Big Brother 4 Update!!
Wow!!! Talk about going out with a whimper.
Of course, showing the jury the tapes - what did they do? Toothpick their eyes open and strap ‘em to a chair? - was a total mistake. A hail of automatic weapon fire would have been appreciated as the gang assembled to reveal their votes.
Dear BB4 HouseMats;
Now that you have voted for a winner, and had your final moments of glory, let me take a moment to offer up a thought or two;
Yer a bunch of sniveling weasels and I hope you all realize how utterly forgettable you are.
The show... the season, was a blast - great gobs of fun - and it even could have ended on a high note for all of you but you were too far gone into your fantasy land of self importance to catch that wave. Once again I found myself yelling at my tv screen that "this is a game! A game for MONEY" Honour has nothing to do with it. The thought of you bitching out that honour left the building is ridiculous... you are a group of blacked pots calling the kettle a burn victim.
Good riddance and I hope they have a better group of players next time.
"I’d rather vote for the turtles..." Rob, you head-mining magnum of dumb-ass, you would rather date the turtles... shut up!
Justin: "Jack you rat bastard!" upon seeing jack at the finale after watching the tapes and seeing his "Dana you have the sex appeal of a buzzards crotch!" bwaahahaha.... A buzzard with monstrous gums yo! His backtracking (Jacks) to the camera was just as funny... something about "er, I did find this one buzzard attractive..." hahaha...
Dana and her reaction to Jacks buzzard comment? "I would’ve thought that would be a plus in Alabama..." A room full of spiteful candidates for the next innovation in lobotomy procedures. Gah!
Most Memorable Moment
This was easy! When the jury was given the chance to ask the Jun and Ali questions over the plasma cam (which was like, last Saturday, btw) they asked the typical "why should I vote for you..." and "what was your biggest lie?" etc... and, of course, the girls blow smoke up everybody’s ass trying to figure out how to say "It’s a fucking game you dipshit!" but with sugar on top. But Jun... Jun responds to her question about "why should I vote for you...?" with a sudden moment of TOTAL GAME. She very firmly says "I didn’t get ahead by kissing everyone, hopping in bed with everyone...." Etc. Her answer added up to "I manipulated all of ya, but I wasn’t a trash infected slut bucket while I did it... And Alison was!" Man... that was the defining moment for Jun. Alison practically imploded as the impact of this settled on the jury. Her lips (Alison’s) started to shake. Hahaha... She knew she was toast right there... no question. In fact, she let her guard down after that and returned to her more natural body language... you know... slightly bent over, mouth open, like she was waiting for the next football player to leave the field.
Estrogen Is Your Friend
No, estrogen is not your friend. In fact, only Michelle, who still has not replaced urine in her blood stream with estrogen, was the only person in the jury room to be clear about why she wanted the rest of them dead. They fried her cute little ass because she was an easy target and she knows it... blaming each other is old news and didn’t fool anyone.
And while we’re on Estrogen... Nathan and his retarded peasant shirt really needs to go on hormone therapy soon and just get it over with. I though he was gonna cry when he had to face Alison again...
I never noticed before the Finale... but Justin’s hair... thinning across the top is going to morph very nicely into one of those "hair on the sides and smooth bald across the top" deals any day now... and he’s what? 14 years old?
Dave’s romp with Amanda was rehashed but they did that all in front of Michelle, who has the intestinal fortitude of a nun at the Playboy Mansion. I swear she will be on xanax in three years and divorced twice by the time she’s thirty. She needs to toughen up a bit. Maybe this show will ultimately teach her that. The WHOLE GANG however, was pathetic in their machismo over Dave’s pecker action... not a single one of them turned to Amanda to give her the High Five that they were laying on Dave. We all know that Dave had sex on national television because she let him... not because of any special plan of his. She deserves the high five for getting some action and she’s probably going to get more mileage out of it than he ever will.
What the fuck did they show them the tapes for? I mean, it guaranteed that the "reunion" would be a bummer. They could barely clap when Jun was announced the winner... talk about a bunch of sour grape sucking wankers.
CBS made a mistake trying to get the last few moments of the house-mats action to be built on arguments. We (the audience) needed positive vibes and a sense of excitement to end it with a smile. We didn’t get that.
Congratulations Jun... you deserved to win. You played the game all season and watched these other losers screw around with "dream teams", honour and general idiocy. I’m sooooo glad Alison didn’t win... and, of course, I hope we read about a steroid induced rage from her idiot boy friend Donny. Start greasing up that finger Alison...
Just Me Talking
Ok, so I know I started this season saying I wouldn't have the time to write about every show... and low and behold... every god damn show! geez. Guess what? I had a blast! I suppose this sounds very pretentious but I really love doing this stuff... not the show... writing about it. It's been fun trying to entertain you and myself with this season. Thanks. :D
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