Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Big Brother 4 Update!!!

Big Brother 4 Update!!

Canadian Bacon eh!

What a bunch of freaking morons! These people are so seriously gender challenged I have no idea who has stones and who’s got the pomegranates. One thing is certain... Alison has killa calluses on her knees yo... no question. Oh, and as much as Nathan likes Jee’s nipples... he really doesn’t like his ass.

Loser say what?
(aka "The Show in as few words as possible")
It’s the veto show... the boring one. Twenty seconds of story and 45 minutes of filler. "You betrayed me... It’s my duty to come after you..." Well now, that kinda wraps up the mentality of the whole deal doesn’t it. Alison revels in her drama, while Agent Idiot, The Gay Guy, and Boob-job all sit around shaking their heads and wondering where they went wrong. Dana, utterly and supremely fucked, is trying to come to grips with this and seems to have greasy fingers. Nathan is feeling the pinch of orientation suspicions and makes some Shakespearian protests. He’s riding Alison in every way he can, except the way he pretends to want, and Jee is getting wood for Justin. Rob, after wining Veto rights, reminds everyone that he left his testicles in a jar by the front door, and does nothing with his veto power. Dana continues to feel like she’s about to meet Stick Girl. Justin gets his kicks at Jee’s expense and Jee? Well not minding the Korean accent digs gets everybody distracted with a moment of depth over the anniversary of his daddy’s death... death from lung cancer... so of course, Jee has a smoke to celebrate.

Fav Quote
Dana, talking to Justin, imitating Jack, giving hell to Alison; (follow?) "Why didn’t you put Justin up? I told you he’s a threat!!"

"I want to grab her by the hair and throw her in the pool..." Now HMS Jun is just kidding with that but somehow, I can see her in a cat fight.

"This is primetime beef..." Dude... Nathan is so going to come back to haunt you.

"Jack is sneaky sneaky. Erika’s sneaky but she’s stupid about it." Hahaha ... good girl Jun.

"You got some Canadian bacon sized nipples man! Those are some big nips..." Now you might think Nathan is talking to Boob Job, or maybe Jun... but no... now when Jee has to reply with "Why are you lookin at my nipples?" Then again... "I don’t like your ass" earns Nathan a "Wha’d ya looking at my butt for?" from Jee. Nathan, it seems, cannot get enough of Jee.

Jee, however, is taken... "We’re good buddies... I really care for him." Wohoo... well Jee why don’t you give Justin a great big smoochy kiss then.

"I like women!!!" ya-huh... well Nathan, keep talk’en white boy.

Most Memorable Moment
When Justin comments that Alison’s boyfriend (Donnie) is safe because he doesn’t wear makeup the camera flashes to the never-ending girlification of Nathan-Pretty-Boy. Nails, toe nails, face powder, hair... Just cut his pecker off while yer at it... Nathan is not helping the cause as he decides it’s time to comment on Jee’s body and he delivers that quote about Jee’s Canadian bacon sized nipples... whatever that means. I was laughing my ass off trying to copy that quote down.

Estrogen Is Your Friend
Dana is slowly melting... she’ll prol’y deliver a few good cracks tonight and if she gets tossed... well, it would be a great deal of fun to see her go mental. Erika is all about deciding that she’s been asking other people to do her "dirty work" and that it’s now time to "get dirty". Yeah, whatever. If you can stop crying long enough to have a complete thought I’ll be shocked... stop stressing Erika... go get another tight t shirt and try not to smile ok?
The good ship HMS June, departing the kitchen at regular intervals, is still working the overlord plot with Jee and I’m certain she has the inside track. She’s on the block and continues to cook for everybody. Alison has managed to alienate herself from the only people she can reasonably consider as confederates as she continues to play the game by reacting with emotion to freaking everything... "Does this mean we can’t cuddle?" to Nathan when he’s obviously pissed at her for not nominating Justin. If he’d just tie her to the bed and let Dana have her way with her for a while... we’d be good to go.

Team Testosterone
Well, Jee is all about liking Justin... Nathan is hung up on Jee’s body parts... Robert is a little wet Kleenex and Jack? Agent Idiot still doesn’t get it.
Erika and Jack are falling into the ma and pa kettle roles, mostly because they’re totally stupid... Justin and Jee will morph into the Menendez brothers soon ‘nuf and off the two of them.
"I got a girlfriend back in Oaklahoma" "I like women"... Nathan, methinks you doth protest too much brother... or is it sister?

Tactical... HA! The Veto game was this Battle Ships thing that involved uncovering face pictures by removing square yards of turf set out in a big square out back. The house-mats had previously been asked to position their own names on a grid and the face prints were lined up like ships on a battle ship board, except diagonal counts. If your four face squares are uncovered, you’re out. Rob uncovers his own face (Pinky? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?) and still manages to go on to win. He could have saved Dana and had Justin go up... which wouldn’t have served his interests at all... So... see ya Dana.

The winner...
Still Jun... Dana is toast tonight... so expect the editing room to make us all think Jun is going.

All the BB4 Updates will be available on ....
Corto's Web

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