Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

BB4 Update!!!

Big Brother 4 Update!!

Never Trust A Woman In Velour Pants

We've got slime by the but-load, "fish gut and people" stew, velour track suits, and young half naked girls rubbing goo off an older gentleman. This has Emmy Awards written all over it ... don't cha think?

Loser say what?
(aka "The Show in as few words as possible")
Dr. Evil (Robert, self proclaimed evil overlord) and Idiot Boy Jee (IBG) kick Alison and Dana out of their beds. Then everybody scurries about building little dramatic "I hate so-and-so" sessions and sneaky little plot moments. BB distributes swimwear - boxers for the boys and, of course, unflattering bikini's for the girls (and Jun has a lifetime membership to the ugly bum club yo). It's a "collect the slime" game to win access to the hot tub, aka the thin, pretty people machine... and then a King Rat competition. Jee and Justin get plot-cozy while virginal Michelle snuggles Nathan in a shared bed... earning the obvious disdain of Alison. Alison, not to be confused with every other March Break blowjob machine, calmly agrees to an alliance with Justin and then demands that the Nat's evict him first. Their agreement is undone by the outcome of the King Rat game when Justin and Robert agree to drop out if the winners, Nathan and Alison, agree to not nom them. Nathan gets HOH, thanks to Scott and escapes from Michelle.

Fav Quote
"Are we done conversating?" ahh Scott... there are so few educated people to select for these games...

"That's all you got for me?" comments Erika to a camera after the ex's arrive...

"I gotta wake up every day and see her face!!" Yes Scott... the producers now officially love you.

"You're here to have a good time? Go home and play with yourself!" another Erika comment, generally delivered as she holds court with the Teen Girl Squad.

Most Memorable Moment
The hot tub is up for grabs in the luxury competition... but to get the key the swim suit teams have to move goo from a kiddie pool to a bucket... getting it there by scooping it off other people only. This is slow going until Alison remembers Jerry from BB3 with his huge ass diaper looking bikini bottoms holding water and starts loading her ass with goo... nice. Pretty much like any other Saturday night for Ali.

The Naturals
(aka The "I was here first" crew)
The Nat's got first shot at the beds... so BB gives the Ex's "Bed Passes". As fun as that name sounds, it only entitles an Ex to kick someone out of thier bed. Robert takes Alison’s bed while Jee takes Danas... and he can't understand her misgivings... So, naturally, Alison and Dana are on the war path.
At some point Pretty Boy Nathan gets in the water closet with a couple of girls to plot - dumb - as Jee comes to the bathroom area and overhears them.
OMG does Alison ever come across as a dumb ass... When BB puts up a "The Power Is Up For Grabs" title on the plasma she's like "What does that mean?". She goes off on Michelle in the diary room because the Pig Tail Girl "knows nothing about anything..." I'm sensing a wee bit of the green monster in Ali...
Erika, Dana, Jun and Alison are quite the Teen Girl Squad and I bet they bring Amanda in before long.

The Ex's
(aka "the reason you watched...")
Justin and Jee team up... Robert works his way in and Amanda and Michelle just coast. Michelle is so fucking cute it's making the rest of the girls physically ill. She's 19, perky, two feet tall, and looks like Heidi in her pig tails. The boys will not toss her for ages. They are seriously looking to fry Jun however... and the Nats will be sick of her skanky ass soon too.

Estrogen Is Your Friend
Jun seems to be trying to recreate all the high school girl moments she can having little bitch sessions and talking about the boys and generally doing her best to be perceived as a terrifying slut. You know the type... whether she's actually got a mattress with shoulder straps is hardly relevant. Nathan, officially becomes one of the girls - I'm telling you he's gay!! (guess) - with an in-the-bathroom conversation. Alison? Justin thinks he is going to own her ass, but when she grows a second head he'll get the picture. The girls generally wrap the boys around their fingers with the scooping goo off chests action during the luxury comp. If a boy is first to go... the girls could grow a brain and realize that they can rule this game if they wanted. BB will certainly ensure that the abundance of mammary glands in this series get plenty of air time and continue to divert the boys attentions.

Team Testosterone
The King Rat game, to earn the coveted locking bedroom and snacks, is this endurance deal with one person kneeling on a switch that, when released, dumps a bucket of fish guts on the other team mate strapped into a lawn chair. Jee pairs with Erika because he wants to make sure she doesn't win, but Justin and Robert totally fuck it up by making a side deal to avoid nomination if they let Nathan and Ali win. Scott, magnanimously offered to solve an odd man out problem with picking teams and for his effort gets to pick between the two winners. He picks Nathan... If Pretty Boy holds his deal with Justin and Dr. Evil, Alison's demand that Justin go first is out the window.
The serious cheese cake moments were weak but there's still the whole "pumping iron" deal for the next show...

I haven't seen anything with Jack forming a side deal... he better or the age game will play out... Meanwhile, Jun and Dana do serious cooking duty to curry favour... and that'll work right up until the gang is eating PB&J.

The winner...
I'm still seeing Erika as on top... (wait for it... ) as do all her boy friends... (ba da dum).

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