January 20th, 2010


day after...

It's awake... my ouchi.
8 tylonal 3's in the cupboard turned into 2 since yesterday.
Z has the script for more with her and will bring 'em home after work.
I'm guessing today is the "big day". Yesterday was waiting for the other shoe to drop
and last night was when my body really internalized what's been done...
So today is about the ouch settling in and my body retaliating for being so cruel to it.
ar ar ar...

I have very few spoons today. :(

I'm using my arm as the barometer.
See... my shoulder doesn't hurt.
At first... in my fog ... I imagined "Oh, my gut must really hurt, because it's eclipsing my shoulder to the point my shoulder doesn't hurt. :)" weeeee.
Then it dawns on me that I am chocked full of codine. So d'uh... of course my shoulder doesn't hurt.

My gut, however, constantly hurts... just not "horrible".
So I lay still... read... relax.
And if I notice the shoulder hurting, I know the tylonal is wearing off. :)

I only woke up once in the night.
Just felt weird.. needed to get up and walk around a bit.

As I sit here typing...I notice it feels way better to sit than it does to lie down.

I do believe the admiral is going to have to play a roll here.

... and, I will be fine. :) I just have to take it easy and not get depressed about the gym and re-lumpifying my body.

oh, and my employers emailed me...
they wanted an updated CV. LOL.

Wednesay, January 20

~ my fav shirt/tie combo... all artsy today... mostly 'cuz I look like shit
and I like this picture. :)

k... it's wednesday.
The day after.
We'll save the gag-me-with-a-spoon bits for a little lower down. :)

I'm at home officially doing nothing.
Well... ok, wandering from the tv room to the kitchen replenishing coffee and eating fiber-rich-poop-factory food bits... is, in fact, something...
but it's not a lot.

A long drugged out night of waking up wondering what time it was ended when I got up as suzy left for work.
I had visions of sleeping half the day away.
I had visions of winning the lottery and spending a month fighting my way out of the playboy mansion too.

I wondered around drinking coffee and watching defying gravity and californication all day.

I is a sloth.
This is an unappealing lifestyle in practice, despite it's warm and cuddly appeal while safely in the land of "wouldn't it be nice if..."
I look forward to being repaired.

~ the sox I wore to bed. I think I'll be changing those soon. :)
~ pj pants, and ftls pulled up nice and high so the elastic waste band is above mr. sicko-bandage. low ride'en is a no go, so I'm going for "old man walking a miami boardwalk" look with pj pants, sinched around my ribs.
~ warm stuff too. I find I've been a bit shivery all day.
~ nothing.
~ like... literally ... nothing.
~ somebody else can plan today.
~ eh... full of wishes.
~ that cynnerth has fun with Mickey...
~ that yumikid enjoys her contentment...
~ for pageeater to hold onto those moments...
~ for the center to find it's way back to dotcombabe
~ and for the very sweet nerdular... to somehow get reminded that life is...and will always be... full of opportunity. You are not closing any real doors... just slipping a screen into place for a bit.

Birthday moments...
A very happy birthday to my sweet friend, so far away, in quebec city... (with all the bad drivers!). HB little-c. (carorules) May the truth always set you free and may your heart simply sore... (pinch).

So in keeping with the long tradition of being a bit graphic and icky...
I bring you the short story of Hernia #3 (part one: chop day).
Back in 2001 I lifted a tv and tore a hole on the left side of my tummy muscles.
The doc repaired it by opening me up, tucking my intestines back in, closing the rip and sewing a little "mesh" over the rip.
In 2004 I managed to get another rip, except this time on the right side.
Again... operation, mesh, and fix.
Somehow, over the last half year, my physical activity came up against the mesh, holding togehter hernia number 1.
The mesh lost... and I had what looked like a smallish Mars bar tucked under the skin on my left lower abdomin.
It's soft... it's not painful.
But it gets painful if you do anything that taxes the muscles in that part of your body.
It gets achy... it can get super achy... like, limping achy... but not normally.
So I saw the doc and arranged another 'cut me open and fix this'.
I asked for the "Shaped like six pack abs titanium plates" instead of the mesh...
But it does not appear to have been taken seriously.
Yesterday, Z dropped me at the hospitat at 8 and by 8:15 I was in a gown, reading "The Lost Symbol" in a waiting room.
Had the requisit visit from the doc, the sleepy-maker, and the nursing staff... all asking "So it's the left?" (Doc marked it with a big X).
By 10:10, I was being rolled into an operating room.
Nurse missed first attempt to line me.
Anethesiologist (hahaha... totaly sp???) dude nailed it quick and presto.... I'm a reverse slurpy.
After a little idle banter, it's drug time.
Nurse puts this very soft breather mask thing over my mouth and nose... kinda "holding it against me hard" and say'en "just breath deep..."
Dr. Sleepy-go-bye-bye starts pumping the creamy, whitish liquid into the line ... I remember saying "oh... here it comes..."
And then I'm waking up in recovery.
Saw a few folks in the day-surg recovery zone who were worse off than me by far... so I tried to suck it up.
I mean... really. sigh.
Suz had me home around I-don't-remember-when...
And I maintained a solid codine wall of numb for the whole day.
Now it's today... the hospital made their follow up call and sorted me out on how big the ick is...
I'm reassured that all is well, despite the pictures.
The cover stays on for another two days, if I don't get any wet in it...
It hurts to not-be-hunched-over and I can't lift anything heavier than a milk jug without feeling it.
So.. this is me for a few days and then ... then things will start coming around.
I just have to totally stay down and not do anything.
Yoga in a week ... maybe...
Some cardio in two weeks...
weights again, in four weeks...
sigh. :)
(Warning: can see the blood under the clear plastic bandage, and this is my lower ab... you've been warned)
[ :: totally icky picture of the bloody cover as soon as I got home :: ]
[ :: same sorta shot but either this morning or last night :: ]
There's some serious serious brusing building up around this.
You can see the growth of it in the second pic, along the top of the bandage.
Stitches are on the inside, steri tape holding the hole together,
and the bandage sealing the deal.

not gonna shave all week.
my nominal act of rebellion. :)
~ k... see u soon. :D