February 10th, 2001


last day in fla

hey... sheesh my homies sure need some love'en.
lets start with a review of today, k? Up at 7:45 and in class by 8:30 ... a phuquing beautiful day at Disney... warm (80's - and don't get mad at me if your living in snow... I'll be back in the snow tomorrow) and clear.
The course was basically what I expected... heavy pace and all intense...everyone was worried about the exam... theres a 30% pass rate... so, statistically, 70% of the peeps in class will FAIL! suckas! This woman in class started loos'en it a bit and when I got up in class to work my leg a bit (I have a wicked issue with my leg lately ... very ouchi) she turned on me with one of those "don't be such a pain" faces and - dig this - she "shhhhed" me... I guess I was stretching at the back of the class to loudly... so I imagined bitch slappen her for a while and got back into the material. (she'll fail and I will be happy... :D very evil, I know).
I wrote the exam and I'm open to the idea that I don't know shite and failed miserably... but I really doubt it... I'm feeling large about it and I'm hoping for the special shirt you get if you score over 90% :D go me!! :D
Tonight we (moi, my boss and my coworker bud... ahhh forget that, Kim and Tim k?) went to the Cirque de Soleil at Disney Downtown. The show is called La Nouba AND IT WAS AWSOME! really fricking expensive, but wow! Hello, Krisza you there... I thought about you a lot when I was there.
The girls around here are sure ugly and dress awful NOT. sheesh.
We had dinner with rafiki and timone (and I got pic's to prove it - but I'm not posting any pics till after I get home...)
I've spent the last three hours catching up with lj buddies and packing... home tomorrow. I can hardly wait till I see my fam. When I talked to Ed tonight he says "bye daddy" then my mom pics up the phone and says that he turned the phone handset around and gave it this big kiss!!! then hugged it. I cried.
ok, I gotta sleep... and I still have an hour's worth of lj reading to get through... a total labour of love. you guys are the best and i live with the ongoing wish that I could reach out and hold hands and talk good vibes with all of you.
ps. ick? be nice! everybody has feelings... and you only get so many actual friends, the rest are only sorta-friends. :D
  • Current Music
    some head bangers on the radio

hey lakme ?

well well well... regardless of you're vanishing journal... I'm going to continue working on my response to you're question about how to face the idea of leaving school and getting on with it... "it" being life, of course.
I already miss you... just knowing you've taken a powder is enough to spark all kinds of worry and wonder... i sincerily hope you are well and that you'll come back when you're ready or have the time.

on friendship

hmmm.... from much earlier today:
hiya lj... coming to you live from about 20,000 feet over some state on a sunny and clear beautiful summer (ha!!!) day. I was checking out the assortment of gifts i bought for the boiz before I packed 'em up and noticed a bit of visual weight on Ed's side so I figured I'd even things up a bit (remarkably important to keep things even steven...) by getting Geo a little something in the Disney store at the airport... just a little "Pluto" stuffed thingy... and then I went and left it in the security station AHHHHHH! crap.
I'm about 4 hours away from being in 10 feet of snow and 6 inches of ice... (more 'crap!') :D
on friendship.
I have come to realize that honesty... completely ignoring any effort to wear a mask, can hurt a friendship in the RW. It's not that I want to wear a mask to disguise myself but rather that some things need to be left unsaid so that acquaintances can become friends in response to some mutually understood desire. The alternative seems to be that you end up creating pull back in your relationship... stuff you worry about having said being an issue or judged harshly... Keeping in mind that I'm talking about real world relationships, and the seeming necessity to hold shit back, I am sad to see so much punk-ass activity on lj. Punk-Ass in this case is the harsh judgment thing. lj is a relief from the stress of holding stuff back... as my precious friend lianna said recently "an exhale at the end of the day...". (oh, note, I've just changed planes in Pittsburgh and an now on a dornier 328 jet-prop commuter plane making the final leg of my journey home...).
I don't expect or deliver the complete picture in my journal... guess you just gotta be me to get that... but I know that its a clearer picture than any real world acquaintance/friend is gonna see.
I'm going somewhere with this... really.
I once talked about having a list... a list of things that I want to do before I die. "Four Wheels Air born in San Francisco" while driving a rental, in honour of Michael Douglas was one thing I've crossed off my list and written about... :D Well, I'm adding a few names from my lj friends to the list. I've met a couple of LJ peeps and those meetings were wonderful. The sensation of instantly being at ease with someone has lead me to think that there is the potential to establish friendships that transcend the maximum possibilities of other RW friendships. A remarkable accomplishment - if i can pull it off - in these days of mistrust, isolation-al-ism, and fear.
The point: I want to meet some of these people so much that I already know it could hurt to loose them forever... you know who you are...
Bonus point: somebody did a little "judging corto" last night based on a post I made to a friend. It wasn't harsh, but it was push'en... I know what this friend deserves to hear (she's a fantastic girl) and I love to say it... makes me feel really good and I'm pretty sure it feels good to hear... my immediate reaction was defensive, then anger and then I gave up on both of those to try to do a little peace making... I mean, if she was nasty about it I guess the correct reponse would have been to deleter her posted reply and ignore but that was not the case. Now the issue is "will I feel less likely to post in the same fashion again?"... not a chance blackdreams, not a chance.