Survivor VII : Pre-Show
Pirates and Their Booty
The Pre-Show moments... and the Pearl Islands are all about pirates! Arrrrg Me Matey! That's Pirate Pete, and he's Pirate Joe... one does the limbo and the other does the hornpipe!
Survivor 7 will be played out in the classic local of Pirates, Cut Throats and various other deviants. The "Crews" are named Drake and Morgan... of course, I was hoping for Bill and Ted... but believe me when I say, my vote doesn't count. A meaner, nastier, more cut-throat-esque band of marketing execs and cheerleaders you'll not soon meet... arrrrg! One Crew ... one Island, other crew... another island. So I'm guessing there'll be some pirate ships.
The show starts on September 18th... and September 19th just happens to be "talk like a pirate day"!! [ :: no really... check it out! :: ]. Nice co-inky-dink there...
The Map!
Thanks to "Survivor Maps" we can get a preview of the location and some images...
[ :: The Map of Survivor 7 :: ]
[:: The Survivor Maps Web Site :: ]
Drake
Burton: A cliché Pirate if there ever was one... Burt's a marketing exec, owns cattle and golly, he's an eagle scout. (and before you check... unfortunately none of the other survivors is named Ernie).
Christa: Ok... engaged, web geek, a model, lifeguard, extroverted with a criminal record... She's like a "dream girl", except for the "engaged" part. Clearly selected to fulfill the "wench" requirement...
Jon: Telephone sales... hobbies are girls, music and tv... you know... a tool. Oh... and he wears one of those hats.
Michelle: another lifeguard / cheerleader type... hobby? Gymnastics... Okedoki. More pirate booty...
Rupert: ok... good lord! [:: click for a pic :: ] Hagrids' scary looking little brother. Dollars to doughnuts he grunts a lot. The guy is a gravedigger and a nurse. Geezus. Please don't let him be the gay one!
Sandra: oh boy... an office associate who thinks her small knowledge of hunting will help. I wonder if they'll kill some animals this time and freak PETA out.
Shawn: a Twin, a salesman and an advertising exec. hahaha
Trish: Well, she was a cheerleader... in the 1800's and has grown twins. She's a member of Mothers of Multiples, and no doubt wishes she was a member of Mothers That Still Had Multiples.
Morgan
Andrew: A Lawyer... you know, "first up against the wall when the revolution comes" type o'guy.. (except for lawyers named Glenn!)
Darrah: Yikes! A mortician "slash" funeral director who likes hunting... and voted most beautiful in college. She must know a lot of one-liners!
Lillian:The Boy Scouts Scoutmaster... They will love her day one and fry her on day two.
Nicole: Remember, good "survivor skills" have never meant much in this game... and Nicole brings massage therapist, bartender, and gourmet cooking to the table. She's got game before it even starts.
Osten: A grad of Business Management, proud to have worked on Wall Street and enjoys boozing with the "fellas"... Fellas? Who says "Fellas?"
Ryan O:Two Ryan’s this time... and, of course, they're both on the same team. This one's a traffic signal tech with a 20 year old cat. Bet that cat's a real chick magnet.
Ryan S: Look out! a produce clerk with five dogs and one three legged. You know produce-clerking is going to really help out here.
Tijuana: Voted Miss Webster and was a cheerleader and a cheerleader coach... Now she's into "stunt cheerleading". I'm afraid to ask... but "stunt cheerleading"??? wtf?
Ok, lets review...
No seriously... It’s like something out of a Douglas Adams book... a bunch of marketing execs and telephone sanitizers battle the elements in the Caribbean!!!
Drake has Rupert, four marketing people and three cheerleaders... and Morgan has three cheerleaders and a marketing exec, a lawyer and two losers. Drake has the upper hand already.
The Plank
An image from Survivor Maps...
Personally, I hope they go to town with the pirate theme.
Two things...
~ I saw something about them getting NO FOOD... so maybe they will actually have to "survive" a little... but they turn into sickening skeletons when they are given food... so they’re going to look mighty evil.
~ no really... which one is gay? There’s always a token gay guy...
Note:
I get a great deal of enjoyment from writing these "updates" and fielding response... please feel free to comment. Know in advance that I like these shows but mostly because they are so much fodder for sarcasm. If the language and references I make in writing the actual updates offends you... I don’t much care... mmk. :D That being said, if you like the updates... tell yer friends and post links...
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