May 4th, 2005

newavi

Wednesday, May 4



So I woke up and there was no cop at my door with a reckless driving charge... so I unlocked last nights post.

I spent last night grappling with my demons and ultimately reached for an epiphany of sorts.
I know I'm making a big deal out of it... but it's a big deal to me. mmk?
From your side of the net... it's prol'y hard to grasp what I'm all about here...
Suffice it to say that the way, the intensity, the frequency... etc. of my rising to frustration in my day to day life has to change.
Whether that's behind the wheel of my car, in my relationship with suz, or with the kids - as they dare to be... kids.
I am quite serious when I say that today dawned as a the first day in a new world.
I simply refuse to let this happen again... I mean, I want this! I want it more than I wanted to quit smoking. Dude... so no fooling around here.
The price I will pay with my kids for being too quick to flip out... will be much too great a cost for me to bear. (bare? bair... ... sigh... I despise spelling)
So we'll see how this pans out in my journal... mmk.
I did drive to work without any aggression... and that's a good thing. :)
(ps. don't get me wrong... it's not like I run through my life with a hatchet out, swinging... it's just that I tend to build up and burst instead of ... venting... or something)

The sun was out and beautiful when I woke up... and, strangely enough... it's still sunny. :)
This is the sun that marks the first day of the rest of my days... and they will not end with a heart attack brought on by over-stressing!!!

wearing
~ gah... I went through two outfits again this morning.
~ settled on black stripee ftls,
~ dk blue dockers
~ gray t and a p-z long sleeve.
planning
~ helping to keep senior dudes here at the cube farm from flipping out at the bid stress builds up a head of steam.
~ LOST IS NEW TONIGHT!!!!!!!
~ to see a guy about a horse...
~ more work on the video. :)
wishing
~ to send big big congratulations out to Amy... jaggedpill on the birth of her little baby girl, Maggie (April 27), 7lb, 2ozs of healthy wee baby. Both are doing well... despite mommy's lack of sleep. :)
~ and speaking of babies... I'm hoping all goes well with cockermom over the rest of this trimester. :)
~ may the fourth be with you? hahahaha... thanks henman...

// MUSIC
[ :: Garbage - Girl Don't Come :: ] ( a "you send it" mp3 download... great song!)

//
The Daily Show the other night... included a segment with a fake Laura Bush speech from the correspondents dinner on Saturday night. Her actual speech was funny... but the fake one... holy crap... I swear it was just insanely tasteless and sick ... and ... and... just wonderful. :) If you can find it... I recommend watching it ... :)

//
You will be the boys you are...
And you will be mirrors.
When I want to know love...
I look to you and find my joy.
If I want to know myself...
You will both be my guides.
As you are, is as I have been...
And I want you to be the best I can be.


Time for back-to-work.
see ya.
  • Current Music
    DJ Envy - 11 - Nikka Costa Feat. Beanie Sigel - Like A Feather (Remix)