March 9th, 2006


Thursday, March 9

Ok, so last night was a complete washout. I almost remember posting the "I have a migraine" note...
I crammed a 20 mg imitrix up my nose (nasal injector) but it had expired four months ago...
Suz was still at running... I had the boys doing their spelling... and I was... (literally!) holding back tears and trying not to retch...
On the phone to Wallmart Pharmacy to see if I had a refill on my 'script... There was but it was getting "old" so I had to convince the pharmacist to fill it...
Z got home at 8:15 and I asked her to got pick up the script at 9:00 and then I hit the sheets.
Propped up on enough pillows, so I'm basically "sitting" in bed (head above heart or the pounding in my head would kill me)...
I got a fresh imitrix in me at 9:15... all the intervening time was spent in a daze of numb un-awareness.
I noted when Geo climbed in bed with me so he could just "keep me warm" but I have no idea when that was.
Next thing I know... it's 6:55 and the radio is beep beep beeping at me.

I had been dreaming... a very vibrant and realistic "feeling" dream.
I had a "bead" (plastic thing) that I was throwing at the ground - it bounced - and catching.
My runners were half off, you know when you cram your foot in your shoe and the heel doesn't "go in"??
and I was jumping in time with the bouncing bead. And I was jumping REALLY REALLY HIGH... like six foot jumps... like I had springs in my shoes.
It was amazing.
Before all the broken legs (5 between grade 8 and grade 12)... I was el'jumper'magnifico... it was "my thing" as a kid... I could high jump like crazy... or just do a standing back flip... It was fun... but it's a distant memory. I wwwway no longer have the knees for that stuff. :)

Head ache feels like it's gone... but the tummy flu persists..

~ blue stripee ftls
~ khaki cargos
~ black turtleneck
~ two tone tommy sweater...
~ rewrite the proposal I gave my bosses yesterday... their red-pens were active last night.
~ finish a report called "ITSM and IMPACT" for my client
~ post the AR update I wrote at fencing last night...
~ drive wary wary carefully on the way home... (freezing rain day)
~ watch survivor and revel in not (crosses fingers) having a headache tonight.
~ to thank my little family for taking such good care of daddy... :)
~ to smile at ladymeg1... she's really an amazing young woman...
~ I could send cruise tickets to basically everyone on my f-list... imagine a Carnival Ship all to ourselves... :)
~ that the days and nights... go well for nextproblem... I do pay attention Em... really.
~ and that lynspin has a great day! (just 'cuz)

Birthday moments...
Happy Birthday to joggingguy... a man my age! :D You're a busy man there bro... and I'm sure this will help you live a long and fruitful life. May this birthday mark a moment of great happiness in your world. :D
Happy Birthday Ward!! (wbahner)... and enjoy the camera accessories, et al... (birthday bag concept sounds fun!). May the year ahead keep you healthy and may you never lose track of your friends.

Listening to a radio documentary on how things are today in Kosovo, the Albanians, and the state of affairs in their "reconstruction" zone after the wars that tore them apart so many years ago... I was struck with the very real notion of just how messed up things are going to be in Afghanistan and Iraq. I mean, forgetting about the DAILY BOMBINGS in Iraq... Our troops... Canadian, American, British, Australian... etc... are going to be mopping up blood and mud bricks over there for the rest of my life. It is so sad... so wasteful. When... At what point do governments conclude that they cannot bend people around the world to their will?
I mean - and I'm being rhetorical here - but if we're so completely certain that these other countries (afghanistan, etc.) pose real and present dangers to our countries... threats of WMDs and total fear of what threats they represent... then lets bomb them back to the stone age... wipe them off the planet... eradicate all life there... But ... if not... if we can't justify that action (and, believe me... I don't think we can) then we should really let the be the masters of their own fates. They wouldn't be threats - in my opinion - to our countries if we'd leave them the hell alone and stop trying to rape their resources and manipulate their economies.

[ :: THIS is a picture taken yesterday, after work... They've started the second floor framing!! :D :D :: ]
~ you know... Things change so fast about the house... it's amazing. :D :D I have to go there, pretty much, every day to record the progress.

I'm doing EXCELLENT with the road rage thing I talked about ... like a year ago. I had an incident on the road that embarrassed me and highlighted my sincere need to re-evaluate how I handle stress while driving. I admitted it or "talked about it" in my journal as a way to force myself to face the issue. I'm happy to say that a year later, I honestly feel things have changed. I actually drive slower on the way home and listen to more talk radio ... and I'm finding that the calm I can hold onto while driving ... carries over into the rest of my world.
So that being said... I want to just also say that I wish I had a fricking bazooka this morning so I could have blown a nasty fucker off the road who cut me off.
~ grin.

Ok... time to be working boy.
  • Current Music
    Garbage - When I Grow Up - Live Bootleg San Fran '97

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Amazing Race 9 Update!!


And they're off... and propagating every stereotype known to mankind! The HoHo girls are offering up booty, the MoJo girl is filthy, the Frat-Tastics are actually expecting to score - and wont - and the nerds share a moment of sweet memory when the sugar sap makes a mess.

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the hand

(no subject)

reposting a comment I made to a friend... because I want to keep it.


I have little sympathy for those that commit suicide,
let alone threaten or try it.

We all live in the same world.

We don't have all the same opportunities and
"the world" sure treats some of us worse than others...
but we're all here together.

There is a time to ask for help... and time to die.

They're just not... at the same time.

Which is what suicide is all about.
Asking for help that's not coming,
demanding attention that's not coming,
looking for compassion ... that's not coming.

Giving help, attention and compassion, when suicide is on the table...
only justifies that action.

And that's wrong.
  • Current Music
    Rush - Heart Full of Soul

(no subject)

three things...

~ we had a showing today. We had no idea. It was a "mistake" on the part of our agents office. So they came and saw our messy house. omfg was I pissed.

~ we have a showing tomorrow at 10:00 am. We've been cleaning all evening. Funny how we're presenting a more lovely home to fricking strangers than we ever have for friends or family. !!

~ the suicide thread... Know this... I have no answers in life, just opinions of the moment.
Your feedback on that thread was most enlightening and appreciated.
You guys are amazing. :)