tuesday, April 6

So back to work...
... and a cloudy day to go with it. :)

~ pj pants...
~ although... I was all suited up today...
~ got up at 3:00... 3:00! ... seriously.
~ shower shave make lunch eat breakfast and at the civic campus of the hospital by 4:00. la la la ...
~ out of the giant donut and home again by 5:30
~ wake up kids, feed 'em, lunches and back to work by 7:30... again, la la la...
~ welcomed coworker jessy back to work (she's been away) with an apple fritter
~ long day with my head down finishing document edits and making the slide decks to go with... (big presentations on the 14th)
~ gym at lunch... dude! I can do so much with my right arm now... it's awesome. It's still messed up inside but I can totally work it!!
~ quick perimeter groceries on the way home...
~ made awesome chicken kiev for dinner!!! omg... garlic butter actually squirting out when I cut it...
~ now? Now I'm like zombie boy ... holy tired... AND I have to be downtown giving a presentation at ... sigh 7:30 AM... gah!
~ at least I have little Hershey eggs :D
~ to congratulate kitiara on the whole "done with physio" thing! :D
~ that it doesn't rain for the next three months... seriously...

Because I thought I was ready and informed...
... and I wasn't and wasn't,
I will now share my MRI experience. :)
Highways, and hospitals are quiet places at 4:00 AM.
but not the MRI department.
The MRI thing is a giant (6 feet tall) white completely glazed donut that looks like it's made of plastic and it's ten feet thick!!
On TV and stuff... you see people laying down on a table that slides automagically into the donut hole feet first and blah blah blah...
The thing is no matter what you see on TV or hear from someone like me... you cannot imagine how loud it is.
Not until the very last second, right before he presses "go" on the automagic part, did I find out that I would be ... "inside" for 20 (TWENTY!!!) minutes.
I lay down... with my HEAD pointing at the donut hole. He puts big ass ear-covering headphones on me (he whispers sweet nothings to me over the headphones)
He kinda straps my arm down to hold it perfectly still, which also straps the rest of me down too.
He puts a squishy thing in my left hand ... "squeeze that to shut it down and slide you out if you're freaking out".
Button push.
The table kinda raises up a bit and then in I go.
I was sure this was going to be fine.
Now... it wasn't horrible ... it's just ...
The top of the donut hole slides past... 1 and 1/2 inches above my open eyeballs!!!
I shut me eyes and try to forget.
I start to feel as though my body is turning like a propeller... slowly but ... picking up speed.
I open my eyes...
Bad idea. So I close them again.
It seems ok... the propeller kind'a backed off a bit.
Sweet Nothing: "Ok... first picture will only take about a minute. Ready?"
(Thumb up and mumble "sure".)
For a full minute there is this loud banging noise, like a someone is hammering on the donute with a crackly electric sledgehammer.
Each bang changes tone, slightly. So ... it kinds builds - in your head.
Open eyes for a test...
Still totally wrong thing to do.
After six or seven centuries... it stops.
Sweet Nothing: "Ok... that was good. Next one will be about three minutes..."
Totally different noise.
If you were standing beside the "giant laser emmiter" on an intergalactic battle cruiser...while it was cutting a swath of destruction across the galaxy... you would be hearing this same noise.
This went on for ... as he said, three minutes.
I refuse to open my eyes.
Sweet nothing: "alright... that was also good. How are you doing?"
Thumbs up...
Sweet nothing: "Ok... next one is six minutes."
Sweet mother of fricking god...
Six minutes... aka: the time it takes a 25 gallon pail of house paint to dry ... in the pail.
And the noise is different again.
Loud as hell... banging away like a crack head that got kicked out of Stomp.
It ends and ... I have to stay there for like seven more years while he validates the images...
Automagical table slides again...
"Ok, you can get dressed... we're all done."
~ and that technician listens to that shit all freaking day long?
If you were really clausterphobic...
... no way in hell are you getting an MRI while concious.

May the universe reward my own private Vaun with heaps of what ever qualifies as "the good stuff".
This guy is way over on the win side.
Epic win.
(guy who happened across my journal, doesn't have one, but has maintained contact for years)
~ and he's my source for all things physio therapy smarty pants. !!!
So yeah... just saying... Vaun rocks.