Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

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Big Brother 4 Update!!!

Big Brother 4 Update!!



Close only counts in Horseshoes... and Robert’s got a butt load of those!

As dumb-ass as this season has been, there is no way the producers could have expected the plot to become so complicated and convoluted. This was a fun episode and the ending was, without a doubt, a big surprise. Now if we can just get the current HoH to evict himself we’d be off to the races.



Loser say what?
(aka "The Show in as few words as possible")
Jun’s the Queen Rat but Ali has all the power, thanks to Jun nominating her. What will Alison do? is the big question... Explaining the complications of the situation just about taxes poor animatronic Julie as she stumbles in her monologue. Robert and Jee sit out back with little "I’m fucked" dialogue bubbles over their heads while the girls are dancing in the kitchen. Jee’s all about spite and Juns’, apparently, all about clicking her own mouse in hotel rooms. The many lies of Robert are a focal point but that gives way to Snap-On-Wig Julie talking turkey with Jun and dissing Dana and Justin as "The Man Troll" and "The Midget". (nice) The producers are about ready to wet themselves over how convoluted the plot has become as we head into a "live veto" moment. Alison goes for her Emmy with a play on words as she uses the Veto to save her Double-E-Ass*. She just about gave Julie a heart attack... But, alas, (earwax) Julie lives, so we move on to the votes. Rob went up in place of Alison so the boys get a moment to talk, pre-vote. Jee delivers one long ass kissing bit of drivel, and Rob, fresh from calling the girls Bitches, Sluts, and Whores... does a little ass kiss’en of his own. Of course, I’m thinking bitches, sluts and whores are about the only asses his lips ever touch so go figure. Erika and Alison stick to the plan and fry Jee’s weeny little self so it’s down to three chicks and a girl hater. How fun is that? Dude... You aint seen nutten yet... The next King Rat game is played out, between Robert, Erika and Alison. It’s a game of guessing how the jury members completed key phrases... Alison takes an early powder and spends the rest of the game looking a bit dim... you know, looking normal. Erika has a lead but ends up tied with Robert. The tie breaker question is math... Rob is a total idiot and it shows in his answer (How many hours have passed since you got here) but the game calls for you to NOT GO OVER the correct answer in your guess. Rob is off by 634 too low... Erika misses the correct answer by 6... too high. Right answer 1434, Erika guess: 1440, Robert 800. Rob, surprising everyone by the sheer size of the horse shoe he yanks out of his squeaky little sphincter, takes the King Rat key and the girls plans seem utterly toasted.

Fav Quote
"I think Robert has some issues with the opposite gender." Ok... Jee is obviously looking for the Understatement-Of-The-Year award here.

"She’s a spineless bitch..." um... gee Jee... how do you really feel.

"I don’t respect the type of game she is playing." Man... what a freaking tool. Jee, repeat after me... five hundred thousand dollars!!!!!! What exactly has "respect" got to do with this?

"Lets check in on the Jury house and see how The Man Troll and The Midget are doing..." Geezus stick girl, midget or no, Justin can still whip yer skinny ass.

"I would love to go up against Alison." Clearly, Jun, you are not the first person to say this...

"I choose not to use the golden power of veto... on Jee, and use in on myself instead." Oh you are such a trickster...

Julie: "I think you had everyone’s heart in their mouths... including the staff!" Can you just see the camera men and set directors, etc. all standing there with their jaws slack watching Alison. Hahaha...

Most Memorable Moment
Ok... you know how Julie gets the current HoH to talk it up in the HoH room for a moment before the big moment on the live show? Ok, so this week she’s got Jun in the room and asking her about her strategy. I was seriously taken aback by how completely together Jun was. I have always liked her but she came off as a total gamer at that moment and her stock shot straight up... Go Jun Go!
Note: um.. watching Jee’s asian eyes puff up after the video-good-bye messages was kinda fun too... I wish they held it long enough to watch him cry... hahaha...

Estrogen Is Your Friend
Girls girls girls... Look at who is still here... Jun, Erika and Alison. Fly back to the first episodes and who could have guessed.. .(well, actually... ME!) I’m taking no small amount of pleasure to see Erika and Jun in the final four. I’ve had them pegged since day one.
Stick girl asks Jun about what she liked about being out of the house... her reply was something like "having my own room and a bathroom to do what I want when I want." Ok, does that spell masturbation to you guys?

Team Testosterone
Rob... you ignorant little turd... I hope the girls pull head game after head game on you until you cry... picking your nose over and over and over.
Oh, and Robs prol’y gonna get the America’s Choice deal... which is a phone call via T-Mobil to home.

Tactical
Yeah, so Rob’s the HoH. He’ll nominate Jun (he hates her) and Alison (he hates her only slightly less than Jun) and he does not nominate Erika (because he actually wants her back now... man boys are fucking idiots). Is there another Veto? I can well imagine that there is one more. The problem is that Erika thinks she can win against Alison so she will vote to fry my girl Jun. ahhhhhh!

The winner...
I don’t know how she can do it... but Jun deserves to win and may yet win. :D

* Double-E-Ass: Ever Expanding

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