Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

A bit on The Amazing Race... :D

The Amazing Race
Excellent use of swear’en words, pointing fingers, a screamer, and threats of sabotage. You guessed it... Line Jumpers. The worst...
...


The Good
~ Weezer and Geezer... totally flamed out in glorious moment of truth as little osbourne guy (Josh) makes an astoundingly bad decision and treats dad to uber pig headedness. They’re out! But they probably got more out of this exp than any other duo in the history of reality tv. "Sometimes, you know... Dad's are right."

The Bad
~ That wench... every time she actually does anything... or is bitchy enough to be allowed to make a decision... she is wrong. That's gotta hurt. "Will you let me do the next roadblock?" Kelly demands of Jon (aka the cave-in guy). She opens the clue and finds she has to change 4 race car tires... bwaahahaha...

The Pathetic
~ The Air Traffic Controller / Depends spokesmen dudes... are, for no conceivable reason, acting like the game will reach a fever pitch with a Euchre tournament or something. There is not one fully formed knee cap between the two of them, although they have the body mass of a packed grade 2 class room. I swear, these guys are Air Traffice Controllers in Mayberry. They slogged along tonight in last place, save for the foolishness of Weezer.

The Sad
~ These guys are a big honk’en bunch of whiners... It’s a race!!! And they’re all about giving people that go for the gold a hard time and acting like they are owed an apology by the new leaders. Me = patiently waiting for someone to tell another team to go fuck themselves. The improbably named Tian and Jaree, the models, are just assaulted by the whole gang after this line jumping thing that *gasp* wasn’t even their fault. Dave, old depends dude, threatens to mess with their car. !! They actually caved and let the rest of them go ahead. Just sad.

The "oh my god"
~ The fudge packers are pack’en attitude like a couple of black chicks at a James Brown revival appearance. And Chip? is exceptionally close, if not absolutely, the single most annoying human on earth. "It's this way... " hahaha... YA BIG FREAK! Chip totally misunderstands an instruction and stamps his little foot until Commander Ryker concedes and is led on a lead destroying wild goose chase. At the line jumping incident he ends up getting all shrill and swearing... I swear face powder was shooting off his face he was doing the angry gay man routine so well.

and the Nasty!
~ Molly Mole! (as wench calls her)... what a trip! This is the "In Relationship Twelve Years and Still Virgins" couple... as we are reminded at every turn. She's all about herself being the go-getter, who a) goes asthmatic at the drop of a hat and b) is only a go-getter in contrast to her seriously deficient lap dog of a boyfriend. Chuck, at the apex of a tense race moment (actually sitting in a cart race car) has a panic attack, or claustrophobia or maybe just the crazy-wussies... whatever. He has to get back out of the car and let others dive into the lead while he calms down. She was ever so pleased. These two simply cannot get married. She obviously needs some serious cock and in a big hurry and he is an absolutely lost cause. He has Cameron Syndrome (ne Ferris Beuler) written all over him and will become utterly subservient to the first girl that rocks his world.

And then there were eight... couples... well, sorta... There’s a lotta hate go’en on there. One team wins a million dollars... the rest spend that on therapy.
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  • shiver

    You know that shiver you get through your shoulder blades and down your back when you feel cold. Maybe you’ve just left the restaurant and you’re…

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