Survivor VI : Pre-show
Cat Fights and Testosterone in the Amazon!
Hello. My name is...
Hey... notice the ICON... that was the winning icon, and thanks very much to acoolsecretary for putting it together for me... she rocks. (well, so do all the others that made icons... :D Thank you all soooo much!)
I thought I’d post a quick note to introduce you all to the kids that will be entertaining us for the next few months...
Keeping in mind that the show is all about pitting the genders against themselves and then, against one another... I have high hopes that the show will be chock full of canon fodder for the diss fest that are the Survivor Updates.
The real question is which one will get sick first and puke. According to the history of the show... he or she that can’t shake the puking goes second. Accounting for the fact that the anti-social total moron goes first.
Jaburu - XX
Ahhh the land of the double-X. A Survivor Camp of only girls... I’m expecting cat fights... (please let there be a lesbian or two in the gang).
Christy: She’s deaf... not that there’s anything wrong with that... but will we get to see the others talking behind her back? She brought Sage as a luxury item and she’s single. Seems like a nice woman...
Deena: Yeah, ok... right off... she brought water balloons? How do you bring water balloons... I mean, a water balloon is a balloon right? She’s married and doest drink.
Heidi: Brings a jump rope. She’s all uber blondi cutie pie looking... She’s single and is a Lingerie Saleswoman, with a rubber rope. The mind boggles. She’s single and is a Lingerie Saleswoman. This, of course will endear her to the other women on the girls team (not).
Janet: Steals her daughters teddy bear to take to the Amazon. Nice. Fucking thief.
Jeanne: Works for the milk marketing board... brought massage oil. A married milk maid with massage oil. She’ll be fun.
Jenna: Has Venus swimwear trophies on her mantle at home and brought a "zeta crown" (wtf?). Ok... she’s gonna fulfill the "Ho biscuit quota" on the show, you just know it... and boy will she be pleased that the team is all women. Talk about losing your edge. Hahahaha...
Joanna: the required woman of colour. Brought a picture of her mama and teaches aerobics. I wonder if she can waggle her finger like lil’miss silver panties from a few Survivors ago.
Shawna: brought a soccer ball... go girl - right off I like her... and she has a strong competitive edge to her.
Tambaqui - XY
Ok... boys are generally speaking, dumb... everybody knows this... at least until they're in their 30's... and don’t get all offended, that’ll just tell me you’re in denial. So eight guys in the jungle on their own? Geezus... two guys in a comfy apartment can’t manage to do the dishes... so the testosterone may flow but the place is gonna be a pig sty.
Alex: brings a medal? Wohoo... I guess that’s better than a skateboard, but dude? Who you gonna impress with that? Watch this space for Steroid Rage.
Butch: School principal... "he put the Pal in principal" ... yahuh.
Daniel: A martial arts dude with magnetic rings... possibly going to set up a Nekan Sales Circle ? Magnets will be really useful in the jungle.
Dave: Ok... he is, in point of fact, a rocket scientist. Expect to get sick of the jokes that surely will follow that factoid around. He brought a sketch book... it’s going to get wet bro... Amazon... RAIN.
Mathew: The Jungle Boy. Brought his high school wrestling jacket... I wonder if he brought his cute little high school wrestling single-suit too...
Rob: BROUGHT A MAGIC 8 BALL. He’s a geek... could be fun... then again the testosterone boys may eat him for breakfast.
Roger: Sierra Club membership... I wonder if he’ll spike a few trees while he’s there... brought dog tags.
Ryan: Well... he’s a model slash actor ... again, the boys against the girls paradigm will be working against this one. However, he brought a baseball bat and a base ball. When the boys totally lose it anger wise... keep the bat hidden... yes?
Now then... pick a winner!!! And I’ll link this in the final episode review
My pick for a winner... Christy. Runner up? Rob.
(of course, I’ll be revising that guess after tonight...)