Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Big Brother 4 Update!!!

Big Brother 4 Update!!



Jacks In The Box

An eviction show! Oh boy... a crusty old guy that refuses to accept that the immature behaviour he is being subjected to is nothing more complex than other players exercising their self interest. Jack whines non-stop tonight and is only outdone by Erika’s omnipresent tears.



Loser say what?
(aka "The Show in as few words as possible")
Stick girl, and her scary gap walk us through another week of votes, and editing room manipulation to bring us to an eviction. Jack provides plenty of sound bites in his panic about getting the shoe stuck in his ass, and Erika cries. Robert foreshadows his life as an inmate, Dana ensures that her doctors will have several refills noted on the bottom of her xanax prescription, and Erika cries... David does his best forest gump , and Julie reminds us, in a BB3 player visit, why we hated Keara’s guts, (and my my my did you see the unsubtle change on Amy?). While we’re sure Jack is walking out, the votes are in and the actual threat is tossed... leaving Jack to absorb what this actually says about him and Erika to nurse a killa guilt complex... what’d ya bet she cries? Oh, and Alison manages to get the most little balls in the hole so, in a classic moment of "funny how things work out" she ends up as the Queen Rat. Boy did she ever want a tiara to go along with the job. Bet’cha she makes one.

Fav Quote
Jack is about ready to shrivel up with anxiety as the votes approach. He’s certain he’s toast and, of course, it’s all Dana’s fault. Pretty well everything has been, according to Agent Jack, Dana’s fault.
"Her brains are in her pants!"
"She’s got the sex appeal of a buzzards crotch..."
and my personal fav...
"I’m sleeping on my back ‘cause I’m afraid Dana may come in here and stab my ass!"

Somebody finally capitalizes on the happy juxtaposition of words... as Dave comments that "... everyone will vote jackoff!"

Robert is prompted by Stick Girl to talk to his daughter; "I can’t wait till I get out... so I can see you." Keep on this path and you’ll get to say that with a number on your shirt...

Most Memorable Moment
Rangers don’t hug man!!!! Dave gets the boot, talks to Stick Girl and then is greeted by his surprise guest... some ranger dude in full combat gear... So they shake hands... Dave tries to pull ‘em in for a kind’of half shoulder bonking hug thing but they both end up taking two paces back and the camera’s last view is the two of them standing 10 feet apart saying "How’d you like those bears!"
I was kinda hoping that Julie would say "and we have a little surprise for you David... here to greet you is... Scott!" and have Scott burst through the door after David’s blood.

Estrogen Is Your Friend
Holy freaking crap... A cry baby, a so-full-of-herself-she-may-explode little bitch, a skank so skanky she leaves a trail, and genetic science experiment. At this stage I’d be willing to trade the bunch of them in for Amanada and Michelle.
Really Erika... enough. You’re features are already drying up from all those tears. Find something else to do. "I didn’t have a daddy when I was growing up... and Jack... sniff... wwwwwwaaaaaaaa" Oh gah! And what? You replaced a lifetime of not having a dad with 20 days worth of an idiot like Jack? No wonder you got a boob job. You have the self esteem of a bag of grass clippings. Now, of course, after voting for Jack to leave... being one of only two people to do so, you will be consumed with guilt and most likely treat us to several more bouts of teary episodes... joy.
BB hands the kids some toys and says practice... With the HeadHoe competition coming up, everybody practices... but none as hard as The Head of the Glee Club and her Wesley. "Farm Boy... fetch me that pitcher". The game is all about making little blue ping pong balls drop from a water-fountain size water jug and land in this little tube. Get the most in over a fixed time and get the robe. Well everybody flames out on that game except Alison and Jack, but Buttercup wins by one Ball... "My Wesley always comes for me." Alison looked like she was going to explode when her victory became obvious. She has taken every single decision and moment of truth in the game with the deepest personal reactions... no doubt she will be a bitch on wheels as Queen Rat.
Jun? She’s just sliding around the house on her labia ... what else is there to say?
Dana spent the run up to the live show with her tongue stuck to the bottom of a light socket, while Dave flicked the lights on and off... or at least... that’s how she looked. She has totally gone over to the dark side... expressing her serious hate-it-tude for Nathan because he chose to play his own game instead of hers... She utterly fails to see the hypocrisy.

Team Testosterone
Well David got tossed in a 5 - 2 vote. Erika and Alison were the two Jacks. I’m hoping Agent Mulder uncovers the truth... but, of course, he would need to have a fully formed adult brain first. David left and totally understood why. His exit was all class and nothing pathetic. Actually, the only pathetic thing about his exit was when Stick Girls animatronics speech servo’s started misfiring and her speech became slurred. They’ll have to oil Julie up a bit for the next show.
Nathan, Robert, Jee, and Justin... the four horsemen of ... of nothing. A hick, a dick, a suck and shmuck. If Justin ever wins anything we’ll all be surprised. Jee will be too busy kissing Jun’s ass (mind the slime). Robs a dick... and Nathan is still gay, he’s just too bumpkin to know it yet.

A bit from the Live Feeds
3:36 EST, 30/07
"You know that guy... the Neighborhood guy? [ Mr. Rogers], He died. Wild dogs ate ‘em. He was up in Alaska dog sledding. He’s old and couldn’t defend himself and the dogs ate him. No, really." Dave convinces someone to believe another outright lie. He’d have done well to be such a great liar and never admit the truth. As he played it, he found the humour in pointing out everyone else’s gullibility. Big surprise they tossed him.

Tactical
Tactical? Well that would imply intelligence wouldn’t it.
Edit: All that seems important here is to remember that there will be even votes so Alison could vote in a tie!! (rats)

The winner...
Screw you Erika ... you’re a whiny toad and I’m sick of you. Jun, skanky as she is, is the only player that seems to be earning enough love from the potential jury to win so I’m changing my bet.

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