Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Big Brother 4 Update!!!

Big Brother 4 Update!!



Boys Make Good Pets.

That title is from the shirt Jun was wearing in a game played on the show. So it’s Alison, Jun and Rob... The Devil, her hoe and the worlds stupidest man all spinning deals worth nothing and trying desperately to be just a wee bit slimier than the other... At some point this stops being fun, and when that happens I’ll let you know. For now... I’ll continue to enjoy watching the lowest humanity has to offer fight for blood money.




Loser say what?
(aka "The Show in as few words as possible")
We open in the middle of the HoH game, Part One "hold the key the longest, while we turn the snow cannons on you." Jun muffs it and gets mad at herself... about 32 minutes into the game. Rob then accepts a pathetic offer from Alison "I’m 99% sure I’ll take you to the final... if I win." (Egads Robert, you are so seriously dumbass I can hardly stand to see your face...) Rob also reviews the notion that he called Alison and Jun every name in the book... er, he reviews this with them and they are, as expected, all bent out of shape. So with Alison winning Part One of the HoH game, the kids are treated to a guest in the house. A Mime... and he clearly needs to be killed, but alas, this being television, that’s not happening. After 2 hours of "Mime Time" the house-mats are ready to rip him a new asshole and they discover that he is just distracting them while the old "Desert Bedroom" is redone as a mini home theater for a luxury win to see Grishams as-yet-unreleased-movie "Runaway Jury"... and to get a spot on the Red Carpet at the Hollywood premier. The game is this thing about throwing Velcro sticky balls at the Mime and Rob wins. He elects to take Alison as his guest. This leaves Jun alone and while she’s all bummed, Mime-dude returns and almost gives her a heart attack (which would have been serious fun). They goof around and rag on Rob and Alison ...er well, Jun rags while the Mime... mimes. Rob wins another America’s Choice and gets to have a net-chat with the public.. hahaha... yeah right. That was seriously filtered yo. The kids also got to see plaques with Fan Web Pages reproduced to give them the pump up – so I’m guessing the whole "I hate Alison" web site thing was left out. Part Two of the HoH game is another Trivia Game requiring a wee bit of mental acuity and memory... hence Rob loses. So it’s Jun and Alison up against one another for the HoH and the Game! Now listen... Alison and Jun are fucking evil. We get a little of Rob bad mouthing the girls... but the editors have been saving us from the endless litany of shit that the girls have been spewing. Their tirade against Rob when he was out of ear shot that included calling his daughter a little bitch and plenty of Cuban race digs was edited out to keep their family time slot but made it into the papers... http://jam.canoe.ca/JamBigBrother4/home.html

Fav Quote
"every year, we would make snow angels in the snow wearing our bathing suits..." Alison begins another "psych-out" session... as she watches Jun and Rob get buried in snow...

"... he must be on crack!" An accurate description of Robs mental prowess as he says....

"Yeah, Julie asked me why I called you bitches, traps, sluts, and whores..." Good lord you freaking tool... a spoon has a vastly superior intellect!

"I would feel safer with you and me in the final than with me and her [ Jun ]... Do you understand?" Basically, Alison telling Rob she thinks he’s a loser... and he replies with a big chuckle and a happy "Yeah." ... So he agrees... loser-central here we come.

"That little witch needs some time on her own..." Ali on Jun being alone while she and Rob suck up a luxury prize. Alison’s head begins to spin counter clockwise as she floats over he bed. The exorcism has been scheduled for immediately following the "reunion show".

"I wipe the floor up with Jun!". Yes... Alison continues to ensure her circle of girlfriends will be non-existent when she’s out of this house.

Most Memorable Moment
The freak Mime wearing the evil mask ... chasing Alison around the house was clearly memorable... of course, I was hoping someone would have dropped that Mime guy and carved him up... But then again, I hate Mimes... so I’m biased. When Jun is alone with the Mime she asks him what he thinks of Rob... and the Mime goes on a head-mining thing that was pretty funny. (Rob, the Amazing Nose Picking House Mat).


Estrogen Is Your Friend
Alison’s bottom lip looked positively yummi when she burst into tears evicting Erika... and she grew evil little horns in the diary room seconds later saying those tears were just an act. Alison is so amazingly duplicitous it’s almost scary. Alison still thinks Donny is waiting for her... and dude, he needs to run. I mean when they get together her only chance is to get naked, lay down, put his nuts in her mouth, her finger in his ass and let him beat off onto her tits... and if he punches her in the face 50 or 60 times doing that then she can just chalk it up to punishment for being an evil bitch. Er... ok, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever said... sorry. :D hahahaha...

Jun is no prize either but comparatively speaking, she’s a princess...

Team Testosterone
Rob cracks every time something challenging or surprising happens... I’m guessing this has something to do with why he is not a full time dad.

Tactical
Jun against Alison and Rob wants nothing more than to get the girls fighting. They talk like they will fry his "Cuban ass" tonight but I dunno... Alison cannot win against Jun and neither can Rob. So if Jun doesn’t win the Queen Rat job she will be the toast that the other two butter tonight.

The winner...
Jun Jun Jun!!! Alison will be struck by lightening if she wins and Rob simply cannot win...

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