Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Big Brother 4 Update!!!

Big Brother 4 Update!!

The Federal Bureau of Idiots
So Jacks an idiot after all... cool. Jee is on day five without smokes and Alison holds all the marbles. At least this time they’re not all hairy and attached to football players.

Loser say what?
(aka "The Show in as few words as possible")
Jack? Get the hell out of this house. 54 days is quite enough. Alison, get ready for BF Donny to wanna whip you with a garden hose... kick his weeny ass will ya. Erika is saved at the bell while Jack is being tortured by Julie. Big Bro is pimping for the white folk, as we watch Justin and Dana embark on a week of sweaty sex. Julie, nipple free with her clip-on hair, gives us a Queen Rat memory game... and then sneaks Jun - the new Queen Rat - out the back door to go the MTV show in NYC. So much for "cut off from the outside world."

Fav Quote
"I am like the plague... and now I’m spreading through the house." Exactly like that experience of yours in the dorm at college eh Alison... except that time everybody just had to wash with that cream.

"It’s because of my failure to win HoH that I’ve put Erika in peril." Jeezus Jack... what the hell? You live’en in a Tom Clancy novel here? "peril"... bah!

"when I see her... I will be screaming and yelling!" oh man... Somebody send a banner to Alison warning her about the can of woop-ass that Donny boy will be opening up on her when she pulls back to his football playen ass.

"I’m doing my best for myself and for my team." WTF? For your team? Yeah, Jee... real Team Spirit there boy.

Jack: "Hi Julie... I’d hoped to meet you much later."
Julie: "Yeah, they all do..."
Julie you are so wishing you had a real job...

Most Memorable Moment
Had to be the vid moments of Alison’s boy friend, Donny, bristling about her slutty behavior in the House as they show us little reminders of how trashy she’s been. It is, however, a game for five-hundred-thousand-dollars... say that out loud... He’s a pussy and too small to make it in pro-football so this is the closest thing he’s ever going to see to wealth. Yet he manages to take the short view and TRASH TALK HER HUGE on national television. Dum dumb dum.

A long winded version
It’s "get the hell out of my house" night and Julie, resplendent in her cast iron chastity belt and clip on hair, revels in delivering yet another attempted BB head fuck to the house mats. The "girls against the boys" alliance angle is being played up nicely and we all wonder about the world that Jack lives in. Julie draws a speech out of Jack and Erika so they can fawn over each other on national television... gag! Then the fun begins... We get to see Donny again... Donny is Alison’s ex boyfriend... er... well, she’s still kissing his picture at night but he’s none to pleased with her slutty behavior. The thing is, he’s two years younger than she is... and she’s like twelve, so he’s an immature jar head football geek who, most likely, lives and dies based on what his fellow jar heads say about him. He says he’s going have a shit attack on her when she gets home. Ignoring the social significance of the real possibility that he’ll actually kill her (and will Julie ever feel special then), I hope to hell she kicks him hard in the testicles the second she gets home for being such a cocksucker to her when her entire universe is being fucked by this show... nobody comes out unscathed dude and her ho-biscuit behavior will punish her for years. Donny you are a total punk and deserve to suffer for your ignorance. Not that I’m loving Alison but geez. Ok... enough of that... Jee jabbers on about his great intentions and his "team" (what team exactly?) and we hit the live vote. Jack gets to play how-toight-is-your-butt-cheek with Nathan again, because his ass is grass after the girls vote to fry Jack. The vote amounted to a lovely "EAT ME JEE!" and I loved it. Of course, that just means we have to put up with Erika for a while longer. I notice that a profile of Julie shows that her lips look remarkably like a short duck bill... but then Disney made her from spare parts so go figure. Erika whispers "Jee threatened Alison and that's why she voted to keep me!" to Jack as he’s walking out... now that prol’y means that out of spite, Alison fried you... but you know... WTF... Erika knew perfectly well that Jack was on his way out because she was in on the convo with Ali and Jun. Julie forgot to take her Prozac this morning so she was feeling a wee bit bitchy. She tosses "they all do!" at Jack when he mentions that he wished he was meeting her later... then she goes on to get him to admit to being the worlds biggest idiot re: he says he did not throw the competitions... gah!!!! And then, while he’s down, she puts a spikey heel against his temple and grinds a bit with "So why didn’t you go for the golden veto? Where you in there for friendships or for the money?" bwaahahahaha... Jun finally steps up to the plate and gets herself anointed as Queen Rat after a memory game about stuff BB was sneaking out of the house while the kids slept. Little things, like statuettes, wall hangings, chairs... but BUT when she gets the key to her groovy new room BB asks her to go into the diary room. There they tell her she’s on her way to NYC to be a guest on the MTV Video Awards show and out the door she goes... Meanwhile the house mats have no idea... nothing. Last thing we see is the group of them ... waiting for Jun to come back out of the diary room.

Something From the Live Feeds
8:00 AM BB Time, August 28
~ how exciting... Alison explains that she has been having trouble with her tampons. How much trouble can you be having... I mean, sorry to overwork the joke, but like... since when did you have trouble getting something in your snatch?

So Jun finally wins HoH. Of course, she ends up on an airplane instead of holding court with the other losers but that’s ok... she’ll be home on the weekend and they’ll all have time to work her over. (Now, I wonder if they’ll make her eat PB&J on her trip to NYC????????) She’ll nominate Robert and Alison... and Robert had better go! (no I do not know whom she will nominate... I’m just guessing... and I’m prol’y wrong).

The winner...
Go go Jun-y-girl.

All the BB4 Updates will be available on ....
Corto's Web

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