Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

BB3 Update!!

BB3 Update: Sponge Bob Square Thong

Well... they've culled the herd. All that is left is the hoe biscuit, Miss. Congeniality, Dr. No and her lap dog.

In Brief
We start with a little bit of sole searching... that is, they're looken for the shoes so they can stomp all over the ex-house-mats and revel in their superiority. Amy just cruises along in her completely naive state and the inevitable nominations take place... Amy and Lisa are nom'd after this really goofy food comp and a head-game luxury comp.

Some details?
After reviewing Marcellas's shocking ouster... shocking to him anyways, we get the inevitable Dani moment saying "8 down ... 2 to go". She (Dani) makes a pretty lame evil-overlord with this big ass guilt complex she wears around her neck... draggin her down but still... Shes working her evil magic. She even wonders out loud "why oh why did you didn't veto yourself?" when she knows dam well that he didn't because she convinced him Amy was going. hahaha... there's one born every minute I guess.

Besides giving them, once again, a smaller "round table" BB has not got a lot going on unless they (BB) make it for them... otherwise the kids would be just sitting around sleeping. So it's all about the games they play tonight.

Game 1: A luxury challenge. (which, unfortunately, means we have to endure more of Stick Girl).
The house-mats have to run around the house and find the four cell phones BB has placed there and then wait for instructions. Instructions? You each will get a chance to give a friend $1000 and take a 3-minute call from home. Sounds good? Yeah... well each mat is brought into the Idiot Room and asked if they would take the deal, sweetened with a $5000 personal gain if it meant that the other house-mats get... NOTHING. Dr. No goes for it right away. Amy however has a moment of heart and declines... So the sweeten the pot to $10,000 and she goes for it... then Lisa? declines... sweeten... declines... sweetened to $15,000 and ??? and she declines. (good girl) Now Jason... He declines up to $15,000 and then goes for it. So now they have three takers but only one will win. They reveal a secret number depending on the phone they found and the lowest number wins. Amy wins. But the issue is that nobody knows whom won, or the circumstances... except that if they went to the secret numbers it means there was more than one taker. It had all the earmarks of a good head game but the gang... virtuous to a fault, all blow their loads the moment Stick Girl signs off revealing the depth of each of their selfishness. Little do they know that if they had all declined there was a grand prize for the gang... but alas, we don't find out what it was.

Game 2: Food competition aka Spong Bob Round Bum.
They all are told to slip into their swim suits - gasp - and then have to put on these giant sponge outfits. They all looked like evil Sponge Bob knock-offs. the goal was to move water (via their absorbency) from one pool to other little kiddie pools named for a day of the week and a food type (i.e. Surf-and-Turf on Wednesday). It was remarkable only in the fact that they are all such klutzes. Lisa rips her outfit and loses her shorts giving us an ass shot and Amy falls over doing a nice "I've fallen and I can't get up" deal. They win food for 5 of 7 days.

Fav Quote
"A lot of people played this game with honesty... and a lot of people left because of that." …Danielle stating the obvious.

Amy, who must be at least starting to realize that she is living on a different planet than the rest of the house-mats, comments "Danielle? Her word to me is gold." We are treated to this after watching Danielle lie to Amy and ensure she is well placed for the next eviction. Every time Amy speaks, I let out a Simpson-esque "D'oh".

Amy, speaking for the other vagina equipped house-mats says to Jason as he tries (unsuccessfully) to carry two monster water bottles "We don't care how much you can lift, just so long as you bring our snacks at midnight." Then we get a montage of Jason being the Cabana Boy running around at the whip cracks of his various masters. How can a boy be this pussy whipped without actually getting any?

After nominating Lisa and Amy, leaving Jason to cast the only vote, Danielle comments to the collected mats, "Let the man of the house decide. I'm just say'en, y'all are single, he's single... you know what to do." Yeah... can you just see Amy and Lisa letting lose with all their er... charms to get his saving vote?

Most Memorable Moment
During the food competition, when they're all dressed up like spong bob, Lisa gets caught up in her giant water logged sponge and it tears... then her shorts start coming down... and the camera holds true for a nice ass shot of her in her thong bathing suit bottoms. I mean... ok, sure... but she's got a great ass.

What won't happen but would sure be nice...
"Oh Cabana Boy... bring me some ice chips... thank you... now sit down her for a moment... and let mama show you a little trick she learned at a truck stop."

Amy wins the "ET Phone Home" thing and gets on the honker with her family and asks "how’s bucky?" I would have paid cash money to hear "well, bucky’s dead." but no dice. Then the best part... her little brother talks about going hunting for "doves" and how many doves he shot...and Amy is all happy for him... "You killed doves? Good... Good..." (yuck... what's next, Bambi?)
Amy is just totally out in left field here... having no idea who's aligned with who. Strategy to her is a descriptive adjective describing how to put on lip liner.

Lisa is seeing the end game now, and sees through the Jason-Danielle deal. She's calmly watching for an opening that sadly will most likely not come.

Danielle? "It's nothing personal... Just business." As she puts Lisa and Amy up. making this six weeks of on-the-block for Amy and Lisa hopefully seeing that there is nothing new under the sun. Oh, and nice lap dog ya got there Dani.

HA! two words; Lap Dog.

So one Head Girl, two nominees, and one voter. It's all carved in stone now... Jason will vote to evict Amy and then it will all be up to some competition between Lisa, Jason and Dani.

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